Do i have ptsd or ?

So my mom had cancer and was dying slowly as cancer does. I’m the only child, sorta an introvert/socially awkward.

She died which I thought I was as prepared for as possible I knew it was coming, it was obvious but it didn’t happen like deaths I’ve dealt with before with elderly or sick who either die in the hospital or in bed….

I was visiting her on cinco de mayo i Washed her hair, made her food, chatting with her watching TV and then out of no where She had some sort of aneurism and literally bleed out choking on her blood and just died within minutes on the floor, it’s been 8 years and I still see it. It’s debilitating.

I’m sad she’s gone and miss her but the main problem is seeing her die over and over again.

I’ve heard of ptsd for military and law enforcement but feel bad even trying to compare as they I’m sure have been through so much “worse”

Is this PTSD? Will it end? I’m uninsured and feeling like I just want this to stop. I’m so sick of it popping up and making me have to pull over from driving, hide in public bathroom stalls, hide from people, etc.

Any advice?

Thanks :(

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  • Yes, you have PTSD. I have it too. You say you're uninsured but have you ever tried applying for Medicaid? Medicaid covers outpatient mental health care.
    Also, some therapists offer sliding scale fees to those who are uninsured or even financial assistance.
    My therapist, for PTSD, does some things called grounding techniques. These help. Here is a link to common ones:

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  • I have nothing to add but wanted to say I am sorry for your loss. I hope you find a way to work through your trauma.

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  • The 5,4,3,2,1 method works well for me. Try it when youv get those distressing memories.

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  • It's not just combat veterans, and victims of rape, or sexual assault who get PTSD.

    I'm pretty sure my dad has PTSD from some of the stuff he saw in Vietnam, but now I'm also relatively sure my mom has PTSD from things she experienced growing up in Colombia during la Violencia.

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  • I believe you do have PTSD. There is often pro bono grief counseling in a lot of communities. I would search for that in your area, it can help immensely.

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