Dating sucks for men, while women just pick and choose

Man, dating for guys is like a job interview. We have to approach woman after woman and get rejected over and over again.

Meanwhile for ladies, it’s literally just pick and choose, isn’t it?

I’m in my 30’s and I have my life together with a good job and already paid up my apartment in town + car. I also managed to accumulate substantial savings, so I most certainly have a solid foundation. Even with all this going for me, I can’t even score a decent date.

It’s just mind boggling how difficult it is for guys to find decent dates compared to how easy it is for women. They can literally just pick and choose as if they reject 1 guy, there will be always be another one in the line.

Life fucking sucks

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  • Just don’t go for girls way out of your league and you should be fine. Guys complaining about this sort of thing are usually a solid 4/10 thinking they deserve some 10/10 hot blonde supermodel

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    • I don’t exactly go for looks. What I seek is someone I can bond with so her personality is more important.

      I am average looking, but in terms of career, I’m far ahead of the curve, which is what most women seek (as they aren’t nearly as fixated on looks as guys).

      Regardless of what my situation is, I still think that guys have it way harder.

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      • Have you considered the possibility that the impression you make on women could be negatively affected by your opinion that women are only really looking financial stability?

        If you see your main selling point as being your financial success and career prospects, that might be leading you to push those points too hard. No sensible woman would choose to live in a cardboard box under a bridge just for lurve, but few women would be willing to admit - to others and to themselves - that the only thing they actually like about a guy is his money. There are a few names for women like that, and none of them are generally considered flattering.

        Another possibility that occurs to me is that the reason you're doing so well financially is that you might be a classic Type A personality: someone who operates at a rapid pace, is impatient, competitive, gets upset easily and equates self-worth with concrete achievements (often measured in terms of money). Such people are often so focused on achieving dominance in their chosen field of work that they have no real emotional depth, and few interests outside of their work.

        If women get the clear impression that your total identity is wrapped up in your work and how many possessions you have, why the hell should they find you fascinating or even slightly interesting as a person? You're just another suit with an apartment, car, and healthy bank balance. Why should they feel that life with you could be emotionally fulfilling for them? Why should they believe that there's room for them in your life?

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        • I understand your point mate, and I completely agree with you.

          There is however a misunderstanding here and I’ll try to clear it up.

          I understand that true love is when you form a bond with someone. That bond is irreplaceable by any material things. Finding someone I can bond with is what I and everyone else seek.

          What I tried to get across by saying that I am far ahead of the curve in terms of career is that what I lack in looks, I make up in other areas, as going for looks alone is equally shallow as going for money alone.

          I didn’t mean in any way or form that career is my main selling point. It is just something I pointed out for the people shallow enough to base everything on looks as the “out of your league” discussion came up.

          I believe that no one is out of anyone’s league as it is the inside that counts. I firmly don’t believe that league is based on looks either.

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      • when you say most women seek people far ahead of the curve in term of career i think you might give women the negative impression. a lot of women don't care about this that much, or they care about it but are not obsessed with it. i tend to see guys who are successful careerwise think a lot of women must love them so much because of that. but what actually happens is when a guy places too much emphasis on attractiving women with a successful career, he mindlessly/casually shows off in conversations that push women away

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  • No, it's not like that for women. It can be very difficult to find a decent man. There could be a hundred fish in the sea but 99 of them have some sort of baggage.

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    • True, however it is the same on our side. There are many women with baggage and scoring 100 fish as a guy is much harder than scoring 100 fish as a girl.

      The only advantage guys have is that we can easily date girls 10 years younger without anyone lifting an eyebrow, while there’s general stigma if it was the woman who was 10 years older (no offense, just the way society sees it)

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      • Honestly, if many of the men where not so desperate to stick thier hose in anything warm or moving, I think women in general would be a little bit more receptive. Of course woman are choosey, they are terrified from the minute they hit puberty that a guys gonna hurt them. Honestly, I have gotten women interested in me not even trying since I just was a decent friend to them. Guys need to get higher standards if they want more dates since women already in general think men are trash.

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        • I've heard some men say their biggest fear is that women will reject them, and laugh at them, but A WOMAN'S BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT SHE WILL BE RAPED, AND MURDERED!

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  • Just look at nature. Generally the males have to do some kind of dance or be bigger and prettier than all the other males. It’s quite impressive How relative it is.

    Sorry, bud.

