I hate myself. Not just the past me but also the present me. I think it is mainly because I am a huge perfectionist. It is definitely a problem though, and I am seriously trying to fix it... with little success.
I think creative people suffer this more than most. In striving for perfection, all they see is their own imperfection. I suffered it as much an anyone. What I did was narrow my focus until I found something good (some piece I'd written), and then narrow it again to find something great (a beautiful sentence), and then again to find something that was as good as it could be (a single word that couldn't possibly be bettered by any other word).
Perfection isn't something you achieve in a wider sense. It's a tiny little pinprick of light that, if you ever see it, you have to count yourself lucky and always remember that you are capable of seeing it. And that's enough.
I completely agree with all of that; I mean logically, I believe it. Unfortunately, the feelings of low self-worth continue to arise. My therapist has given me work sheets and stuff to help challenge these thoughts so I'll see how that goes!
You always give such great advice :) You seem like a genuinely kind person.
When you hate yourself, you're treading on deadly ground. Be very careful that you do not hurt your psyche. No one else can really hurt you but you. I tend to look at my life is unresolved, unfinished and underdeveloped, which it is, and that makes me hate myself. Being in the same position in life with no change or growth makes me hate my life and therefore myself. But this is walking on dangerous ground. You can destroy yourself if you don't take care. I hope scaring you like this doesn't hate yourself more.
I hate myself to so-call "save" myself in public, for example...
I had to much self confedence last year, a preppy lil girl... lost all my friends, hope, (and oh yeah, i got good grades... like that matters...) oh, and the fact that no guy has liked me since 1st fukkin grade tht i actully liked back...oh and i am continiously called lesbo. even though i am NOT just cuz i cant get a guy....not only tht, but i have terrible acne.
I BELIEVE YOU'LL FIND THESE REASONS VERY REASONABLE TO HATE MYSELF.
BUT...
now tht i hate myself, i have gotten the title of "Sickest (and only) punk-chick at school" Wearing black, going skater, average (good a,b,c grades, not best anymore) grades, and LIEING....
i suppose your gonna say tht unhealthy too?
Yes, im well aware, but i lie i am in a relationship to prevent further embarasment.
Yes. I am fully aware that self loathing is not healthy way to think because I have experienced it first hand. I think it is one of the main reasons that I became depressed or maybe the depression caused me to hate myself? Who knows! I'm working on it though :) Best of luck to you as well.
It's weird how the people who are most self-critical are usually the ones with the most to give. You've been here ever since I started on IIN and I've never seen you give bad advice in all that time. I like that there are people like you on the site. It balances out some of the people who direct all their hate outwards. I know they're normal as well, but I can never understand people like that.
Do you hate yourself?
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I hate myself. Not just the past me but also the present me. I think it is mainly because I am a huge perfectionist. It is definitely a problem though, and I am seriously trying to fix it... with little success.
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dappled
12 years ago
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I think creative people suffer this more than most. In striving for perfection, all they see is their own imperfection. I suffered it as much an anyone. What I did was narrow my focus until I found something good (some piece I'd written), and then narrow it again to find something great (a beautiful sentence), and then again to find something that was as good as it could be (a single word that couldn't possibly be bettered by any other word).
Perfection isn't something you achieve in a wider sense. It's a tiny little pinprick of light that, if you ever see it, you have to count yourself lucky and always remember that you are capable of seeing it. And that's enough.
If it's not enough for you yet, it will be.
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bronte_91
12 years ago
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I completely agree with all of that; I mean logically, I believe it. Unfortunately, the feelings of low self-worth continue to arise. My therapist has given me work sheets and stuff to help challenge these thoughts so I'll see how that goes!
You always give such great advice :) You seem like a genuinely kind person.
--
kbrill
12 years ago
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dappled
12 years ago
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When you hate yourself, you're treading on deadly ground. Be very careful that you do not hurt your psyche. No one else can really hurt you but you. I tend to look at my life is unresolved, unfinished and underdeveloped, which it is, and that makes me hate myself. Being in the same position in life with no change or growth makes me hate my life and therefore myself. But this is walking on dangerous ground. You can destroy yourself if you don't take care. I hope scaring you like this doesn't hate yourself more.
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udontevenknow11
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bronte_91
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Sir/ Or Miss...
You scare no one.
I hate myself to so-call "save" myself in public, for example...
I had to much self confedence last year, a preppy lil girl... lost all my friends, hope, (and oh yeah, i got good grades... like that matters...) oh, and the fact that no guy has liked me since 1st fukkin grade tht i actully liked back...oh and i am continiously called lesbo. even though i am NOT just cuz i cant get a guy....not only tht, but i have terrible acne.
I BELIEVE YOU'LL FIND THESE REASONS VERY REASONABLE TO HATE MYSELF.
BUT...
now tht i hate myself, i have gotten the title of "Sickest (and only) punk-chick at school" Wearing black, going skater, average (good a,b,c grades, not best anymore) grades, and LIEING....
i suppose your gonna say tht unhealthy too?
Yes, im well aware, but i lie i am in a relationship to prevent further embarasment.
Do u wanna comment back on tht or...
Do u understand y people hate themselves now?
Yes. I am fully aware that self loathing is not healthy way to think because I have experienced it first hand. I think it is one of the main reasons that I became depressed or maybe the depression caused me to hate myself? Who knows! I'm working on it though :) Best of luck to you as well.
It's weird how the people who are most self-critical are usually the ones with the most to give. You've been here ever since I started on IIN and I've never seen you give bad advice in all that time. I like that there are people like you on the site. It balances out some of the people who direct all their hate outwards. I know they're normal as well, but I can never understand people like that.
Hope things work out for you. :)