Do you think partners should help pay for birth control pills?

I see what you're saying, but it's like it seems like way too much trouble, and bother for me to tell you the truth. I used to want a romantic, loving, committed relationship. Even though we do disagree on some things, I like to think that we share a certain degree of mutual respect for each other, so I'm trying to be polite here.

This is deeply embarrassing, and shameful for me to say, but maybe I have, and still am losing any real desire for that romantic, happily ever after stuff. I kinda feel like a broken record, and that I repeat myself too much, but it's like that abusive relationship that I left back in the fall of 2017 really broke me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I can't imagine trusting another person enough to be sufficiently vulnerable to give someone my all, because in my heart of hearts I cannot begin to see another person giving me their all, really loving me for myself and being truly trustworthy. I've certainly had my share of relationships throughout my adult life, after that last one almost five years ago I'd probably trust a rattlesnake, or a mountain lion more than some guy. My ex used to primarily abuse me verbally, and emotionally screaming in my face til I started to dissociate sometimes. The last time was the day that I walked away from him when he grabbed me, and dragged back to the house like I was an animal or something, as soon as he let go me I ran, locked myself in a camper on the property and called 911. For the life of me I can't understand people who stay in abusive relationships where they are beat down all the time. The only reason I didn't leave sooner was because I, was enrolled in classes at a junior college. When I first met this crazy person he seemed almost perfect, and he even told me that his ex-wife used to beat him, so it was like this person psychologically disarmed me from the get go. Now in retrospect after studying a lot about narcissists, and narcissistic abuse I think I missed many, many red flags. With the help of good therapists, and a lot of study I'm pretty sure that person was just telling me a lot of lies about himself, but the mask always slips so you can see the real person underneath all the charm, love bombing, gaslighting and bald faced lies. Now in my head I have a very hard time understanding how people can be so open, and trusting of human beings. One of the creepiest things for me was when I started to see how much this guy was like my mother.

... anyway, that enough of that talk, sorry about my rant, but I guess that is part of why I am they way I am. It does boggle my mind though that I had had plenty of relationships throughout my life, and never had any sort of experience like this one I have explained to you. For life of me I can't understand people who go from abusive relationship to abusive over, and over. What I have become is just more like someone who is trying to go her own way, and opt about of the whole game that society expects people to play. Society oftentimes treats people who choose to be single like they are defective, or crazy, because who wouldn't want to be like everyone else if given the chance.

I could probably choose to abstain from commenting on certain posts, but I feel it necessary to put my voice out there, because I know there are other people, just like me out there who are victims/survivors who are too depressed, shy, or introverted to speak their peace.

Okay, I guess that's my long winded response, I think I have ran out of gas for now.