female led..?
you should both communicate about decisions and come to agreements. relationships shouldnt be about control, but rather understanding and cooperation.
am i misunderstanding the post?
It’s not about excluding him from making decisions. I value his opinions and want him to be happy. But so often we bicker over stupid stuff which leads to bigger arguments and then 9 times out of 10 we do what I said in the first place. Things like what colour to decorate the living room, what films to see, what restaurant to go to and most often his contribution to the housework. We both work full time yet if he had his way I would do about 95% of the housework, as it is I nag him and still end up doing about 70%. I think if I was more formally in charge he would have to help more and we would avoid escalating silly disagreements
It sounds like you two need to put some time and effort into learning how to communicate and negotiate like two adults.
It also sounds like you both need to learn to accept that you're two individuals with different priorities and needs, and sometimes the best thing for the relationship is to just let the fundamentally trivial stuff slide.
My wife is - to put it charitably - indifferent about housekeeping, while one of the lingering effects of nearly a decade in the Navy many years ago is that I'm much neater and more organised. I realised soon after we got together that I could either get constantly wound-up over her slovenly ways, or I could learn to accept them, keep the parts of the house that are exclusively mine (like the workshop) neat to my standards, and take it upon myself to tidy the shared parts of the house when it reaches a state that I can't accept.
It's not a fair division of labour, but some things just aren't worth fighting over.
Do female led relationships actually exist
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female led..?
you should both communicate about decisions and come to agreements. relationships shouldnt be about control, but rather understanding and cooperation.
am i misunderstanding the post?
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Anonymous Post Author
3 years ago
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It’s not about excluding him from making decisions. I value his opinions and want him to be happy. But so often we bicker over stupid stuff which leads to bigger arguments and then 9 times out of 10 we do what I said in the first place. Things like what colour to decorate the living room, what films to see, what restaurant to go to and most often his contribution to the housework. We both work full time yet if he had his way I would do about 95% of the housework, as it is I nag him and still end up doing about 70%. I think if I was more formally in charge he would have to help more and we would avoid escalating silly disagreements
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Boojum
3 years ago
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It sounds like you two need to put some time and effort into learning how to communicate and negotiate like two adults.
It also sounds like you both need to learn to accept that you're two individuals with different priorities and needs, and sometimes the best thing for the relationship is to just let the fundamentally trivial stuff slide.
My wife is - to put it charitably - indifferent about housekeeping, while one of the lingering effects of nearly a decade in the Navy many years ago is that I'm much neater and more organised. I realised soon after we got together that I could either get constantly wound-up over her slovenly ways, or I could learn to accept them, keep the parts of the house that are exclusively mine (like the workshop) neat to my standards, and take it upon myself to tidy the shared parts of the house when it reaches a state that I can't accept.
It's not a fair division of labour, but some things just aren't worth fighting over.