I think it goes a bit deeper for me than just finding someone to be with though. I mean, sometimes I can't help but wonder...
I think about my parents sometimes. When I was younger, and we were still a happy and unified family, my parents loved each other like nothing that I've ever known before or since. It was like something you'd read in a storybook. They loved each other whole-heartedly. I don't even think I could begin to describe the love they had for each other, because it is just that: indescribable. It was something you don't really see in people anymore, or at least I don't, and if you do see it, it's extremely rare.
It failed though. The marriage. The love they had for one another. Our family. It all fell apart. Why. For whatever reason, whatever ultimately was the cause of disaster, the fact remains that they failed in the end.
I can't help but think 'What hope do I have, knowing that THEY couldn't make it work. My own two parents who loved each other more than anything I've ever HEARD of.'
I'm not really sure if I believe in marriage anymore sometimes.
For me, having children goes right along with that. The thought of trying to have a family, and then failing like they did, or like so many others have, is terrifying to me. I wouldn't ever want that for my children. So, sometimes I think it might be best to just not have any.
Lets say that perhaps you do meet that special someone. Whose to say that you two can't have good communication? I think that if you guys saw that you two weren't right for each other, mutually, I would at least think that you guys would keep it together till the kids were out of the house. I mean some relationships can get boring, especially if they've been going on for awhile, but that doesn't mean that you two can't talk about what you guys want. Perhaps this is the way I imagine a relationship should be, good communication and just a general want to make it work.
I've been fortunate enough to see what love is like. I'm not referring to my parents, I'm actually referring to my best friend's parents. Nearly 30 yrs of being together. I've talked with her mom before and asked her how she's been able to keep the marriage alive. She just said that they both want to make it work and both care about each other and the life that they've built together. She is a great mother and a great person, her husband is a chill dude as well. Sure they fight here and there, but they don't go to bed without resolving it. There kids aren't perfect though, my best friend, she is anorexic and was suicidal. Her older sister, who is 25 still acts like a spoiled brat, although her parents do spoil her so it's understandable but it's still not ok. Point is that a great marriage doesn't always produce great kids.
I think the fear that you have; trying to measure up and be a good father, maintaining a family, and generally just being there for the people you love. I think these fears are the same that everyone has at some point in their life. But I think that regardless, as long as you try to be a good father, you will succeed. As long as you communicate with the people you love, that will keep them from being strangers in your house. As long as you try, and your partner does to (this part requires communication) you should be able to maintain everything. Perhaps I'm wrong, I've never been in a romantic relationship, but I have been in some great friendships and still am. I talk to the people I'm close to, I tell them my fears and I express to them how I feel and ask that they do the same. I take an interest in them and they take an interest in me. Communication is key in any relationship, and I think as long as you have that you should do alright in life.
I didn't overlook what you wrote here, I was feeling kind of down at the time and it just took me awhile to get back to you. I am doing a little better now I think. You are wise beyond your years, and I thank you for your advice, your insight, and your positivity. Thank you.
I agree with everything you said here, and I just want you to know that I will never give up. I refuse. No matter what happens or how long it takes, I will always keep my hope. I may have my down moments every now and again, but I will pull through. I have to. :)
That's good to hear man. I know that it will all work out in the end. I'm not trying to stress love as the single most important thing in life, I'm just saying that you deserve it.
Do you want to be a parent someday?
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Thank you for the kind words.
I think it goes a bit deeper for me than just finding someone to be with though. I mean, sometimes I can't help but wonder...
I think about my parents sometimes. When I was younger, and we were still a happy and unified family, my parents loved each other like nothing that I've ever known before or since. It was like something you'd read in a storybook. They loved each other whole-heartedly. I don't even think I could begin to describe the love they had for each other, because it is just that: indescribable. It was something you don't really see in people anymore, or at least I don't, and if you do see it, it's extremely rare.
It failed though. The marriage. The love they had for one another. Our family. It all fell apart. Why. For whatever reason, whatever ultimately was the cause of disaster, the fact remains that they failed in the end.
I can't help but think 'What hope do I have, knowing that THEY couldn't make it work. My own two parents who loved each other more than anything I've ever HEARD of.'
I'm not really sure if I believe in marriage anymore sometimes.
For me, having children goes right along with that. The thought of trying to have a family, and then failing like they did, or like so many others have, is terrifying to me. I wouldn't ever want that for my children. So, sometimes I think it might be best to just not have any.
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Anime7
10 years ago
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Lets say that perhaps you do meet that special someone. Whose to say that you two can't have good communication? I think that if you guys saw that you two weren't right for each other, mutually, I would at least think that you guys would keep it together till the kids were out of the house. I mean some relationships can get boring, especially if they've been going on for awhile, but that doesn't mean that you two can't talk about what you guys want. Perhaps this is the way I imagine a relationship should be, good communication and just a general want to make it work.
I've been fortunate enough to see what love is like. I'm not referring to my parents, I'm actually referring to my best friend's parents. Nearly 30 yrs of being together. I've talked with her mom before and asked her how she's been able to keep the marriage alive. She just said that they both want to make it work and both care about each other and the life that they've built together. She is a great mother and a great person, her husband is a chill dude as well. Sure they fight here and there, but they don't go to bed without resolving it. There kids aren't perfect though, my best friend, she is anorexic and was suicidal. Her older sister, who is 25 still acts like a spoiled brat, although her parents do spoil her so it's understandable but it's still not ok. Point is that a great marriage doesn't always produce great kids.
I think the fear that you have; trying to measure up and be a good father, maintaining a family, and generally just being there for the people you love. I think these fears are the same that everyone has at some point in their life. But I think that regardless, as long as you try to be a good father, you will succeed. As long as you communicate with the people you love, that will keep them from being strangers in your house. As long as you try, and your partner does to (this part requires communication) you should be able to maintain everything. Perhaps I'm wrong, I've never been in a romantic relationship, but I have been in some great friendships and still am. I talk to the people I'm close to, I tell them my fears and I express to them how I feel and ask that they do the same. I take an interest in them and they take an interest in me. Communication is key in any relationship, and I think as long as you have that you should do alright in life.
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Shackleford96
10 years ago
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I didn't overlook what you wrote here, I was feeling kind of down at the time and it just took me awhile to get back to you. I am doing a little better now I think. You are wise beyond your years, and I thank you for your advice, your insight, and your positivity. Thank you.
I agree with everything you said here, and I just want you to know that I will never give up. I refuse. No matter what happens or how long it takes, I will always keep my hope. I may have my down moments every now and again, but I will pull through. I have to. :)
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Anime7
10 years ago
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That's good to hear man. I know that it will all work out in the end. I'm not trying to stress love as the single most important thing in life, I'm just saying that you deserve it.