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I am simply referring to people who posses an involuntary psychological condition that causes them to be sexually attracted to children, and not necessarily to people who actually molest children (though they are obviously included).
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| No. | 89 |
exactly what sograceful said.
while i do fully agree that our society should make sure innocent children are not being taken advantage off, it's not so long ago that things like sex with minors were also accepted in western culture.
It's not a new things, it's been there since the beginnings of human civilization(and most likely, before THAT).
It's a normal sexual orientation, but unfortunately, an asymetric one, which makes ACTING upon it despicable.
I have quite a childlike physique(flat chest, slim arms and legs, ...) and no problem with ageplay, partially because i feel for those people in a way.
Only a few 100 years ago, THEY would have been allowed to do their thing while _I_ would have been burned for being lustful with other women. Thinking about that, i absolutely HATE how the western culture, people, and internet community are absolutely HATEFUL on pedophiles, because that way they can't find the help and openness they need. Don't read that wrong: I find it GOOD that they cannot act upon their instincts by law...but at the same time, they are not responsible for their sexual orientation, and what they need is understanding and support in their lifelong "celibacy", not hatred and misunderstanding.
As for people that actually _DO_ molest children(a surprisingly large amount of whom are just preying on easy victims, and are not actually pedophiles), THAT's a different story...and my response would be way crueler than what the law suggests.
I think I love you. One day I hope to find a child-like woman like you, who understands my needs, and my frustrations with the world today. I am a pedophile. I'll never touch a child, but I'm also not ashamed of what I am. I didn't choose to be this way, and I don't know what causes it. But shame never solved anything.
I'd have to disagree that it's a 'normal' sexual orientation. Normal would be being attracted to the sexually mature opposite sex of your species.
and there's the problem.
it's also a "normal" sexual orientation, in the sense of being a "primary sexual orientation" to be attracted to same-age same-sex members of your species.
or would you have all the gays and lesbians believe they are not normal and should get help to be cured of their mental illness?
Thats the problem. It's downplayed as "illness" or distorted sexuality element, which actually is counterproductive. You can't "cure" a pedophile. Neither with prison, nor with other things.
Now, that will sound "weird" on many different levels, but i'd actually encourage them to be open about what they are without repercussions and receive support and chemical castrations as applicable.(on a voluntary basis).
Aside from that: If you base your idea on what is normal on sexual behaviour in nature, then that very much reinforces pedophilia as "normal" as well...you may check up on what weasels males do to freshborn females.
As stated, i don't want the potential severity downplayed, but it also helps no one to push this into a "not normal/criminal" corner and forget about it while making it impossible for people to come forward and openly admit their desires and asking for help without society trying to bash their heads in. It especially doesn't help the children in the few cases one of them finally snaps.
As a lesbian I hope your not a fan of Michele Bachman her and her husband run a clinic that administers conversion Therapy on homosexuals it is sad that such a person can have any success in politics
hu? never heard of her. but i fear you misunderstood? I am lesbian myself, i just raised that as counterpoint to his "normal would be sexually mature opposite-sex same-species"-comment.
because same sex-attraction is pretty damned normal for me.
What i was trying to say is that the same way you can't "heal" a homosexual person, you also can't "heal" a pedophile person.
Neither with prison nor with conversion. Because that is what they are, it's not an illness and it's not a mental issue.
While thankfully, homosexuality is accepted in todays society, also thankfully, pederasty is NOT.
But those people need other solutions, and they can't be found by denying their nature. Lock a pedophile up for 30 years, he's still a pedophile.
Threaten him to make him a social outcast, he'll keep secret about it.
It's not unlike homosexuality was considered when it was still illegal and socially inacceptable in many countries. Thats why i used it for parallels.
Pedophiles don't need threats and hatred, they need understanding and chemical castration.
I disagree pedophilia is a mental illness and the dsm is in agreeance with me. Homosexualy rightly was removed in the 70s or 80s not sure. Bachman was a republican candidate for president but I'm pretty sure she dropped out. And if you look at the research on chemical castration it actually makes these people committ more of these crimes they just use other things besides their penis. The theory is that this is because the individuals are sexually frustrated. I think conversion therapy would actually be a better option. But the truth is is that their is no good way to solve the problem. I say give them life sentences if they committ the crime more than once. By the way homosexuality is still illegal in many Muslim countries
If by normal you mean 'expected to occur in a certain percent of the population', then yes, it's normal to find a few pedophiles here and there. It's not common, and it's NOT normal in terms of our basic purpose, which is to reproduce. It's counter-productive. Am I supposed to say it's normal to spare someone's feelings? I think not. I'm not even saying that it's not normal with ANY sort of negativity, I mean, it happens, and just like any other 'thang' it should be dealt with openly and with understanding, I agree. It's not going to 'go away' if people ignore it or try to lock it away, I understand this. But normal? No, this is not normal in any way, shape or form. Even beyond just the biological reason of reproduction, I don't think that too many pedophiles don't feel or know that sexual contact with a small child is wrong or something that they should NOT be doing, without being taught this. Of course, different cultures and different times have different 'rules', but I'm talking about a case of say a 35 yr old man and a 4 yr old girl. An extreme. I don't think that at any time that this 35 yr old man is doing what he's doing, that he actually thinks it's OK. Not even due exclusively to the sexual part, but the victimization, no matter what culture or time he lives in.