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    • Except men are happy to date 90% of women. Women are looking for only the top 10% of men. The difference is that if she can't get a date with a top guy like that (a Chad) she will just stay home and sleep with her pet cat. She doesn't want to be bothered. The cat is acceptable.

      Because female perception varies a bit, actually only the top 25% of men will end up with partners.

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      • Dubious numbers aside, it’s baffling to me that men who think like this will find a way to justify blaming women instead of self reflecting and asking themselves why a woman would rather be with a cat than them, and trying to figure out how to change that.

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        • Firstly, women are free to choose, free to say no, and free to sleep with whatever cat they like. You cannot blame a woman for having preferences anymore than you can blame a man for his preferences.

          Secondly, most men (like me) have varied their style, their appearance, and their demeanor to find which factors make a difference. Humans are complicated animals. Somethings will work on some women and not on others. But, one thing is ultra important - appearance. When you have misaligned teeth, facial scars, and an asymmetric face, you get no responses from any woman.

          Let's try an experiment, shall we? If I told you that these three guys had high net worth, were extremely empathetic, and good natured, would you respond to their profiles?

          https://ibb.co/5r4s1dj

          Remember, these are real people with real needs, and real sensibilities. Please do not judge them in a cruel way.

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          • Well, as a straight man, no, I wouldn’t respond to them or any other guy, and I imagine they wouldn’t want me to. But I will say that I’d rather decide for myself if somebody seems empathetic and good natured to me than take someone else’s word for it.

            Other than that, I’m not really sure what you think the difference is between men and women here. If you think appearance matters more to women than it does men, or that a woman is going to get any more responses from men than a man with a similar quality of appearance is from women, we’re just going to have to agree to disagree.

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            • "I’m not really sure what you think the difference is between men and women here."
              In on-line dating, men are generally expected to make the first move.

              "... or that a woman is going to get any more responses from men than a man with a similar quality of appearance is from women."
              Female response is far more concentrated on the most attractive men, while male response is more evenly distributed.

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  • Yeah it is because men generally have low as fuck demands in real life. It's easy to test just by making a profile where you upload photos where you intentionally look like shit or even no photo and you still get flooded with flirty messages but is it easier to find a decent partner ? Nah. Most men when online dating just wants sex, many are cheaters or just overall shady... the rest are inexperienced and too shy to even make it to a date AND of course don't forget the oversharers - The first thing the oversharers do is complain about their lives, if they have mental health problems they list them and describe them in detail (this happened to me 3 years ago with a guy who was literally schizophrenic, he had some insane stories to tell man) and how sad their love life is and then they actually get surprised when you're like "nOPE". Like a dating app is not online therapy my dudes... One thing at a time...
    Yeah there's decent men but usually they're very inactive on dating apps since they're also well aware of the climate on those. You sort of have to find them in real life by chance like via mutual friends, work, studies or a hobby. So NO, it's not easier for us unless, I guess, if you like to have one night stands. We also tend to be way more careful, trust me whenever we match with a guy and start talking to him we are already looking up if he has any criminal records and whatever else might be good to know. Usually us women have been through so much crap from creeps that we are sort of withdrawn and hard to get through to.

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    • Thanks for sharing your experiences. There are many good points in there.

      As for guys mainly seeking sex: I think it mainly applies to the immature (guys in their 20’s and downwards).

      As a guy in my 30’s, sex isn’t even on my list of priorities. My priority is to find someone to laugh, smile and build good lifelong memories with.

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  • There is zero difference between men and women when it comes to most things, including dating.

    Your statement is biased by your own experience.

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  • Not all women can pick, and choose.

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    • True. Generally speaking, it's much easier for women, though.

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      • Women have much more at stake. In some countries women are murdered by their own families for the sake of so called honor, which is a vile thing!

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        • Yes, women do have much more at stake. We agree. However, it is undeniable that in general it's much easier for women to get men than for men to get women. I think there's an evolutionary reason for that. Women are more picky, as they - potentially - have to carry a child in their wombs for nine entire months.

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          • It's easier for women to get men, because most men will sleep with anything in a skirt. A lot of males will want to sleep with just about any female, it's pretty gross actually. I honestly don't think sex is the end all, be all of life though so I don't really care to waste my time feeling sorry for males who whine, and complain that they can't get laid. It's kinda pathetic. I'm more concerned about the fact that there are people in this world who don't have access to clean water.

            There are a lot of men who are nothing, but deadbeat dads, and just like to have fun, but take no responsibility for their actions.

            I do, however, appreciate what you said about women, and pregnancy. I don't think it's a tragedy when some people can't get laid.

