Okay I know this is long but please hear me out. I am starting to believe that my close friends, co-workers, and family know my thoughts and actions.
Am I in a television program? Am I a live example of a tested human life? Is there a chip in my brain? Or am I actually going crazy??
I live in a house close to a child development medical facility where I feel like I am being cared for and monitored by friends and people. I have a family friend who lives around here and I saw her the day after I got out of jail in the Hospital. And she works at a hospital and I hadn't seen her for 6 years. I think one of my roommates is a real doctor who writes down logs about my progress. His in-game name is actually Doctor Who. I can't believe how connected things are. I need some help please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I talked to my boss and he said that Marijuana is good and that religion manipulates. "Let it go" and "Carpe Diem" he says about my past problems.
When I went to get professional help, it seemed like they were expecting me.
I've never met someone who has hated me. I am very well liked. Girls have an affection for me IDK maybe because I am Mexican with blue eyes but that is not the point. One time a friend told me how awesome I am because I am one of the few people that ever talked to her at school when she first started and she is EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL!? Another friend of mine, spent the night but we hardly ever talked that night.
I'm not addicted to anything now but I've smoked for a good yr and before that I was super religious.
My ex roommate who recently moved out told me to only say things ONE TIME? WTF does that even mean? I even overheard him say that he has a friend from 3 hrs away that has heard about me and my situation I assume.
People has said to me many times that I'm far too gone. I think they are talking about a mental spiritual sense and that I am not too in tune with my thoughts and I don't say the first thing that comes to mind. I only try to say clever things.
Everytime I would send messages to somebody through text or Facebook, my roommates would talk to me about it or I would hear guests laugh and talk. WTF?
I grew up traumatized plenty times. I've witnessed my dad beating my mom when I was 4. I'm the 3rd child of 8 children. My mother and I were pretty close. We watched scary movies together and did puzzles. I was her favorite boy. When I was 9, I was forced by my older brother to play around with another boy sexually for a Lion King float. I was molested by my aunt when I was 14 when my parents were going through a divorce. I was told by some strange woman in Mexico if I was her son, she would lock me in a cage so everyone could see me. My mother left us and she was mentally ill. My dad and I never had a solid father son relationship. We moved as a family around 5-11 times. When I was in highschool and played basketball or did wrestleing, my father never came to watch me only when I did choir or track with my older brother. I only have started to have good personal conversations with him about life when I was 22 and now it is better but not as smooth as a traditional type that is close.
My relationships with women always ended up badly because I didn't trust them enough with my emotions.
I get scared easily especially if someone is behind me I start to get nervous or jumpy. I am okay with talking to people especially small chat but I shy away or break off when there are more than 2 or 3 people that join the conversation. I easily can sense when a person looks at me even from across the room. Everytime I catch them. Is that unusual???
I feel trapped and I was extremely paranoid to the extent that I felt like I could do anything and I ended up in Jail for 20 hrs but for the wrong reasons. I wasn't accused of Grand theft auto and being on drugs like I should have been. While I was being arrested, I was surrounded by 6 police and they had the look of normality to me even when I tried resisting arrest. I observed how they knew my actions very well. I saw old friends when I was being arrested and sent to jail. The police woman even changed the station of the radio when I asked her to, it was weird because I said to her in my mind that I wanted it changed! There were 2 lines of officers and they took very good care of me there. I was being booked in a cell where this guy talked to me about the Universe because he knew I needed his help understanding myself in the world. It is like everyone has some type of understanding of me. It is very hard for me to carry personal conversations with people about feelings and my life choices. I feel like everyone at work knows who I really am as well as my friends without me saying a word to them about most of my life history.
I feel broken and I can't be myself around others. Am I going insane?
Yo can I email you? I have the same exact feelings you have. I'm great one on one but with a group I start going crazy... I think we can help each other out
Do people know what I'm thinking? IIN?
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Okay I know this is long but please hear me out. I am starting to believe that my close friends, co-workers, and family know my thoughts and actions.
Am I in a television program? Am I a live example of a tested human life? Is there a chip in my brain? Or am I actually going crazy??
I live in a house close to a child development medical facility where I feel like I am being cared for and monitored by friends and people. I have a family friend who lives around here and I saw her the day after I got out of jail in the Hospital. And she works at a hospital and I hadn't seen her for 6 years. I think one of my roommates is a real doctor who writes down logs about my progress. His in-game name is actually Doctor Who. I can't believe how connected things are. I need some help please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I talked to my boss and he said that Marijuana is good and that religion manipulates. "Let it go" and "Carpe Diem" he says about my past problems.
When I went to get professional help, it seemed like they were expecting me.
I've never met someone who has hated me. I am very well liked. Girls have an affection for me IDK maybe because I am Mexican with blue eyes but that is not the point. One time a friend told me how awesome I am because I am one of the few people that ever talked to her at school when she first started and she is EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL!? Another friend of mine, spent the night but we hardly ever talked that night.
I'm not addicted to anything now but I've smoked for a good yr and before that I was super religious.
My ex roommate who recently moved out told me to only say things ONE TIME? WTF does that even mean? I even overheard him say that he has a friend from 3 hrs away that has heard about me and my situation I assume.
People has said to me many times that I'm far too gone. I think they are talking about a mental spiritual sense and that I am not too in tune with my thoughts and I don't say the first thing that comes to mind. I only try to say clever things.
Everytime I would send messages to somebody through text or Facebook, my roommates would talk to me about it or I would hear guests laugh and talk. WTF?
I grew up traumatized plenty times. I've witnessed my dad beating my mom when I was 4. I'm the 3rd child of 8 children. My mother and I were pretty close. We watched scary movies together and did puzzles. I was her favorite boy. When I was 9, I was forced by my older brother to play around with another boy sexually for a Lion King float. I was molested by my aunt when I was 14 when my parents were going through a divorce. I was told by some strange woman in Mexico if I was her son, she would lock me in a cage so everyone could see me. My mother left us and she was mentally ill. My dad and I never had a solid father son relationship. We moved as a family around 5-11 times. When I was in highschool and played basketball or did wrestleing, my father never came to watch me only when I did choir or track with my older brother. I only have started to have good personal conversations with him about life when I was 22 and now it is better but not as smooth as a traditional type that is close.
My relationships with women always ended up badly because I didn't trust them enough with my emotions.
I get scared easily especially if someone is behind me I start to get nervous or jumpy. I am okay with talking to people especially small chat but I shy away or break off when there are more than 2 or 3 people that join the conversation. I easily can sense when a person looks at me even from across the room. Everytime I catch them. Is that unusual???
I feel trapped and I was extremely paranoid to the extent that I felt like I could do anything and I ended up in Jail for 20 hrs but for the wrong reasons. I wasn't accused of Grand theft auto and being on drugs like I should have been. While I was being arrested, I was surrounded by 6 police and they had the look of normality to me even when I tried resisting arrest. I observed how they knew my actions very well. I saw old friends when I was being arrested and sent to jail. The police woman even changed the station of the radio when I asked her to, it was weird because I said to her in my mind that I wanted it changed! There were 2 lines of officers and they took very good care of me there. I was being booked in a cell where this guy talked to me about the Universe because he knew I needed his help understanding myself in the world. It is like everyone has some type of understanding of me. It is very hard for me to carry personal conversations with people about feelings and my life choices. I feel like everyone at work knows who I really am as well as my friends without me saying a word to them about most of my life history.
I feel broken and I can't be myself around others. Am I going insane?
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InfamousMata22
5 years ago
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Yo can I email you? I have the same exact feelings you have. I'm great one on one but with a group I start going crazy... I think we can help each other out