I don't have a problem with anyone's sexual preference....and as long as they do not harm anyone physically or emotionally with any sort of sexual act, fine. You can be a pedophile all day long, as long as you do not act on your desires inappropriately.
I am not sure if I understand you well, if you suggest chemical castration basically for all pedophiles. I think for most pedophiles the benefits of chemical castration are pretty low and the side effects outweigh benefits. But for some pedophiles it can be a good option.
I completely understand, and would never bash anyone for their sexual orientation. I just disagree that it's 'normal'. There's a reason why most men and women are sexually attracted to an 'appropriate' partner. Sexual attraction and who one may ACTUALLY have sex with will differ, of course, I'm just speaking on the base attraction here.
The purpose of sex is to reproduce, nothing more (yes, we've made it into more, and we do it for other reasons, but biologically speaking it's for reproduction). Obviously, if you're overwhelmingly compelled to have sex with someone/something that will not result in offspring then there's something wrong. BUT that's just on a biological level, I'm not saying that 'gays are wrong and shouldn't exist'. I'm just saying from a survival of the species point of view, it's a defect. And not normal.
What do weasels do? I looked and looked for any scrap of what you might be referring to and nothing points to anything remotely close to males raping newborn females (or whatever). All the information I found was actually contrary to that, mainly since weasels are solitary and a male and female wouldn't be living together, a sexually mature male shouldn't be present to molest the babies.
Yes, but the definition of normal goes a bit beyond "what is needed" in human society.
On the reproduction basis, anything starting from oral sex and anal sex to diverse fetishes like BDSM, exhibitionism, watersports or bondage are all not normal.
Now while many things MAY be specialized, the general consensus seems to be that human sexuality goes BEYOND mere reproduction.
As for weasels, yep, they are solitary. If the mother(who alone stays with the young) is out gathering food, a close-by male will sometimes enter the den and pre-impregnate the young females.
But the basic point i tried to make is that in mother nature, or what is defined as "normal" in reproduction, females will be mated with as soon and sometimes before they are ready to be impregnated, and sometimes against their will. So from that point of view, having sex with a 11-year old that already has her period would be more "normal" than oral sex with a consenting partner. That's why i'm trying to say it's not something tolerable, but not something unnatural or abnormal in the grander context. Placing it in a "unnatural and mentally ill"-area is equivalent to denying the problem, because to find an effective solution, you must first accept the problem for what it is.
Thats what i'm trying to say.
Children are innocent, and don't understand sex. Pedophila is wrong, whether it is normal or not. Now many people will disagree with me here because they have never been sexually abused as a child, and simply don't understand it. Children get raped everyday, and normalizing pedophila is not going to help society.
Having an involuntary psychological attraction to children doesn't make you a bad person because you can't help it. What makes you a bad person is when you act on that desire. That's unforgivable.
Actions speak louder than claims.
Thus you cannot be imprisoned for thinking things... you can only be imprisoned for what you DO.
No, being pedophile doesn't make someone a bad person. I know a few pedophiles, most of them are good persons. Definitely there is a difference between being attracted to children and having sexual contact with children.
I definitely don't think we should consider someone bad for being aroused by children or for having some sexual thoughts about children. If the person can control himself not to behave inappropriately, I don't have problem with that. I don't have problems with a pedophile having private sexual fantasies about children so long the person knows it is just a fantasy.
I've heard a lot of people saying that pedophilia is not normal. It depends how you define being normal. I don't have a problem if someone says pedophilia is not normal. But there is something I have a problem with - when someones use the claim that pedophilia is not normal to claim that pedophiles are bad. It's the trick of using the word "normal" in different meanings. (I could say something similar about claims, that pedophilia is an illness or disorder.)
Last, while sexual offences against children definitely aren't something that every pedophile does and while lots of them are committed by non-pedophiles, I have to speak up against stereotyping of those offences and offenders.
Having those involuntary thoughts does not alone make someone a bad person, as the thoughts, while disgusting to many, are not controllable.
Committing those actions MAY make someone a bad person, but there are obviously a huge range of circumstances impacting on this.
Indulging in those actions, to me, makes someone a bad person because it shows lack of the necessary self-control. The definition of "indulging" is very wishy-washy though.
I suppose it depends on how you define the term "bad person." In and of itself, I don't think it necessarily makes one reprehensible on moral grounds; indeed, it can't be helped, and not all pedos are offenders.
However, I think it's fair to say that pedos could be considered "bad people" in the sense that they're defective; much like a person with schizophrenia or any other mental disorder.
@ TerryVie
"It's a normal sexual orientation"
How do you define "normal"???
As long as you don't act on these thoughts, you're not a bad person. For your own sake and for the sake of innocent children whose bodies no one as the right to use for their own pleasure, it would be best to talk to someone professional so you can get to the root of why you feel this and you can move on with your life and be happy.
Just out of sheer curiosity, does 'lolicon' or any kind of pornographically intended material featuring underage children actually help genuine paedophiles (those with the involuntary sexuality) get off in any way without harming actual children?
If by "bad person" you mean evil and immoral, people who scar innocent children for life are. It's not morally right even if some assholes on this site think it is.
Having those kind of thoughts seems disgusting but maybe it can't be helped, but those who actually do it should be in hell.
I agree that having thoughts is ok as long as u don't act on them cuz I have thoughts but would never act on them
Being sexually attracted to children means you have serious issues that you need to work out with a qualified therapist. You are not evil. Actually ACTING on those impulses means you are a criminal and you are bad person and you need to STOP and get help before you hurt any more children.