Does “nice guy syndrome” come from being physically ugly?

This does NOT refer to truly nice people who serve and do good because it’s in their character. It’s about the fake nice guys who always compromise and do what the woman wants at the drop of a hat just to have a chance at dating her.

It’s scummy period. But why do some men do that? They’re ugly, fat, dress poorly, etc. The issue is when they talk to a girl they like, it becomes clear that she isn’t showing interest in him back after the first talk or first week of meeting each other. She’s out of league and is probably skinny and good looking but he’s not.

The problem with “Nice Guys” is not just looks, but their bad character that makes them feel they have to manipulate someone. True nice guys would call it off and accept her as a friend.

But the fakes compensate by buying flowers and taking girls to nice dinners and even helping her move out of her old place because of their warped thinking that they can buy her affection through favors.

I had this problem myself a few times and it probably comes from Quasimodo fantasies of just treating her like a queen and yada yada: nonsense. When I started losing weight, things became more natural and I didn’t feel a lot of pressure to do things to get a girl to like me back. Just be polite and take interest into what she does. She’s just in to you or not. Simple

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 9 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 27 )
  • Youareafuckingidiot.

    it comes from being a loser in general with no personality or accomplishments, but if you're ugly that's just an extra strike against you since 'pretty privilege' is a thing for men as well as women. the attractive ones' problem is the opposite, not finding love over sex, but that's less commonly preferred by men.

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    Number one rule dont come off as desperate. Dont go overboard texting and bringing flowers is also kind of gay unless its her birthday or something.

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    • LloydAsher

      And fruitless since a bunch of flowers are worth less than giving one flower daily.

      Women point systems are weird.

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  • kikilizzo

    Absolutely not. Plenty of conventially attractive men are asshole incels and "nice guys". Saw an article 2-3 years ago interviewing a few self-proclaimed incels and they looked like average men, fit and stylish. I've dated a self-proclaimed nice guy (briefly) and he was normal looking, stylish and had a good job. His issue was he was the most insecure person i've ever had the displeasure of dealing with and he needed constant reassuring and was extremely clingy to the point of taking offense to it if you were busy. He literally got disappointed in me once for not having time to hang out because I was studying for a test... He'd buy me flowers too but only as a way to get me to do what he wanted. On top of that he loved to whine about how all women hate "nice guys" like himself and how he doesnt understand why no one wants to be with him. I actually did try to help him understand why but he'd reach some kind of self awareness for five minutes, then be back in his old ways.

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    • Your story is a bit different than the examples I provided. How was he able to attract you and date for a while? I would guess it took some time to discover his character problems.

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      • kikilizzo

        We met on a dating app where he seemed rather normal. Then honestly I kind of just felt sorry for him so I hung out with him for a while (never got sexual) and he was so persistent that it was hard to just walk away, as if I did he'd get extremely emotional. Even after he let me go he kept texting me for a while looking for answers why it didnt work.

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    • Ihidabody

      People have this very ignorant belief that all incels are unattractive people that have nothing going for themselves.

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      • Not really all. More like 80-90%. Plenty of them are arrogant in addition to being woeful of their situation. They want to date someone who is a 9 but they’re a 5 at best.

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        • Ihidabody

          Deny it if you want. Many people think all incels are unattractive people. It's 50/50. Half are attractive, half are not. Not "80-90%".

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          • Who told you that information?

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            • Ihidabody

              Me.

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  • I’m curious how old are you? I find that women in their 20s often don’t know what they want and that’s what makes it difficult.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Pathetic desperation is never attractive.

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  • I’m on the autism spectrum as well and it’s very difficult to attract women with the condition because reading body language is very hard. If I’m on a date I need to ask the girl “can I kiss you” because I won’t risk going for it as I don’t read faces.

    But as a good looking person it helps a lot. You don’t have to make the first move. Usually a girl checks you out first and you respond politely. If you’re not attractive, you’d have to do all the flirting work and being autistic makes it difficult to be 1. subtle 2. fun and 3. not creepy while flirting. I haven’t been able to learn this so I fell into a the trap of just being “her friend” even though I liked her but didn’t know how to escalate. I was accepting if she didn’t like me.

    Are you diagnosed on the spectrum?

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  • Wow3986

    #Lloysasherisapieceofshit

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  • Ihidabody

    I think it's safe to say that most guys have "nice guy syndrome".

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  • Wow3986

    You must be really miserable to put people down for their appearance. You're ugly on the inside.

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    • That includes myself. I’m working out and losing weight and I encourage other guys to do the same.

      I don’t put down other people for not being aggressive or “beta” (which doesn’t exist), that’s worse because if you’re a shy introvert, you can’t change that.

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      • Wow3986

        So you're insecure? That explains a lot.

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        • Introverted doesn’t mean being insecure, it just means you aren’t gifted in terms of socializing. The key is to work out and improve your looks so that people approach you and then you don’t fail.

          What’s wrong with being shy? Moses and other great figures in the Bible were soft spoken.

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          • Wow3986

            You believe you're ugly which is why you're putting down other people for their appearance.

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            • *Used to*. Now I’m encouraging people to work on their physical appearance since it helps avoid the friendzone.

              If I didn’t make that encouragement clear enough, then I made a mistake. It’s easier to work out and lose weight than become more “Alpha” and change your personality.

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