Do guys actually measure their dicks?

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  • Yep - usually when we're all stood in a line at the urinals in public toilets.

    Every man has a special pocket penis ruler, handed down to him by his father. When all the girls go off to the bathroom together to do their make-up, snort coke and gossip, men go to the bathroom to measure their penises.

    For he who has the biggest, there's an unspoken rule that he gets to slap the guy with the smallest in the face with his massive trouser snake.

    It's fine as long as you say No Homo.

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