I answered that it is NOT normal, but, I have to preface that, and say not today.
But, decades ago, it was. And, there was nothing sexual about it. Even in Christ's day, you were stripped naked and whipped in the public square. The beating was not only more brutal physically, others who had to watch knew what they DIDN'T want to end up getting, so, it kept the people in line!
I was sometimes beaten by my Father. Usually, it was with an old leather belt, and, sometimes we had to pull down our pants, he'd hold us by our arm so we couldn't get away, other times, he just smacked is through the clothes we had on. As I got older, I did not want my sisters to see me with my pants down.
We used to go into the bathroom and compare what our butts looked like later, try to look in the mirror. I remember one particular beating, my sister said my butt looked like a blueberry muffin! And, it hurt even days later!
But, back then, schools would administer corporal punishment as well! Our principle even in elementary school kept a paddle that was visible in his office, and would make kids bend over, grab their ankles, on a few occasions, I got to overhear a friend getting it....there was no "holding back"....now, it was through their clothes, but, it still hurt!
My Dad used to keep the belt in plain view in the kitchen, hanging on the towel rack at all times. It was a constant visual reminder of what could come at any moment, and, as well, when you were going to get it (or someone was), you'd hear him coming through the kitchen and then hear the belt make a "snap" sound as it came off the towel holder. One day, the leather belt broke while he was using it on me. Until I was about 12, he'd just take off his belt, or, if he wasn't wearing one, he'd make me take my belt off.
Fast-forward to my kids, I used to spank them with my hand, open, and not hard, and NEVER on a bare ass, on the butt with clothes on. I did this from about age 4 or 5 until they were about 8. My wife on the other hand was never spanked as a child....she was punished, but, never spanked.
The reason I stopped spanking kids is, one day, I got into a heated argument with my Father about it...I think we were talking about the kids and bad stuff they did...he asked if I spanked my kids, which I admitted to. When he inquired as to how I did it, he scorned me for using my hand, and said that I should use a belt instead. I understood what he was saying, he was concerned that, as a large man, using a hand can hurt small bones if you are not in control of your anger at the moment, which, I always felt like I was in control. His comment was about how he purposefully used the belt on us kids and how we all grew up "just fine".
Well, I didn't agree. That was a mistake. But, my even bigger mistake was when he insisted on having me recall to him an exact circumstance where I felt he went "over-board" on us as kids...in hindsight, there is no wining in that argument. But, there were PLENTY of times he did, and, I couldn't resist in recalling one or two for him. I was told I was remembering it through the eyes of a child, which, may be true, but, I reminded him of things that happened as a teenager as well, about when he broke his hand attempting to hit my oldest sister in the face when she was 17, her natural reaction was to put her arm up in defense, his hand smacked her elbow. Again, no wining there. His response was "I learned to use a closed fist from that time forward". So many people don't know how to control their own emotions of anger, it is not easy to do!
That conversation ended poorly, I said a few things I later regretted and hung up the phone on him. We didn't talk for a while after that, I did finally apologize, but, I never brought the subject back up, basically told him, as much as I appreciated his concern, I wasn't going to debate this with him anymore, these were my kids, I'd raise them the way I wanted.
It was that argument that made me think long and hard about how I was raising my kids, and, more so, what I was teaching them as far as "acceptable" behavior for when they someday became someone's parent.
As well, this triggered my wife and I to have a long conversation about this. She expressed her displeasure with some of the physical ways I had handled punishment with the kids. It was good that we discussed it...because, I know that my Mom disagreed with what my Dad did when we were kids, but, never said much of anything to him about it. She would spank us too, it was rare for her to do so, and never with a belt, just an open hand, and, in comparison, it was like nothing.
But, the reality of it is, the child does not want to get spanked, no matter how you do it. Smacks on the butt through clothes are more a mental punishment than physical, but, it teaches your kids violence is the answer to an emotional outburst versus figuring out how to keep anger in check.
As well, it has really become taboo in society, and, in that I still think it should be up to the parent to decide what is right, and, a swat on the butt, through clothes still to me seems acceptable....society has deemed it is not acceptable, and, in fact, if you continue in that manner, it is likely child services will be calling you soon.
My advice to anyone who is a young parent, trying to figure it all out....time-outs work great, if you are consistent and persistent, for both of you. So do naps, for both as well! Taking things away, for a bit too, can work wonders. Your kid needs to know there are boundaries. You, as the parent have to set them.
