Fear of physical punishment can keep kids off drugs and from doing many things which might be much more dangerous than the negative lessons you preach above. I think that excessive physical punishment can be abuse, but discretionary physical punishment is indeed an effective method of protecting kids from themselves. It does not sound to me that you have raised too many 1st world teenagers, and until you have, perhaps you should actually experience that, before passing judgement on others.
You are fighting that most powerful of demons, these days; peer pressure. Also, if you noticed in my post, I did say the "Fear of physical punishment", which can be much more effective than the actual physical punishment.
From my experience, you don't need to make children fear you. You claim to have studied psychology (amongst other shit) yet you have no concept of the psychological effects of such a thing?
A live, fucked up kid sure beats a dead kid any day, to me.
You make it sound like my whole existence is about punishing my children and I advocate indiscriminate thrashing of all children.
If you don't like my opinion, then tough shit; delete it. I'll not get dragged into another absolutely pointless vilification and defense scenario, so I'm gone. And here, I'll thumb me down and save you the bother.
Wow someone's sensitive. I don't thumb you down, sweetcheeks.
How would I delete your opinion? That doesn't even make sense.
I'm sorry you get so offended by someone raising a different opinion. Did I fly off the handle at you? No. But feel free to blow up. And (once again) completely fail to back up your actual claims.
I don't know how I feel about spanking as a whole, as I don't have any children, and there may be some ocassions where it's appropriate.
I'm being very honest and vulnerable in saying this, but I do consider myself to be an adult child of a dysfunctional family. I couldn't agree more with your statement that, "you don't need to make children fear you"! I can't think of anyone I fear for whom I have even an ounce of respect! I naturally resent those people who instill fear in me.
If I were in a burning building and there was a person I feared on one end and someone I loved on the other I think I would instinctively save the one I loved!
Yup. I'm not saying that anyone who smacks their kids is evil (contrary to what some contrary people assume) but that it should not be the go to option. More often than not, when I've seen someone smack their kid, it has been because they have lost control of the situation and of themselves. They're human. Everyone has a breaking point. But to say that the best way to deal with children is to use physical punishment (actual or threats of) and to say that as if it is good general advice, to me indicates that person is not in control and has a severe lack of actual parenting skills.
Do you discipline your kids?
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Fear of physical punishment can keep kids off drugs and from doing many things which might be much more dangerous than the negative lessons you preach above. I think that excessive physical punishment can be abuse, but discretionary physical punishment is indeed an effective method of protecting kids from themselves. It does not sound to me that you have raised too many 1st world teenagers, and until you have, perhaps you should actually experience that, before passing judgement on others.
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charli.m
9 years ago
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dust
9 years ago
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If you've raised them with respect and love, they are less likely to turn to drugs. You don't HAVE to use physical punishment.
And yes, I've helped raise teens.
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Negima93
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thegypsysailor
9 years ago
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Actually, one of my family members turned to drugs and she wasn't spanked either. Her parents loved her also.
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charli.m
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"Less likely" I never claimed it was impossible for a child raised by loving parents not to make mistakes. They're human.
There are good people who end up on drugs, too.
That is not the topic of discussion here.
You are fighting that most powerful of demons, these days; peer pressure. Also, if you noticed in my post, I did say the "Fear of physical punishment", which can be much more effective than the actual physical punishment.
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charli.m
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From my experience, you don't need to make children fear you. You claim to have studied psychology (amongst other shit) yet you have no concept of the psychological effects of such a thing?
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thegypsysailor
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RoseIsabella
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A live, fucked up kid sure beats a dead kid any day, to me.
You make it sound like my whole existence is about punishing my children and I advocate indiscriminate thrashing of all children.
If you don't like my opinion, then tough shit; delete it. I'll not get dragged into another absolutely pointless vilification and defense scenario, so I'm gone. And here, I'll thumb me down and save you the bother.
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GinaHead
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charli.m
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Whoa, ego much? Chill the fuck out and relax.
Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.
Wow someone's sensitive. I don't thumb you down, sweetcheeks.
How would I delete your opinion? That doesn't even make sense.
I'm sorry you get so offended by someone raising a different opinion. Did I fly off the handle at you? No. But feel free to blow up. And (once again) completely fail to back up your actual claims.
I don't know how I feel about spanking as a whole, as I don't have any children, and there may be some ocassions where it's appropriate.
I'm being very honest and vulnerable in saying this, but I do consider myself to be an adult child of a dysfunctional family. I couldn't agree more with your statement that, "you don't need to make children fear you"! I can't think of anyone I fear for whom I have even an ounce of respect! I naturally resent those people who instill fear in me.
If I were in a burning building and there was a person I feared on one end and someone I loved on the other I think I would instinctively save the one I loved!
--
charli.m
9 years ago
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Yup. I'm not saying that anyone who smacks their kids is evil (contrary to what some contrary people assume) but that it should not be the go to option. More often than not, when I've seen someone smack their kid, it has been because they have lost control of the situation and of themselves. They're human. Everyone has a breaking point. But to say that the best way to deal with children is to use physical punishment (actual or threats of) and to say that as if it is good general advice, to me indicates that person is not in control and has a severe lack of actual parenting skills.
It wasn't judgement. I was paraphrasing and quoting information from the American Psychological Association's website.
It's just my preference, but I prefer the conclusions of research-based evidence to the anecdotal rantings of a dysfunctional parent.