I had this problem recently w my hubby of 15 yrs. It got to the point where he said he hated me and wanted to leave. After hearing this I thought I may as well say some of the things I had held back on over the years because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I also stated right out that I wasn't ready to just pack our relationship in like he was. Turns out he was building a wall because he thought I wanted out and when I told him my issues he said he had no idea that I felt that way and had never looked at things from my side like that. I am a very communicative person but until that moment I didnt realize I had not said things bluntly enough to get through to him. He was as shocked as I was.
So what I'm saying is even if you think you have told him everything you feel try to ask and tell the real things nothing about house stuff or job stuff. Ask him exactly what he thinks of you and your marriage and tell him you are dissastisfied because guess what? You are. Get it all out now because nobody wants to be in a relationship where they feel despised or unimportant. Doing things for him won't help. Let him feel important in the house and with the kids too of he cares about you guys. If he doesn't then take whatever steps you have to. You only get one life. Also your kids are feeling this even if you think you're covering it up. No one likes a martyr and you are just as responsible to make a truley good relationship as he is. I think you may be surprised to learn that he wants to be an equal and contributing partner with you, maybe he just doesn't know how to tell you that. He probably feels like a failure and like he's not living up to his part and maybe doesn't know how to just re-join the family as a responsible member.
Give him the chance to tell you. My relationship is sooo much better now and my guy knows I love him and once again I know he loves me. Marriage is hard work but it has to be brutally honest sometimes.
Don't want to be "clingy"
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I had this problem recently w my hubby of 15 yrs. It got to the point where he said he hated me and wanted to leave. After hearing this I thought I may as well say some of the things I had held back on over the years because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I also stated right out that I wasn't ready to just pack our relationship in like he was. Turns out he was building a wall because he thought I wanted out and when I told him my issues he said he had no idea that I felt that way and had never looked at things from my side like that. I am a very communicative person but until that moment I didnt realize I had not said things bluntly enough to get through to him. He was as shocked as I was.
So what I'm saying is even if you think you have told him everything you feel try to ask and tell the real things nothing about house stuff or job stuff. Ask him exactly what he thinks of you and your marriage and tell him you are dissastisfied because guess what? You are. Get it all out now because nobody wants to be in a relationship where they feel despised or unimportant. Doing things for him won't help. Let him feel important in the house and with the kids too of he cares about you guys. If he doesn't then take whatever steps you have to. You only get one life. Also your kids are feeling this even if you think you're covering it up. No one likes a martyr and you are just as responsible to make a truley good relationship as he is. I think you may be surprised to learn that he wants to be an equal and contributing partner with you, maybe he just doesn't know how to tell you that. He probably feels like a failure and like he's not living up to his part and maybe doesn't know how to just re-join the family as a responsible member.
Give him the chance to tell you. My relationship is sooo much better now and my guy knows I love him and once again I know he loves me. Marriage is hard work but it has to be brutally honest sometimes.
Good luck!