Well... that makes sense, and I get it to some degree, but I don't really understand how you wouldn't just see them as whatever they looked / acted like. Or just as a person first, and their gender / gender traits as unimportantly secondary.
I just don't understand the steadfast clinging to the notion that their birth gender MUST be "what" they are. Unless it's a matter of sticking by the principles of science, from a logical standpoint. That I would understand.
But you said "mentally, spiritually, and internally" and that just utterly blows my mind.
Especially "internally"! You have zero idea what it's like for them internally, so it's confusing how you would sit there and think "They're probably a man, deep down inside".
Like, you'll treat them as the gender they choose to represent, but you don't buy into a single ounce of it? (mentally, spiritually, and internally is pretty all-encompassing) So... what happens if they ask you how you think about them? Is it really "respect" if you treat them nice, but don't believe anything about their gender identity is correct?
I'm not trying to be overly argumentative or defensive here, (I know I have been) so I apologize... but I'm really curious as to why you look at it the way you do, because it's different than the way I do, and I find that curious and think that if I understood it, I'd have grown some.
You're right when you say that I don't comprehend Transexuality, but you know what? Just because I can't stomach an idea it doesn't mean I have to act upon that.
I can see where you're confused. You're saying that I respect them but don't acknowledge their gender identity, and this is true. I don't acknowledge their gender identity because it's something that I don't understand too well. You can't blame people for reacting this way with something that is really unusual to them. It's just human nature.
I'm not going to be able to explain myself too well on the subject matter, but all I can tell you is that even though this kind of thing is really strange to me, I don't let it get to my head because it's not in the best interests for me and my friends.
I suppose that makes sense. It's hard with no real reference point to understand something that happens to an incredibly small percentage of the population and only in recent years has become openly talked about in our society.
The fact that my parents basically never heard of it, outside of drag queens and other things that aren't really similar, and my younger cousins and their generation almost all know at least one person directly or indirectly who is transgendered, is truly uplifting though.
I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you approach it, really. Perhaps it might be worth it to ask those friends some questions to help understand it a little more, though?
Me and my friends have actually talked about it in-depth many times, but we stopped at a certain point because we felt it was just more drama then needed. They tell me that they strongly feel that even though they we're born a man/woman, that they felt they we're in the wrong body and such.
I don't think it's wrong to be a Transexual honestly. If it's something you feel strongly about, and if you have faith in your vision, and if it doesn't harm other people, then I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't think I'll ever be able to comprehend Transexuality and the desire to be one because I'm not Transexual.
Do you consider a post OP tranny a woman?
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I have 5 friends who are transgendered.
And no, I treat them however they view themselves as. If they see themselves as a man/woman, that's exactly how I'll approach them as.
Just because I see it differently then they do it doesn't mean I'll put that view into action.
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PumpkinKate
11 years ago
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So it's more like patronizing them for the sake of saving face?
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ItDuzzy
11 years ago
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I don't patronize them. It's just a matter of respecting people's belief system.
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PumpkinKate
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Well... that makes sense, and I get it to some degree, but I don't really understand how you wouldn't just see them as whatever they looked / acted like. Or just as a person first, and their gender / gender traits as unimportantly secondary.
I just don't understand the steadfast clinging to the notion that their birth gender MUST be "what" they are. Unless it's a matter of sticking by the principles of science, from a logical standpoint. That I would understand.
But you said "mentally, spiritually, and internally" and that just utterly blows my mind.
Especially "internally"! You have zero idea what it's like for them internally, so it's confusing how you would sit there and think "They're probably a man, deep down inside".
Like, you'll treat them as the gender they choose to represent, but you don't buy into a single ounce of it? (mentally, spiritually, and internally is pretty all-encompassing) So... what happens if they ask you how you think about them? Is it really "respect" if you treat them nice, but don't believe anything about their gender identity is correct?
I'm not trying to be overly argumentative or defensive here, (I know I have been) so I apologize... but I'm really curious as to why you look at it the way you do, because it's different than the way I do, and I find that curious and think that if I understood it, I'd have grown some.
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ItDuzzy
11 years ago
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You're right when you say that I don't comprehend Transexuality, but you know what? Just because I can't stomach an idea it doesn't mean I have to act upon that.
I can see where you're confused. You're saying that I respect them but don't acknowledge their gender identity, and this is true. I don't acknowledge their gender identity because it's something that I don't understand too well. You can't blame people for reacting this way with something that is really unusual to them. It's just human nature.
I'm not going to be able to explain myself too well on the subject matter, but all I can tell you is that even though this kind of thing is really strange to me, I don't let it get to my head because it's not in the best interests for me and my friends.
You don't have to apologize, it's fine.
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PumpkinKate
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I suppose that makes sense. It's hard with no real reference point to understand something that happens to an incredibly small percentage of the population and only in recent years has become openly talked about in our society.
The fact that my parents basically never heard of it, outside of drag queens and other things that aren't really similar, and my younger cousins and their generation almost all know at least one person directly or indirectly who is transgendered, is truly uplifting though.
I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you approach it, really. Perhaps it might be worth it to ask those friends some questions to help understand it a little more, though?
--
ItDuzzy
11 years ago
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Me and my friends have actually talked about it in-depth many times, but we stopped at a certain point because we felt it was just more drama then needed. They tell me that they strongly feel that even though they we're born a man/woman, that they felt they we're in the wrong body and such.
I don't think it's wrong to be a Transexual honestly. If it's something you feel strongly about, and if you have faith in your vision, and if it doesn't harm other people, then I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't think I'll ever be able to comprehend Transexuality and the desire to be one because I'm not Transexual.