Dancegirl123 I feel exactly the same way. I really hope you get this. I started raving when I was 19 and absolutely fell in love with it. I already had some social anxiety but raved with my then best friend and eventually with my girlfriend. She absolutely loved it, and my social anxiety was almost gone, but then everything went downhill. We went to EDC and my friend, who was on acid/experimental stuff, thought we were going to tell someone about their drugs. Him and 2 others threatened me on the balcony of circus circus with a boxcutter. I ended up getting out of it and talking to my friend, grabbing my girlfriend and running away to tell a security guard. I haven't seen any of them since. That whole day I was tripping. I think they put something in the weed they gave me but I cried in the police department all day because I thought I ruined my gf's life, who just got a new job. They had SO MANY drugs in the room but by the grace of God we got charged with nothing. That night was horrible, and I felt like there was a sniper on the roof of the hotel/my friend died and came into my body.
My gf wanted to continue raving when deep down I wanted to stop. This was my mistake, because the drugs were part of the experience. The next few times were ok, but I have horrible panic attacks on a few occasions where I felt all self conscious and she was acting all weird to me :/. When we got back to the room, I would get ptsd and have panic attacks where I felt like if I thought about dying enough, I would die. At the last rave I went to, last EDC, I rolled one day and felt like everyone could sense my energy. Some person on the bus made fun of me talking about how "boring" I was and that made me feel self conscious. So yeah, in a nutshell, I should have stopped going to massives a long time ago, but I wanted to make my gf happy. Now we're broken up, and I know deep down, these panic atacks were part of the reason. She always talks about how the drugs screwed up my brain. It hurts.
drugs fucked up my life.
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Dancegirl123 I feel exactly the same way. I really hope you get this. I started raving when I was 19 and absolutely fell in love with it. I already had some social anxiety but raved with my then best friend and eventually with my girlfriend. She absolutely loved it, and my social anxiety was almost gone, but then everything went downhill. We went to EDC and my friend, who was on acid/experimental stuff, thought we were going to tell someone about their drugs. Him and 2 others threatened me on the balcony of circus circus with a boxcutter. I ended up getting out of it and talking to my friend, grabbing my girlfriend and running away to tell a security guard. I haven't seen any of them since. That whole day I was tripping. I think they put something in the weed they gave me but I cried in the police department all day because I thought I ruined my gf's life, who just got a new job. They had SO MANY drugs in the room but by the grace of God we got charged with nothing. That night was horrible, and I felt like there was a sniper on the roof of the hotel/my friend died and came into my body.
My gf wanted to continue raving when deep down I wanted to stop. This was my mistake, because the drugs were part of the experience. The next few times were ok, but I have horrible panic attacks on a few occasions where I felt all self conscious and she was acting all weird to me :/. When we got back to the room, I would get ptsd and have panic attacks where I felt like if I thought about dying enough, I would die. At the last rave I went to, last EDC, I rolled one day and felt like everyone could sense my energy. Some person on the bus made fun of me talking about how "boring" I was and that made me feel self conscious. So yeah, in a nutshell, I should have stopped going to massives a long time ago, but I wanted to make my gf happy. Now we're broken up, and I know deep down, these panic atacks were part of the reason. She always talks about how the drugs screwed up my brain. It hurts.