Emotionally traumatized, i feel empty inside?

When I was a child my parents divorced and things took a turn for the worst. My mother was mentally Ill and was the main person who raised me. She kept my father out of my life and traumatized me with emotional and mental abuse for many years, up until I was the age of 15-16 years old until i moved away from her.

Lately I have been feeling very empty and emotionally drained. I have developed multiple anxiety disorders and a dissasociative disorder (I'm always off I'm my own world and can never really come back to reality, it feels horrible!). Some nights I can't even fall asleep.

I have never been to a psychiatrist or anything of the sort. I try to think positive and see all of the good things in my life, but the only thing that consumes me are my negative/ distorted/ irrational thoughts. Is it normal to feel this way?

Is there any hope left for me? Any books that you would recommend I should read?

Please leave a comment, it would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for taking the time to read this. Sincerely, John

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Based on 42 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • beneficialpest

    You are describing Borderline Personality Disorder. I see it very frequently. It is common among people who have been through what you have. Given the fact that your mother has a mental illness your risk factor for this illness goes up dramatically. Buy the book Borderline Personality Disorder for Dummies and see if that fits. It might change your life. You should probably see both a psychiatrist AND a psychologist. Ask the psychiatrist about trying a trial of Gabapentin and Mirtazapine.

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  • As an adult of child neglect, especially since your mother was mentally ill, you are at a disadvantage in life. You will have to work hard to eradicate the negative affects of growing up in an unstable environment. Few people are able to do it, but it is not at all impossible.

    Go to the bookstore or library; there are loads of books about adult children of abuse. The more you know and understand about how you were raised, the better you will feel. You will go through periods of mourning (for the childhood that was stolen from you), resentment (towards the adults who should have been there for you when you were little), and forgiveness (towards the people who abused you because they don't know any better) while you work your way through your issues.

    You could also see a psychologist because they are so knowledgeable about human behavior and how our experiences as children mold us into who we are today.

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  • Storm

    Live your life. You've gone through so much, you deserve some happiness. Try a physologist or a physciatrist, because they may be able to help you, but remember; there is ALWAYS hope. As long as there is breath left in your body, there is hope. Wow, that sounded cheesy!
    Good Luck!

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  • Vyzr

    Watch anime, read manga and play video games. They fill the big hole. Id recomend watching "wolfs rain" for your first anime. When im feeling really sad thats what i do and it helps 100%! Hope it works for you.

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  • thegiantmidget

    Well a lot of times, I feel the same way. I kind of feel like no emotion is worth feeling anymore and it's just a waste of time. Since you've been through a divorce, and you obviously got the short end of the stick, I can see why you feel like that.
    But you have to know that, there is something to help you. Whether it be a psychologist, psychiatrist, good book, or good friend, you should find something that will keep you grounded and hopefully fill that emptiness. Hopefully it will help you understand why you feel like that and get you feeling better.

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  • BoredGuy

    try a psychologist, i dont think you need psychiatrist yet.

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  • you need to put these events into perspective, you cant do it now, its too soon. later you will realize that you can have a wonderful life and not worry about the past.
    there a lots of tricks others use to deal with trauma, go see the experts cause they know some tried and true remedies. or if you would rather self help try being creative with art etc, join a religion, meditate, or be sad use drink/drugs or wallow. all the best you can get thru it

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  • NormalGuyx1

    It's not necesarily normal, but considering how much you've been through I bet most people would feel the same way.

    I have a friend whose parents have divorced so I see where your coming from.

    Best of luck.

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  • tacobellisawesome

    it's too long to read . this is stupid.

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