Did you ever get spanked while naked by your parents?
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I answered that it is NOT normal, but, I have to preface that, and say not today.
But, decades ago, it was. And, there was nothing sexual about it. Even in Christ's day, you were stripped naked and whipped in the public square. The beating was not only more brutal physically, others who had to watch knew what they DIDN'T want to end up getting, so, it kept the people in line!
I was sometimes beaten by my Father. Usually, it was with an old leather belt, and, sometimes we had to pull down our pants, he'd hold us by our arm so we couldn't get away, other times, he just smacked is through the clothes we had on. As I got older, I did not want my sisters to see me with my pants down.
We used to go into the bathroom and compare what our butts looked like later, try to look in the mirror. I remember one particular beating, my sister said my butt looked like a blueberry muffin! And, it hurt even days later!
But, back then, schools would administer corporal punishment as well! Our principle even in elementary school kept a paddle that was visible in his office, and would make kids bend over, grab their ankles, on a few occasions, I got to overhear a friend getting it....there was no "holding back"....now, it was through their clothes, but, it still hurt!
My Dad used to keep the belt in plain view in the kitchen, hanging on the towel rack at all times. It was a constant visual reminder of what could come at any moment, and, as well, when you were going to get it (or someone was), you'd hear him coming through the kitchen and then hear the belt make a "snap" sound as it came off the towel holder. One day, the leather belt broke while he was using it on me. Until I was about 12, he'd just take off his belt, or, if he wasn't wearing one, he'd make me take my belt off.
Fast-forward to my kids, I used to spank them with my hand, open, and not hard, and NEVER on a bare ass, on the butt with clothes on. I did this from about age 4 or 5 until they were about 8. My wife on the other hand was never spanked as a child....she was punished, but, never spanked.
The reason I stopped spanking kids is, one day, I got into a heated argument with my Father about it...I think we were talking about the kids and bad stuff they did...he asked if I spanked my kids, which I admitted to. When he inquired as to how I did it, he scorned me for using my hand, and said that I should use a belt instead. I understood what he was saying, he was concerned that, as a large man, using a hand can hurt small bones if you are not in control of your anger at the moment, which, I always felt like I was in control. His comment was about how he purposefully used the belt on us kids and how we all grew up "just fine".
Well, I didn't agree. That was a mistake. But, my even bigger mistake was when he insisted on having me recall to him an exact circumstance where I felt he went "over-board" on us as kids...in hindsight, there is no wining in that argument. But, there were PLENTY of times he did, and, I couldn't resist in recalling one or two for him. I was told I was remembering it through the eyes of a child, which, may be true, but, I reminded him of things that happened as a teenager as well, about when he broke his hand attempting to hit my oldest sister in the face when she was 17, her natural reaction was to put her arm up in defense, his hand smacked her elbow. Again, no wining there. His response was "I learned to use a closed fist from that time forward". So many people don't know how to control their own emotions of anger, it is not easy to do!
That conversation ended poorly, I said a few things I later regretted and hung up the phone on him. We didn't talk for a while after that, I did finally apologize, but, I never brought the subject back up, basically told him, as much as I appreciated his concern, I wasn't going to debate this with him anymore, these were my kids, I'd raise them the way I wanted.
It was that argument that made me think long and hard about how I was raising my kids, and, more so, what I was teaching them as far as "acceptable" behavior for when they someday became someone's parent.
As well, this triggered my wife and I to have a long conversation about this. She expressed her displeasure with some of the physical ways I had handled punishment with the kids. It was good that we discussed it...because, I know that my Mom disagreed with what my Dad did when we were kids, but, never said much of anything to him about it. She would spank us too, it was rare for her to do so, and never with a belt, just an open hand, and, in comparison, it was like nothing.
But, the reality of it is, the child does not want to get spanked, no matter how you do it. Smacks on the butt through clothes are more a mental punishment than physical, but, it teaches your kids violence is the answer to an emotional outburst versus figuring out how to keep anger in check.
As well, it has really become taboo in society, and, in that I still think it should be up to the parent to decide what is right, and, a swat on the butt, through clothes still to me seems acceptable....society has deemed it is not acceptable, and, in fact, if you continue in that manner, it is likely child services will be calling you soon.
My advice to anyone who is a young parent, trying to figure it all out....time-outs work great, if you are consistent and persistent, for both of you. So do naps, for both as well! Taking things away, for a bit too, can work wonders. Your kid needs to know there are boundaries. You, as the parent have to set them.