Do you believe people should sleep around b4 a committed relationship?

14 Comments

You may have heard this a lot. It may even be a cliche topic

But do you believe people, especially in college, need to sleep around to not only get it out of their system, but also help them learn their sex compatibility and what they like or dont like?

I am a guy with that thinks "no." Sure I have only had one sexual relationship where the girl, inspite of being with plenty of men, was tame during sex. That didnt bother me. I am patient and didnt mind telling her what were my buttons and preferences were. Or telling her what to do as opposed to just lying there

I am open minded, athletic, creative and enthusiastic in whatever I do. And also a good conversationalist. So I have confidence (maybe a misconception) that no matter what kind of chick I ended up with, as long as I loved her emotionally, I could engineer any situation (even if an inadequacy on my part) to be as desired. Plus if I loved her I doubt the sex part would feel "incompatible." But I second guess myself because I know Im not saying this from experience of being with many women. So whenever people mention this topic it unsettles me. And I wonder if I am wrong.

If you answered yes, what are your reasons? What kind of issues or "mismatch" scenarous does this help resolve? Even if you answered no, please feel free to elaborate too

Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 14 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago | pl

    "Should" you? No, can you? Yes, might some prefer it? Yes. Might some dislike it? Yes.

    Personally, if I was ever to accept a proposal to be in a relationship, I wouldn't prefer someone that has had numerous partners, it just makes it, I don't know...Weird, and I suppose it would make it less unique. I am sure some women feel the same about men.

    I have no problem with someone doing it, however it's not for me.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    7
    7
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago | pl

      Amen

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      Report
      0
      0
  • Mr-Myrtos
    9 years ago | pl

    All guys I know who did not go a little bit around before getting married son or latter they did it during their relationship. All of them with no exception. Some fulled around only with one or two women but most with many more.
    Especially between 28 and 30 many years old and many times already with kids.
    Things one does't do wile young and free they will be done during marriage.
    Even if many people do not want to accept this a fact coz they live with the romantic idea of a faithful wedding is bloody true. Just listen what people does and the cause of so many divorces.
    I always say men should never married before 40 some years old and women if they want a quiet life they must be clever not marry men before that age.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    1
    1
  • peecock
    9 years ago | pl

    live ur life and keep ur limited ideas to urself u boring fuck!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • Mat4Mat
    9 years ago | pl

    Tell you what!... go and fuck a lot of people, till you find the one who didn't make you come up with words like "engineer" "inadequacy" "incompatible".
    Then propose, you sound more like one of those precocious kids who say things like "my whole life" at the age of 17!
    You are spending too much time on the internet!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago | pl

      I am 25 but LOL. I would have never guessed my vocabulary would be used against me. And those words were average at best. I got a kick+smile out of your post. Thanks

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      Report
      0
      0
  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago | pl

    That's like saying ur favorite food is pizza when that's the only thing you've ever tried or eaten. But on the other side of the same coin, you don't know what you're missing if you've never had it. So thusly said, you're missing out. Humans are mammals, mammals are animals. We evolved our physical desires before our emotional ones, it's why they're called 'baser instincts'. I thinks it's 100% normal for people to want to sleep around a bit before getting committed to one person. It blows my mind that people who are virgins, also wait till marriage to have sex. I'm one of those guys that thinks if your spouse expects you to be monogamous and faithful, they better be meeting every single one of ur sexual desires and needs, otherwise I get them met elsewhere.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • kelseyt
    9 years ago | pl

    I think people should do whatever is comfortable for them. No one can make that decision for you, sorry.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • Sog
    9 years ago | pl

    I don't think it's healthy to go out and seek lot's of one-nighters with random women. It's not healthy physically because you can spread around disease, and it's not healthy emotionally because you're cutting yourself off from any kind of meaningful relationship.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • hauntedbysandwiches
    9 years ago | pl

    No.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • zoffix
    9 years ago | pl

    I think it's good to sleep around because every woman (and man, I guess) is different in bed.

    So, to my mind, another way to ask this question is: "Do you believe people should try many different flavours of ice-cream before committing to eating vanilla only"?

    There's no good way to answer it. The person might try a whole bunch of different flavours and be repulsed by them. Even if not, they might decide to settle on vanilla anyway. And lastly, they might decide they like peach flavour more.

    But in the end, I think, it's better to have tried several different flavours, so that once you've settled on vanilla, you never get any thoughts about what peach flavour tastes like.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago | pl

      What if the reason you can't settle on vanilla ice cream, is because you've conditioned your mind to have all those different flavors? So that after you've settled on vanilla, your mind still wants to go back to the peach flavor, or the new mint chocolate chip?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      Report
      0
      0
        -
      • zoffix
        9 years ago | pl

        Then I wouldn't settle on vanilla. I'd go and have all those different flavours, because that's the real me.

        And if I hadn't slept around—haven't tried all those flavours—I wouldn't know that I best not bother settling, as it would likely not make me happy.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        Report
        0
        0
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago | pl

    Sex, like anything else takes experience to gain proficiency. It is not something that we humans have a natural "talent" for, like music or sports. It is also something that does not require much emotional involvement to be enjoyable.
    If you do not have a variety of partners before you marry (or enter a committed relationship), you will not be a very good lover and there will be little chance you will be able to pleasure your loved one, especially if she is as experienced as you or less so. Nothing begins a marriage on worse footing that two inexperienced lovers fumbling around on their wedding night.
    The other factor in entering a committed relationship or marriage as an inexperienced lover, is that a natural curiosity about what it would be like to have sex with others. This has been the demise of more good marriages than any other reason, I would guess.
    There are zero pluses in entering a life long commitment as a virgin or inexperienced lover.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    -2
    -2