Fat 'joggers' are a big joke
You know those self-mis-proclaimed joggers, mid-thirties or early-forties corporates, fat and pudgy, clad in sweatpants and sleeveless tops, very very expensive sneakers, and an earpod sticking out of each lobe, shuffling up the pavement with such miserable energy that any quick count of kilojoules expended would determine conclusively that more exercise would be achieved if they just sat down and laughed at themselves.
They think that lazy shuffling with their barely mobile baby steps is jogging.
I mean, these people need serious help. Someone should frighten and chase you next time they see you doing that pointless, lazy ambling.
Someone should attempt to steal your phone. Like run at you with a weapon and shout, “Give up your phone, you lop. Thug life!” thus prompting you to actually run because you are afraid of what they will do when they get your phone.