It sounds like you two need to put some time and effort into learning how to communicate and negotiate like two adults.
It also sounds like you both need to learn to accept that you're two individuals with different priorities and needs, and sometimes the best thing for the relationship is to just let the fundamentally trivial stuff slide.
My wife is - to put it charitably - indifferent about housekeeping, while one of the lingering effects of nearly a decade in the Navy many years ago is that I'm much neater and more organised. I realised soon after we got together that I could either get constantly wound-up over her slovenly ways, or I could learn to accept them, keep the parts of the house that are exclusively mine (like the workshop) neat to my standards, and take it upon myself to tidy the shared parts of the house when it reaches a state that I can't accept.
It's not a fair division of labour, but some things just aren't worth fighting over.
Do female led relationships actually exist
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It sounds like you two need to put some time and effort into learning how to communicate and negotiate like two adults.
It also sounds like you both need to learn to accept that you're two individuals with different priorities and needs, and sometimes the best thing for the relationship is to just let the fundamentally trivial stuff slide.
My wife is - to put it charitably - indifferent about housekeeping, while one of the lingering effects of nearly a decade in the Navy many years ago is that I'm much neater and more organised. I realised soon after we got together that I could either get constantly wound-up over her slovenly ways, or I could learn to accept them, keep the parts of the house that are exclusively mine (like the workshop) neat to my standards, and take it upon myself to tidy the shared parts of the house when it reaches a state that I can't accept.
It's not a fair division of labour, but some things just aren't worth fighting over.