Do i have a wall up without realising it ?

2 years ago I was rejected by the love of my life. Ever since that I don't feel the same. I feel empty and a longing of wishing it were different. Literally hundreds of people say the same old boring crap "Move on, time heals, plenty fish in the sea...blah blah blah"
It's not that simple, it may be for some people easier but for me it was all or nothing. I have given it plenty of time, I have met plenty of different people. I like my life but I don'tlike how I feel no connection for anyone. I don't feel that fuzzy warmth and excitement when she was coming over to see me. I don't want anyone else but at the same time I know I have to let go. I have a great guy friend who's interested in me and I just don't feel anything. No one excites me. I'm in different but I dont know if I have a wall up or I'm just asexual and she was an exception. I never really had sexual desires or feelings but I could easily have done stuff with her cause I loved her.

Do I have physiological problems in my subconscious cause of her ? I developed extra social anxiety ever since that situation tbh. I think I have a wall up without realising but I don't know??

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Comments ( 6 )
  • Extrasauce

    Surely I know how much it hurts, it took me so much time to get over the strong and true feelings that I had for a girl I really loved, and thought that I would never ever have such feeling for someone else. Don't make the same mistake as me, during 4 years I was actually down and didn't lived my life fully as I should. DON'T MAKE IT A DRAM as you would only hurt yourself. Hang out with friends, get to know other person, its better. Keep on smiling and enjoy yourself. Remember that people will always move towards new friends that are shining and not down.
    U should know that the course for true love did never run smooth and for now what is important is not love but your career/studies. Love can still wait no worry ;). U need emotional support, surely close friends can provide it. Learn to become emotionally strong and independent, because believe me life really sucks... I actually met someone else whom I loved more than my first love, but the relationship does not seem to hold and I don't feel its two-way, but so what! Just get over it, stop hurting yourself, I'm sure I'll definitely meet the One who will love me like I would love her, it just requires patience ;). Hope my story would help those reading it.

    -lee9999

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  • louminis

    Sounds like a rejection hurt you more than it should. Do you find yourself still loving her? Maybe it would be better if you tried to ask her again. If she's off limit (like married) try to appreciate she's happy and if she's not help her. This should make you feel better.

    If you don't think you are in love with her anymore you don't necessarily need to hook up with someone else now. Just give it some more time and back off human relationships to realize your sexual intentions too. Have a hobby that you love and throw mind and heart into it until you feel ready to love again. That day may never come and that's okay. You can have a perfectly fulfilling life without sex.

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    • lordofopinions

      You can? :)

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      • yup

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        • lordofopinions

          Maybe YOU can. :)

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          • you certainly can

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