My non-verbal communication is bad. I can read what signals people are sending me but I just don't seem able to send the right signals back. I get misread a lot. People think I'm thinking something but I'm not. People often think I'm judging them when I'm not.
But then, more and more I notice social awkwardness in others and I'm the one who is keeping everyone buzzing and happy and together. I'm the first to notice if the mood is turning, and I'm the first person to do something about it and get everyone back on track. I almost seem to see social things before others do, and it seems at odds with Asperger's.
I do often prefer my own company, though, because it's just easier, and I have a huge awareness of pattern and order and number and I guess I don't like it if things move outside the pattern they're supposed to be in. I notice it quickly.
Hmm...I can't say for sure, but from what you've said about your ability to hold social situations together in the way that you described, it almost feels as though you're social glue!
Then again, not all Aspies are terrible at mixing with others, though - naturally there is that element of social confusion. For example, I didn't go to school as a child (my teacher mum handled my education) and I've always ended up dropping out from dance classes, group activities, and friendships - I've only had one proper friend, and she ended up being terrible; I'm not much cop at interpreting other people's intentions. That's why my husband, John, is awesome. He's so understanding and manages to make me feel sexy...although that could be something to do with his being sexy...
I also have little empathy for others (to be honest, I now have to fake any sort of care).
A general list of 'Asperger and Autism points' to look out for are things like these:
¤ Anger issues
¤ Limited or no empathy for those around you
¤ Hyper- or hyposensitivity (with hypersensitivity, you have an extreme ability to react strongly to certain textures, sounds, pressures, visuals or tastes - with hypo-, you have a lessened sensitivity than what is considered to be average for most neurotypicals - NTs -).
¤ Tendency to take things literally
¤ Obsessions with certain topics
¤ Impeccable memory for certain subjects (for instance I remember small details and almost all words I read)
¤ Interests which may seem trivial or strange to outsiders (I like to read and study dictionaries, and collect random items which I stick into a scrapbook I made).
¤ Tendency to 'slip up' or make social blunders
¤ Motor-skill deficiency (such as; I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was 7, have been pretty rubbish at slicing food and using cutlery, tying shoelaces and I still can't swim)
¤ Clumsiness or spacial awareness issues
¤ Likeness for patterns
¤ Excessive fantasy life (I have a melee of imaginary friends; I call the entire scenario my Double Life)
¤ Social awkwardness
¤ Inability or little skill for making and maintaining friendships
¤ The few relationships may be intense and you might be dependent
That's all I can think of off-hand - I'll include a link to Aspires; a website which gives you a detailed, helpful set of questions adapted from the 1995 Garnett & Attwood Scale for Asperger's Syndrome, edited especially for adults.
It's really useful - my mum and I checked it out, and it helped me to print out the questions and tick and make notes beside the questions.
Aspires: <a href="http://www.aspires-relationships.com/articles_adult_version_austrailian_scale_for_as.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.aspires-relationships.com/articles_a...</a>
I really hope that helps and gives you some insight, do get back to me and let me know how you're getting on!
Good luck!
xx
P.S.
With Autism, there is a speech delay in childhood (stammers, monogamous tone, heightened or softened pitch, volume or tone, affected foreign accent, etc), whereas with Aperger's Syndrome speech is so-called normal.
Thanks very much for this. I'll take a look through the website. Some of what you say chimes with me.
I suppose I do see literal interpretations of things, but I know I'm doing it and I use it to make jokes. I have a near perfect memory for some things (mainly numbers; I struggle to remember conversations). I couldn't ride a bike until I was about eight. I kept crashing into things. I'm clumsy. I'm obsessed by pattern. It's not even conscious at times. If I'm shown a piece of A4 with a spelling mistake on it, I see it like it's printed in red.
I don't like being forced to socialise with people I don't know, but nobody would ever know. It took a long time for me to start speaking. I was learning to read and learning to maths almost the same time I was learning to speak.
But, yes, I'm always the hub of my friends. I'm the one who keeps everyone else social. A couple of friends have referred to me as glue too, although I can withdraw and put huge distances between myself and others. I tend to draw people to myself. I'm very empathic indeed and self-sacrificing but when I get close to someone it seems to go a bit awry.
Do you have a mental disorder/illness?
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I have Asperger's Syndrome and I usually score 32!
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dappled
11 years ago
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Hmm, do you actually feel you have Asperger's, though? I have some symptoms but then lots of things which point away from it.
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*~ThePurplePixie~*
11 years ago
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Kind of. Yes.