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  • One of the reasons men get rejected more often than women is because women know whose in their league while men go after women way out of their league and then sit there wondering why they get rejected all the time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    • What do you base “leagues” on? On looks alone?

      I’m a very average looking guy, but if I want to be shallow, I would certainly be in a very high league due to my earning power (which is well into the six figure range).

      I don’t believe in leagues. Either you connect with someone or you don’t. Usually people you connect with tend to be similar to yourself.

      Leagues are just an excuse to be shallow, and if they truly are valid, then there are more factors than just looks.

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      • I am basing this on looks and you underestimate how important looks are when it comes to attraction.

        Either way, i wish you luck!

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        • Thanks for your input!

          I must however disagree as it would be like saying that a criminal such as Jeremy Meeks is in a higher league than Jeff Bezos.

          I would certainly go for less attractive, but smart and ambitious women over a 10 on social support. In fact, I wouldn’t even consider the latter.

          To each their own I guess 🤷‍♂️

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  • In terms of early dating, especially online dating it definitely is. Anybody who disagrees hasn't looked at the stats or is delusional. In terms of searching for long-term partners I would argue that it's the opposite. Women generally want to be the ones to commit while men are less likely to.

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  • Its just the way it is. Always though women are more selective by nature because they can only have one baby so many months and men can just impregnate as many as he wants. So men are less selective to reproduce. Maybe there's something biological there at play idk Im a retard.

    But you should probably start getting fit. If you have a nice strong body girls notice.

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  • I still find it hard especially with numerous break ups. It's like I just can't find someone to be in a full relationship with. I see myself throwing stones on the lake with the question of " Why does it feel hard to do? ". I usually don't care about appearance or race the one factor is whether I can realistically be together with that person, you maybe wondering that too. Like what am I talking about? The plain answer is the reason why it might be hard is because some females aren't into you while some are. The league thing that people say means nothing to me all you have to ask yourself, " Is that person you're dating realistic ", it's entirely important to evaluate yourself you want to be true to yourself and not wanting to be someone who just feeds on false hopes and delusions. People with false hopes and delusions are people who fall down, they fall down hard that they will feel rejected but refused to question why they have. You could have the prettiest girl however things can turn the wrong way and punch you unexpectedly, by punching you unexpectedly I mean the obvious " Meh, you don't fit my requirements " kinda thing. If I were to ever come back on dating apps, I would first need to know what kind of a person I am looking for.

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  • This is a tough one as men do tend to swing above their rating more often. You can't expect to put no effort into your appearance other than the basics and get no where with it.

    Dating apps are also useless for men if you aren't a solid 8 out of 10 or higher.

    My advice is to find someone to help you. It sounds cheesy, but wingmen/wingwomen can help.

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    • I scored a date with a solid 10 last year, but she turned out to have 0 ambitions in life and had gold digger tendencies. The date ended with me ghosting the girl after figuring out her intentions.

      I’d rather take an under-average looking girl who’s equally ambitious with a good personality over the 10/10 gold digger girl.

      It’s strange indeed that I can land a date with a lazy 10, while I can’t land a date with an ambitious 4.

      I personally consider myself a 5 in terms of looks and a solid 9 in terms of career.

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  • As a man it may seem like we have to do so much more to get a girl but women aren't just "pick and choosing" a date. every time they do, they are putting themselves at risk because who knows what kind of horny lunatics are out there. Men never have to feel danger when going out with a stranger, so in many cases its a lot easier for men.

    also not ALL girls get guys. In fact a lot of average girls have the same struggles as guys who complain about dating. In fact, the only reason why most men think girls get hella dates are because they only look at girls that are hot/above average. Its the same way with guys, above average and hot guys get dates. theres a world of lonley women just like men. I've met plenty. Were all fighting the same battles in search for human connection.

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    • It's profoundly ironic that the term "Incel" was coined by a woman who was very unhappy about the lack of sex in her life, but the term only became widely known after a bunch of misogynistic, entitled, pathetic men applied it to themselves.

