Did she actually love me? is it normal i'm confused

I'm 24f and I met one of my best friends at high school. I was 16 and knew her for about 5 years.
We shared a lot of close moments together. I was the one that would keep the friendship going however, as she didn't put as much effort into it especially towards the end. I fell in love with her and loved her ever since day one. She would say things like how she loves me heaps and would hug and squeeze me so tight and we always held on for a long while when hugging. One time we were on the beach with a small group of friends and we were high from having a joint, I was curiously looking into everyone's eyes to notice how different everyone's eye color looked from getting high. When I locked eyes with her, it felt "different " like as if time stood still and we were really seeing each other.
After that moment, I felt she was closer to me, we were walking on the beach and I put my arm over her shoulder and she held my hand. Later that night, I was sleeping on the sofa downstairs and she was on the floor lying next to our other mate. She decided to jump up and cuddle into me, she literally put her hand around me and pulled me in.
I always thought it was all in my head except that time when I reconnected with her after not talking for months due to a fall out, she brang up that day (that moment ) all by herself saying how it was intense, we had a connection, like we interconnected, kind of like romance she had said.
I had always wondered if she felt something too given her comment, years down the track I summoned up enough courage to meet and tell her how I felt all these years. She had moved away aaages ago to another city and I hardly saw her anymore but felt compelled to get this off my chest. Apparently she didn't feel the same and said it wasn't sexual and that we had a spiritual connection.

My main question is- Did she ever even care or love me as a friend/ a person.
Despite once being close, I always felt like she never truly cared because I was the one always making an effort, I tried to maintain the friendship. She would hardly even ask how I was in the end, not even a simple "how are u " text every few weeks. I used to not hear from her in months which I obviously felt awfully upsetting.

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 7 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • TheRealJohnCena

    And this kids, is why we have a mouth. It is used for talking and asking questions

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  • Marvelli77

    It sounds as though she did care about you as a friend, even if she wasn't the one to initiate convos and stuff like that.

    Me personally, I have amazing friends that I care about, but I'm never the one to message/call them first because I get distracted by other things.

    I think she did like you as a friend, but even so, it was years ago and neither of you have kept in contact, so I'd say just go your separate ways

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    • Ha, well tbh if u get so easily distracted by things as in her case then obviously that person isn't important enough in the first place. You make time for important people / people u deeply care about. You don't forget them. We have gone our separate ways. I ended it.
      Just curious

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      • ?

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      • Also what about the all the things she'd say such as "I love u heaps" and all the amazing hugs? Did that all mean nothing? I'm just so confused because it felt like she really did love me/ care about me except then she doesn't put much effort in the friendship..

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        • Sure you can like a friend just like you can simply "like " an acquaintance but I'm talking about something deeper than merely liking someone.

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  • Del

    Ask her, and express your real feelings to her ..

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    • Marvelli77

      She did that, and the girl told her that she didn't feel the same way.

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      • which seems odd considering how she said our connection sounds like it's romantic

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