What symptoms do you have?
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dappled
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My non-verbal communication is bad. I can read what signals people are sending me but I just don't seem able to send the right signals back. I get misread a lot. People think I'm thinking something but I'm not. People often think I'm judging them when I'm not.
But then, more and more I notice social awkwardness in others and I'm the one who is keeping everyone buzzing and happy and together. I'm the first to notice if the mood is turning, and I'm the first person to do something about it and get everyone back on track. I almost seem to see social things before others do, and it seems at odds with Asperger's.
I do often prefer my own company, though, because it's just easier, and I have a huge awareness of pattern and order and number and I guess I don't like it if things move outside the pattern they're supposed to be in. I notice it quickly.
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*~ThePurplePixie~*
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Sorry to reply so late!
Hmm...I can't say for sure, but from what you've said about your ability to hold social situations together in the way that you described, it almost feels as though you're social glue!
Then again, not all Aspies are terrible at mixing with others, though - naturally there is that element of social confusion. For example, I didn't go to school as a child (my teacher mum handled my education) and I've always ended up dropping out from dance classes, group activities, and friendships - I've only had one proper friend, and she ended up being terrible; I'm not much cop at interpreting other people's intentions. That's why my husband, John, is awesome. He's so understanding and manages to make me feel sexy...although that could be something to do with his being sexy...
I also have little empathy for others (to be honest, I now have to fake any sort of care).
A general list of 'Asperger and Autism points' to look out for are things like these:
¤ Anger issues
¤ Limited or no empathy for those around you
¤ Hyper- or hyposensitivity (with hypersensitivity, you have an extreme ability to react strongly to certain textures, sounds, pressures, visuals or tastes - with hypo-, you have a lessened sensitivity than what is considered to be average for most neurotypicals - NTs -).
¤ Tendency to take things literally
¤ Obsessions with certain topics
¤ Impeccable memory for certain subjects (for instance I remember small details and almost all words I read)
¤ Interests which may seem trivial or strange to outsiders (I like to read and study dictionaries, and collect random items which I stick into a scrapbook I made).
¤ Tendency to 'slip up' or make social blunders
¤ Motor-skill deficiency (such as; I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was 7, have been pretty rubbish at slicing food and using cutlery, tying shoelaces and I still can't swim)
¤ Clumsiness or spacial awareness issues
¤ Likeness for patterns
¤ Excessive fantasy life (I have a melee of imaginary friends; I call the entire scenario my Double Life)
¤ Social awkwardness
¤ Inability or little skill for making and maintaining friendships
¤ The few relationships may be intense and you might be dependent
That's all I can think of off-hand - I'll include a link to Aspires; a website which gives you a detailed, helpful set of questions adapted from the 1995 Garnett & Attwood Scale for Asperger's Syndrome, edited especially for adults.
It's really useful - my mum and I checked it out, and it helped me to print out the questions and tick and make notes beside the questions.
Aspires: <a href="http://www.aspires-relationships.com/articles_adult_version_austrailian_scale_for_as.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.aspires-relationships.com/articles_a...</a>
I really hope that helps and gives you some insight, do get back to me and let me know how you're getting on!
Good luck!
xx
P.S.
With Autism, there is a speech delay in childhood (stammers, monogamous tone, heightened or softened pitch, volume or tone, affected foreign accent, etc), whereas with Aperger's Syndrome speech is so-called normal.
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dappled
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Thanks very much for this. I'll take a look through the website. Some of what you say chimes with me.
I suppose I do see literal interpretations of things, but I know I'm doing it and I use it to make jokes. I have a near perfect memory for some things (mainly numbers; I struggle to remember conversations). I couldn't ride a bike until I was about eight. I kept crashing into things. I'm clumsy. I'm obsessed by pattern. It's not even conscious at times. If I'm shown a piece of A4 with a spelling mistake on it, I see it like it's printed in red.
I don't like being forced to socialise with people I don't know, but nobody would ever know. It took a long time for me to start speaking. I was learning to read and learning to maths almost the same time I was learning to speak.
But, yes, I'm always the hub of my friends. I'm the one who keeps everyone else social. A couple of friends have referred to me as glue too, although I can withdraw and put huge distances between myself and others. I tend to draw people to myself. I'm very empathic indeed and self-sacrificing but when I get close to someone it seems to go a bit awry.
Thank you again, by the way. :)
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*~ThePurplePixie~*
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You're very welcome :)
Please let me know how things pan out for you!
xx