Yeah but problems arise when they get upset at you for not using their words. Like I had a demisexual co-worker once and I knew he liked women so I made a joke once where I started out with "Now I'm assuming it's true that your straight..." and he got really pissed and said he was actually straight and demisexual and I had to include that. I said I didn't consider demisexuality a thing, which I don't and he got real pissed. From then on he was always very condescending around me and avoided me if possible.
So people can call themselves what ever they want but I don't have to call them what they feel like they are. I call people Male or female and either hetero, homo or bisexual. And I have the right to THAT opinion!
I think he assumed you were calling him gay lol. From what I've noticed, men who lack that sexual attraction when seeing a gorgeous woman when all their buddies are like, "Wow. Look at that," makes them insecure that they can't share that sort of experience. Often times they're called gay for it either jokingly by friends or by thots who were angry they were rejected (ex: "What are you, gay or something?").
However, this doesn't excuse the him forcing you to call him demisexual and treating you like shit at work.
Maybe that was part of it but he totally lost if when I said I didn't think demisexuality was a thing. Damn snowflake! Lot of weird people at that job lemme tell ya.
i'm honestly glad i don't have to work around people with these attitudes (dare i say neuroses?). but the path of least resistance and conflict avoidance is probably to just accept their terms, even if it is grating. it's all cost/benefit analysis. personally, i would add 'gender-neutral' to your acceptable categories, mostly because of the relative ease of doing the whole they/them shit to avoid friction and conflict. take the long view with these people and see how respecting (or just humoring) their specific 'identities' satisfies them in a manner that minimizes problems on your end.
i would add that i'm considering this from the mindset of trying to get along in the workplace. things get murkier in the realm of friends, i have experienced.
I understand the mindset of just making people happy and compromising, however, that's not how I handle business and here's why. I think there are only 2 genders, 3 sexualities, and you can't switch genders. If someone disagrees with me on that I want to MAKE SURE that a big deal gets made out of it. I want to expose the idiocy going on by bringing a lot of attention to it. I think this whole idea that identity is subjective and you can tell people what to call you is a very dangerous road to go down and so I'll do whatever I can to thwart it.
well, as i mentioned, i as well personally view the cultural shift towards the primacy of specific 'identities' that certain people have adopted as a dead end - a kind of bramble patch of their own making. personally, i think there are greater dangers in this world and this whole identity politics clusterfuck is dishearteningly annoying, - yet not so bad as to warrant engaging them directly out of some sense of needing to preserve ones personal integrity. i respect your commitment to your ideals but i think trying to be a martyr of your cause is a waste of time, and in a real sense stooping to their level of argument. wanting to 'expose the idiocy' is fine i guess, but don't be surprised when it burns your bridges. when it comes down to it, defining yourself as some foot soldier of the culture wars is as much of a dead end as their bullshit. idk. take my commentary with a grain of salt but i guess what i am trying to say is that this shit is trifling in the long run.
Yeah it's not worth it if It happens to me all day but It doesn't happen very often and I actually try to avoid those types of poeple so it's been only a couple of times that this actually happened. I don't know if it's totally harmless to place all this power in self identities because I'm terribly worried that at some point it will become a crime to not use people's pronouns or to say how men and women are different. I would not be surprised if it came to that point and that is an injustice that is worth while standing for, at least for now.
Demissexuality is not a sexuality, it's just normal part of a relationship
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Yeah but problems arise when they get upset at you for not using their words. Like I had a demisexual co-worker once and I knew he liked women so I made a joke once where I started out with "Now I'm assuming it's true that your straight..." and he got really pissed and said he was actually straight and demisexual and I had to include that. I said I didn't consider demisexuality a thing, which I don't and he got real pissed. From then on he was always very condescending around me and avoided me if possible.
So people can call themselves what ever they want but I don't have to call them what they feel like they are. I call people Male or female and either hetero, homo or bisexual. And I have the right to THAT opinion!
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Tealights
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Sexualized_Polycheate_Worm
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I think he assumed you were calling him gay lol. From what I've noticed, men who lack that sexual attraction when seeing a gorgeous woman when all their buddies are like, "Wow. Look at that," makes them insecure that they can't share that sort of experience. Often times they're called gay for it either jokingly by friends or by thots who were angry they were rejected (ex: "What are you, gay or something?").
However, this doesn't excuse the him forcing you to call him demisexual and treating you like shit at work.
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Maybe that was part of it but he totally lost if when I said I didn't think demisexuality was a thing. Damn snowflake! Lot of weird people at that job lemme tell ya.
i'm honestly glad i don't have to work around people with these attitudes (dare i say neuroses?). but the path of least resistance and conflict avoidance is probably to just accept their terms, even if it is grating. it's all cost/benefit analysis. personally, i would add 'gender-neutral' to your acceptable categories, mostly because of the relative ease of doing the whole they/them shit to avoid friction and conflict. take the long view with these people and see how respecting (or just humoring) their specific 'identities' satisfies them in a manner that minimizes problems on your end.
i would add that i'm considering this from the mindset of trying to get along in the workplace. things get murkier in the realm of friends, i have experienced.
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I understand the mindset of just making people happy and compromising, however, that's not how I handle business and here's why. I think there are only 2 genders, 3 sexualities, and you can't switch genders. If someone disagrees with me on that I want to MAKE SURE that a big deal gets made out of it. I want to expose the idiocy going on by bringing a lot of attention to it. I think this whole idea that identity is subjective and you can tell people what to call you is a very dangerous road to go down and so I'll do whatever I can to thwart it.
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Sexualized_Polycheate_Worm
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well, as i mentioned, i as well personally view the cultural shift towards the primacy of specific 'identities' that certain people have adopted as a dead end - a kind of bramble patch of their own making. personally, i think there are greater dangers in this world and this whole identity politics clusterfuck is dishearteningly annoying, - yet not so bad as to warrant engaging them directly out of some sense of needing to preserve ones personal integrity. i respect your commitment to your ideals but i think trying to be a martyr of your cause is a waste of time, and in a real sense stooping to their level of argument. wanting to 'expose the idiocy' is fine i guess, but don't be surprised when it burns your bridges. when it comes down to it, defining yourself as some foot soldier of the culture wars is as much of a dead end as their bullshit. idk. take my commentary with a grain of salt but i guess what i am trying to say is that this shit is trifling in the long run.
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Yeah it's not worth it if It happens to me all day but It doesn't happen very often and I actually try to avoid those types of poeple so it's been only a couple of times that this actually happened. I don't know if it's totally harmless to place all this power in self identities because I'm terribly worried that at some point it will become a crime to not use people's pronouns or to say how men and women are different. I would not be surprised if it came to that point and that is an injustice that is worth while standing for, at least for now.