I think [s]he should master being female before [s]he has the surgery. [S]He has changed her name, taken hormones, and grown her hair long, but she still looks and acts VERY masculine. I know it's a process, but I don't think [s]he makes enough of an effort to BE female, or maybe [s]he doesn't understand what being a woman really is.
I think it would depend on the individual and how feminine they are, and not so much whether they have a penis or not.
I'm not! Do I really sound like that all the time? I guess I should be more careful with my tone. It's bizarre because I'm rather soft-spoken and collected in real life. Read what I write in a calm, sexy voice. That's me.
Oh. I'm sorry. :)
Re-reading.... [in a calm, sexy voice]
So, to explain this, I have to (begrudgingly) admit that I participate in many parts of gender-culture that I don't necessarily agree with because they are constructs imposed on me by my society that are somewhat sexist in nature.
I sit with my knees together in public without even being conscious of it. I keep my nails trimmed, filed, and buffed even though I don't wear polish. My hair is very long and requires extra care to look healthy and goddess-like, but it's worth the effort. I wear floral perfume daily. I wear a bit of makeup if I go out of the house. I wear lacey things and dresses. I walk with a sway of my hips because I have a woman's pelvis. I like pretty things that have no purpose other than being pretty. And it's always been acceptable for me to gush over babies and cute animals. I giggle quite a bit too.
I bend the rules sometimes though. I can weld (MIG, TIG, Flux-cored, Stick) vertically, horizontally, and overhead. I can change the oil in my car. I know the basics of carpentry and have my own tool-belt. I have my own steel-toed boots. I love dirty jokes. I am very resourceful (like MacGyver sort of resourceful) and independent.
Like so many other things in life, there is so much grey area that pretty much anyone can be or call themselves whatever they want and it is supposed to be acceptable (like BoredGuy who wants us to call him God). My relative wants to be called a woman, wants to BE a woman. Part of the psychological requirements for the bottom-surgery is that she must show that she has already become a woman on the outside. She has been turned down for the surgery because she didn't meet those requirements, among other things. Putting on a dress, some lipstick, and a pair of heels in your spare time doesn't make you a woman. I think you have to live as a woman every waking moment to be a woman.
I guess what I was asking was whether feminine = female. If a woman acts masculine, are they still female? Is the reason for you being female really just your societally imposed tendencies? Or is it just what's between your legs? Or is it just your genome sequence? I don't really know the answer. Which is interesting in itself, the idea that we can use such terms so often and not really have a concrete idea of what they actually mean.
Yes. Like if a woman loses her breasts to cancer, is she less of a woman? Or a woman who is barren and will never grow a child inside of her. But those women always started out in life as females. She grew up with a vagina and had her family and other loved ones condition her to become a female in the customs of their society. How would you be female without experiencing all of that? An operation won't make you female, you have to be female and think like a female.
BTW, I'm 36 years old. (You asked.) And I've been a female since I was in utero.
Do you consider a post OP tranny a woman?
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I have a male relative who wants bottom surgery.
I think [s]he should master being female before [s]he has the surgery. [S]He has changed her name, taken hormones, and grown her hair long, but she still looks and acts VERY masculine. I know it's a process, but I don't think [s]he makes enough of an effort to BE female, or maybe [s]he doesn't understand what being a woman really is.
I think it would depend on the individual and how feminine they are, and not so much whether they have a penis or not.
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taciturn
11 years ago
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"I don't think [s]he makes enough of an effort to BE female, or maybe [s]he doesn't understand what being a woman really is."
I don't really understand that. What effort needs to be made? What DOES it mean to really be a woman?
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equanimity
11 years ago
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I'm sure you do know, but I think you're trying to patronize me.
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taciturn
11 years ago
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I'm not! Do I really sound like that all the time? I guess I should be more careful with my tone. It's bizarre because I'm rather soft-spoken and collected in real life. Read what I write in a calm, sexy voice. That's me.
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equanimity
11 years ago
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equanimity
11 years ago
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You should watch the movie Tootsie (1982) starring Dustin Hoffman. Classic.
Oh. I'm sorry. :)
Re-reading.... [in a calm, sexy voice]
So, to explain this, I have to (begrudgingly) admit that I participate in many parts of gender-culture that I don't necessarily agree with because they are constructs imposed on me by my society that are somewhat sexist in nature.
I sit with my knees together in public without even being conscious of it. I keep my nails trimmed, filed, and buffed even though I don't wear polish. My hair is very long and requires extra care to look healthy and goddess-like, but it's worth the effort. I wear floral perfume daily. I wear a bit of makeup if I go out of the house. I wear lacey things and dresses. I walk with a sway of my hips because I have a woman's pelvis. I like pretty things that have no purpose other than being pretty. And it's always been acceptable for me to gush over babies and cute animals. I giggle quite a bit too.
I bend the rules sometimes though. I can weld (MIG, TIG, Flux-cored, Stick) vertically, horizontally, and overhead. I can change the oil in my car. I know the basics of carpentry and have my own tool-belt. I have my own steel-toed boots. I love dirty jokes. I am very resourceful (like MacGyver sort of resourceful) and independent.
Like so many other things in life, there is so much grey area that pretty much anyone can be or call themselves whatever they want and it is supposed to be acceptable (like BoredGuy who wants us to call him God). My relative wants to be called a woman, wants to BE a woman. Part of the psychological requirements for the bottom-surgery is that she must show that she has already become a woman on the outside. She has been turned down for the surgery because she didn't meet those requirements, among other things. Putting on a dress, some lipstick, and a pair of heels in your spare time doesn't make you a woman. I think you have to live as a woman every waking moment to be a woman.
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taciturn
11 years ago
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I guess what I was asking was whether feminine = female. If a woman acts masculine, are they still female? Is the reason for you being female really just your societally imposed tendencies? Or is it just what's between your legs? Or is it just your genome sequence? I don't really know the answer. Which is interesting in itself, the idea that we can use such terms so often and not really have a concrete idea of what they actually mean.
--
equanimity
11 years ago
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SassyFrassyLassie_old
11 years ago
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I don't know the answer either. I'm suspecting it has more to do with social norms though.
I know too many people who fit into none of the traditional classifications of gender, sex, and sexual preferences.
Yes. Like if a woman loses her breasts to cancer, is she less of a woman? Or a woman who is barren and will never grow a child inside of her. But those women always started out in life as females. She grew up with a vagina and had her family and other loved ones condition her to become a female in the customs of their society. How would you be female without experiencing all of that? An operation won't make you female, you have to be female and think like a female.
BTW, I'm 36 years old. (You asked.) And I've been a female since I was in utero.