I don't think so. I'm lucky to live in a non-third world country. I can afford some luxuries and I have access to good food and drink. Just about everything else I hate. I didn't like my childhood, I'd say it was traumatizing, abusive and depressing, I had all these dreams and I no longer feel I can make them a reality. The interests I used to have now make me depressed. I feel worthless and there are some days where I contemplate whether or not I deserve to live. I used to fantasize about having a different life, I still do but in a slightly different sense, and eventually I realized that it wouldn't happen the way I had wanted to....
The "friends" I have, most of them I don't care about. I've realized that we have very little in common and therefore, I can barely relate to them. Some the friends I had stop their contact with me and with one of them I'll probably always wonder what his true feelings toward me were. There's only one of my friends that I can relate to and despite this I find myself slowly distancing myself away from her.
I "poor" social skills and social phobia's where it's becoming a cycle for me to quit things that are mostly good for me. Loving the subsets but quitting the classes because I don't feel like dealing with the people, even if they're mostly nice. I too paranoid to even leave my house by self! I can't go on walks or ride on bike...
Then, I've got all these health problems like my salt sensitivity, that make my life more depressing than need be.
It's like I'm stuck in some oppressive box and just can't escape from it. Every twist and turn I make leads me to a dead-end or more problems. It's irritating and of course, depressing.
Do you have one of the best lives on the planet?
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I don't think so. I'm lucky to live in a non-third world country. I can afford some luxuries and I have access to good food and drink. Just about everything else I hate. I didn't like my childhood, I'd say it was traumatizing, abusive and depressing, I had all these dreams and I no longer feel I can make them a reality. The interests I used to have now make me depressed. I feel worthless and there are some days where I contemplate whether or not I deserve to live. I used to fantasize about having a different life, I still do but in a slightly different sense, and eventually I realized that it wouldn't happen the way I had wanted to....
The "friends" I have, most of them I don't care about. I've realized that we have very little in common and therefore, I can barely relate to them. Some the friends I had stop their contact with me and with one of them I'll probably always wonder what his true feelings toward me were. There's only one of my friends that I can relate to and despite this I find myself slowly distancing myself away from her.
I "poor" social skills and social phobia's where it's becoming a cycle for me to quit things that are mostly good for me. Loving the subsets but quitting the classes because I don't feel like dealing with the people, even if they're mostly nice. I too paranoid to even leave my house by self! I can't go on walks or ride on bike...
Then, I've got all these health problems like my salt sensitivity, that make my life more depressing than need be.
It's like I'm stuck in some oppressive box and just can't escape from it. Every twist and turn I make leads me to a dead-end or more problems. It's irritating and of course, depressing.