"...when you upset her though it isn't your fault?"
Strange wording. If something you do or say angers someone, then you own the action that upset them.
Whether their reaction is reasonable is another question. Some people love drama, and they deliberately interpret words and actions in the worst possible way. If you don't know someone really well, it's easy to accidentally prod a raw nerve. Some people are selfish, and they get upset when confronted with the fact that their partner has their own needs and desires. Some people have unrealistic expectations of how a relationship should work, don't know how to negotiate and so they get upset when there's any conflict at all.
Lots of people don't know what the hell they really want in a relationship, aren't capable of expressing their needs and feelings calmly and clearly, and are unable to listen, accept and empathise when others express their needs and feelings. Putting two people like that together is a recipe for arguments, frustration and tears.
You should apologise if you've upset someone by a deliberately saying or doing something which you now recognise wasn't fair or kind. You should also apologise if you've accidentally upset them and you wish you hadn't.
Telling someone you're sorry that they're upset sounds like an apology, but actually isn't. What it says is that you believe you haven't actually done anything wrong, and the other person has overreacted or is being irrational.
The ability to accept that we've made a mistake and admitting that is a sign of good mental health and emotional maturity. Those who can't recognise when they've made an error, own it and move forward are either psychopaths or emotionally fragile. They may look strong, but their sense of self is so rigid and brittle that they know it would shatter if they ever admitted they were less than perfect. They aren't capable of dealing with the discomfort of getting something wrong, so they warp their perception of reality to make themselves right and the rest of the universe wrong.
Do you say sorry
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"...when you upset her though it isn't your fault?"
Strange wording. If something you do or say angers someone, then you own the action that upset them.
Whether their reaction is reasonable is another question. Some people love drama, and they deliberately interpret words and actions in the worst possible way. If you don't know someone really well, it's easy to accidentally prod a raw nerve. Some people are selfish, and they get upset when confronted with the fact that their partner has their own needs and desires. Some people have unrealistic expectations of how a relationship should work, don't know how to negotiate and so they get upset when there's any conflict at all.
Lots of people don't know what the hell they really want in a relationship, aren't capable of expressing their needs and feelings calmly and clearly, and are unable to listen, accept and empathise when others express their needs and feelings. Putting two people like that together is a recipe for arguments, frustration and tears.
You should apologise if you've upset someone by a deliberately saying or doing something which you now recognise wasn't fair or kind. You should also apologise if you've accidentally upset them and you wish you hadn't.
Telling someone you're sorry that they're upset sounds like an apology, but actually isn't. What it says is that you believe you haven't actually done anything wrong, and the other person has overreacted or is being irrational.
The ability to accept that we've made a mistake and admitting that is a sign of good mental health and emotional maturity. Those who can't recognise when they've made an error, own it and move forward are either psychopaths or emotionally fragile. They may look strong, but their sense of self is so rigid and brittle that they know it would shatter if they ever admitted they were less than perfect. They aren't capable of dealing with the discomfort of getting something wrong, so they warp their perception of reality to make themselves right and the rest of the universe wrong.