Elevators suck

Have you ever been in an elevator?

If not, you country bumpkin, you are so lucky. Please don’t let development bring these things to your village.

Elevators SUCK! Very often than not I want to get out of the elevator as soon as possible. Why?

Elevators have no bouncers, no security guards, no barriers to entry. Whoever wants can enter, no matter what they smell like. Full access to the lift is granted to all, regardless.

Ewwwwww! The way that last dude smelled I am not even sure those were farts. Body odour smells bad. This guy smelt evil. I suspect it was curses and evil spirits we detected floating around him.

They are built to carry a maximum of eight people on average, but not built to accommodate these eight people’s personal space. The result is that you can and often will find yourself having to take the ride up from floor to floor with a stranger’s crotch in your bum, another stranger’s hair-bun in your nose, yet another strangers elbow in your armpit and you cannot even exercise your basic human right to say “Sh**”, because your mouth is muffled with your face in someone’s bosom.

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Comments ( 15 )
  • BatterMilk

    It depends when, where, and who is on the elevator with you. For me I won't take the elevator if it looks dark, messy, or smells really bad. I can handle a few people, but if there's too many I will just have to hold my breath and hope for the best.

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  • mouldiwarp

    When I go out, the elevators are usually empty. And I have a poor sense of smell so I’ve never smelt what you’re describing.

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  • bbrown95

    I always have a fear of being trapped in one. I also hate the ones in which the doors are always trying to shut on you (apparently the sensors don't work too well).

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  • noid

    OP Are the elevators really this crowded where you live now? Where I live well actually I ride them at work and it is much more empty now because of COVID-19 precautions.

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  • Tommythecaty

    Get sucked off in an elevator, then they won’t suck.

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

      steven tyler over here

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      • Tommythecaty

        Aerosmith is crap.

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        • bbrown95

          I thought I was one of the only people who doesn't care for them, lol. I don't know why, but I just really do not like their music. There's almost an annoying quality to it. Of all of the music I was subjected to as a kid (tons of '70s and '80s), I was okay with most of it, but never could stand Aerosmith. Few things other than country and butt rock will make me change the station so quickly.

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        • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

          theyre no cramps but theyre acceptable classic rock radio station filler to me

          theres worse shit out there

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          • Tommythecaty

            Cramps are pretty dope. Yeah there’s worse out there but that shouldn’t be the standard for listening, radio is shit.

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  • notsaying4life

    Lol

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  • Somenormie

    I agree they do suck but they are somewhat helpful though.

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  • litelander8

    Horse person?

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    i doubt theres anyone here whos never been on an elevator

    the place to be is on the roofa the elevator car

    now thats fun

    and where the fuck are you that this massive elevator overcrowdin problems are happenin ive never experienced this when i go to the city

    maybe yall should take the stairs

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    • charli.m

      I've lived in two big cities where 8 person capacity is a tiny elevator...average ones here are much bigger...

      And I have never had this over crowding problem.

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