Disclosing sexual partners

I do not think it is normal, normal means that it is done by the majority of people. My opinion is it is only done by immature people who have not learned about trust. What you or who you in this case did in the past is not anyones business but yours and the person you were with unless you choose for it to be. You are responsible for your health and your CURRENT status in regards to std's, not if you had them or a past partner had them. IN fact that would be a breach of your past partners medical privacy which in our country is considered sacred. If you love her and trust her then why would you even want to know, what if she was the horniest slut off high school an now she isn't? Do you really want to ruin your relationship, it will. I had to grow out or that petty kind of possessivness and I feel that it is the first step towards trying to control something that you shouldn't be controlling such as someones past. It will not change whether you know about it or not it will be the same. What will not be the same is her respect for you, she will lose quite a bit for your lack of strength and insecurity. The other issue I have with it is our wonderful double standard. I freely admit I was. ok am a complete slut but as a man I get to be a stud, as a woman if they said that they would be shunned by many and approached by asses who don't reaize that being a slut doesn't mean it has to be with multiple people. I love my slut :-) she is horny and wants me all the time and she is such a slut I love her to death. OH and some of the things she does that I'm sure someone in her past taught her....I have no wish to know who but I do wish her to keep doing it to me!!! I'm just saying

I said normal... but I don't think its wise. While you may want to know, and she may want to be honest... it probably isn't a good idea. Lol Seriously, no one wants to be judged and that's usually the reason behind her being secretive. I've only experienced my current bf asking this question. I felt like my number was high.. not that I was embarrased or ashamed... but sometimes (depending on ur upbringing and other things) shit happens lol.

I lost my virginity at 15... peer pressure was a big part of it. And at that age I didn't value my body, didn't know what it meant to share my body with a guy... and then as I got older I still didn't get it... I wasn't "loose", I didn't have sex with everyone I dated... but there were times that I really didn't have a relationship with that person, it just felt right. But a month or two later we weren't dating anymore... happens to ppl all the time. Its not a one night stand, but who wants to keep adding notches to their belt with no meaning/feelings...

When asked about the number of ppl I've been with I was offended and didn't answer for a long time... although I have answered him since... I needed him to know that I didn't want to be judged for things done in the past and if the number of partners had any influence on our relationship id rather be single. I never asked him, because it isn't important.

What's important is that I've never had a STD *
Knock on wood* and he and I get tested together twice a yr. I'm only sleeping with him and I expect the same. I mean, when you find out her number, what will you do with the information?

Everyone has a past. If she lied how would you ever know? Just asking...

This is Mr Bands. The Mrs and I have discussed our previous lovers/experiences over time and have enjoyed learning about them. If your reasons for wanting to know are not based in jealousy or distrust, she may be willing to open up. Our sharing is based on an interest in knowing how our past has shaped our present and relationship together.

You should never want more than the other is willing to give.

She was a slut. Modern "standards" as if there were any, are a goddamn joke. I am soooo happy to have found a beautiful virgin (non-Christian) wife. I couldn't stand knowing some other guy plowed my wife. I have slept with plenty of women who were not virgins but I would NEVER marry one.

WHO WANTS DAMAGED GOODS?

It used to be you expected your wife to be a virgin. That existed for a reason.

I don't want to stick my dick where some other guys cock has been when that woman is supposed to be mine. That's degrading.

Diode the slut. You can do better. Find a girl who had respect for herself (one who's dad payed attention to her or something).

I feel like when you know, your feelings will change and of course you wont like her anymore.
So just drop it and try experimenting with her to get better.

If she is dating you you have a right to know. i mean seriously std's, reputation, theres all sorts of things to consider

I think it's normal for guys to ask about girls' numbers but it's generally a bad idea to find out. I think the less you know about her sexual past, the better. You think you want to know..but do you really wana picture every sweaty dude that ever rolled off your lady? Probably not

I agree with the OP it is important and if she is not telling u the number is most likely high sorry but it probably is. The best indicator of future behavior is her past behavior I wouldn't dump her for not telling u. U sound like me I've dated girls who have been with a lot of guys and it sucks I much prefer to date someone who has few partners honestly now I always find out before I get invested in a girl and if she won't tell me I see that as indicative that she is secretive but since u are invested I would ask her in detail about how faithful she has been in previous relationships and if she won't even answer that then drop her

before you there is no one and after you there is no one

Its prolly alot of guys but seriously your playing with fire and your going to get burned. Pick and choose your battles

of course you have the right to know if you're in a serious relationship..

I think she is worried you might view her differently, or that her number may consume you to the point you can't get it out of your head. Just think for a second. How will it impact you to learn she's had over 20 partners? You won't be able to unlearn it.

I'd certainly want to know. I wouldn't marry her if she isn't comfortable talking about that. Communication is key to a long lasting relationship.

It's normal but if you guys are in love then the number your guys' past partners doesn't really matter. Don't focus on the past. Be happy you have someone you love and who loves you

Drop* ...paid*

when it can threaten your health sure be honest,These are things you will find as u go along that really dont matter. We all have paths we have taken to become who we are.I think it comes when u can find security in who u are and your self confidence matures.

All these other idiots telling you that the past is the past blah blah blah is something you should ignore.

If you didnt spend your past screwing every woman that you came across and being a man whore, then you have every right to want someone of the opposite sex who didnt spend every opportunity she had doing the same thing.

It would be different if you did that and still judged her on it but if you didnt then there is no reason NOT to expect and want someone who held themselves to the same standard.

Find out or get rid of her.

I know all about this, I can guarantee you she won't tell you because she's been gang banged over and over. Good for her

She doesnt want to let you know because she most likely was a huge closet whore in her past.

Its probably something you should press her on, nobody wants to date/marry the town whore, they just want to use her for what every other guy used her for and move on.

I think that the past is the past, she is obviously not interested in sharing it... Perhaps she feels some shame about her previous sexual partners and experiences?

Although, I do think it's important that you as a couple can talk about sexual history just concerning safety and STDs.

I guess you have to think to yourself how much do you really want to know? Don't you think you would just obsess over the details and use them to hurt yourself or your relationship?

Well, it really depends on a couples preference. My boyfriend knows all about my past sexual partners and such. It was hard to talk about, but I felt he should know. I can undertsand why she doesn't want to tell you though. No matter what, even her telling you about one guy she slept with wouldn't feel good to know. If it did happen to be quite a few men, how would you react then? Would you dump her, judge her, dig into memorys that hurt her to remember? I understand why you would want to know, but try to understand why she doesn't want to tell you. It doesn't change who she is as a person :)

Would you find it invasive if she asked you to detail your masturbatory history and practices? Would you comfortably describe what goes through your mind, what pictures you like to look at while you jerk off? That's none of her business for the same reason her sexual history is none of your business presuming you are both currently healthy. What you need to do is grow up and stop pestering her. It sounds like you find her history either titilating or ammunition to use against her in a future spat

Yes, it's normal, but also normal to not want to tell, especially if you're the jealous type or the kind who would use the information in an argument later.

I prefer to know the most general and basic details, who the major relationships were with, and those who made an impact, not every single one.