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  • Can’t relate, ladies dig me, something about the way I limp

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  • Hi, how would you REALLY know how “easy dating is for a woman,” then claim it’s so much harder for men. Do you understand that males RULE this entire planet. It’s a patriarchy in every country, state, small town, etc. I’m half British & German and I know people will try n debate me saying “England is a matriarchy! That country has a Queen.” That doesn’t mean the entire country is at all ruled in a woman’s favor. You have it all wrong. It’s easier for us women (unless your a heterosexual man; gay and bisexual guys can get some sex action pretty quickly. I think it’s easier for us women to get laid by choosing a hot male/female to have sex with. We can even jump into a career of being an independent “escort” (prostitute) and get paid to get laid! Only issue here is that you guys are horny toads. What really gets me is that you men claim to be “superior to us women;” you need to think about this carefully Plenty of women love sex. BUT NOT enough to control your perverted, sick, harrowing fantasies which always involves violating a “weaker” victim of the opposite sex (women & girls), children (little babies, toddlers, young kids, teens, tweens, etc..) All adult men are quite aware of the harsh, life ruining punishments that sex offenders, rapists, child molesters, pedophiles get. Long prison sentences if convicted, other inmates loathe you perverts who can’t (no, you WON’T) control your testosterone laden “little head,” and the dire consequences that you will have to deal with for the rest of your miserable lives: loss of job, loss of respect from important people in your lives, prison time, divorce, shamed and embarrassed your family, you’ll be featured on the lovely & interesting National Sex Offender Registry by your personal photo, description of crime you committed, your address will be listed, how much time you served locked up, etc. In conclusion, MY gender (female) IS actually superior to the male gender. We can control our sexual thoughts, drive, desires, and do not at all have to worry about getting arrested for rape. You guys are really something. By the way, don’t your erections get in the way of your lives? You guys claim that there should be no female President because “she may get her period and go crazy.” So tell me, what the hell was my ex (thank Goodness) President’s problem? I’ve heard that as a lame excuse for oppressing women so we’re not able to get a shot at it. Men have been presidents for a loooooong time. If it wasn’t for us women, who you choose to try and silence, shame, shut up, minimize what we say and feel, call us “crazy,” and try to manipulate us by saying “it’s all in your head,” YOU MEN would not be able to be born! Have some damn respect for the good women in your life. Us women want to date to ultimately find a bf/gf. You guys just go on “dates” to check the girl out and see how vulnerable she is, and if you’d be wasting your money or not on getting her drunk, so she loses her inhibitions, and you could either pressure her into consensual sex or rape her. Pathetic! I’ll tell you as a hot girl with a high sex drive that to me, looking at sexy babes with huge natural tits really turns me on. (I’m bisexual). Then, I can make myself have an incredible orgasm (s) guaranteed! The horrid fact that countless men have made the choice to get off on the power of forcing another human being to have sex with you against their will is nightmarish. And I’ve heard SO many women in denial about that FACT. “Oh my Johnnie would never do this or that; Hes different than other guys…) yeah right! Take off your rose colored glasses: If men really loved women as so many of you in denial heterosexual women say they do, then why is rape an epidemic STILL to this day?! Take off your rose colored glasses and educate & protect yourselves, ladies!!

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    • Thank you for your input. I do agree with many points you have there, but I strongly disagree with that we men are predators who only seek sex. Sex isn’t even on my priority list and in your post, you’re holding all men accountable for actions of the immature.

      There are bad men out there who rape and kill women, but they are a minority. We are all equals under the law. Saying that all men are players who just seek sex is like saying that all Muslims are violent or other racist things, that we know aren’t true, right?

      My point with this post is that it’s easier for a woman to find a quality date compared to a guy, due to her wider selection. Rapists, murderers, players are a minority, let’s not make it a stereotype for men

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  • Women usually want someone who is accomplished and who clicks with them personally, and it can be hard for them to find someone who fits both criteria. Men, on the other hand, usually want someone who is attractive and neither crazy or too needy, at least at the start of the relationship. Looking good and being sane are easier than being financially successful and powerful.

    It’s frustrating to both sexes for different reasons, but in general, much of the world still sees a successful man as one who can provide for a woman, and a successful woman as one who can attract someone who provides for her.

    That said, women do have struggles with dating too, namely finding someone who isn’t only interested in getting into her pants, keeping a man interested long term, finding someone who won’t bail if he gets her pregnant, and staying attractive to men their own age as they get older.

    Women who are less attractive also don’t have the luxury of easily getting any guy.

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  • Maybe you're looking in the wrong places. Instead of looking across the street look on the sidewalk next to you.

    I find the most interesting /interested and compatible relationships come from those that already know us and are right there in front of us or in the shadows around us.

    These are the ones that you haven't put the dating show on for. They already know our good points and our BAD points. If you're really into looks then remember what a person looks like at work, grocery shopping, or doing yard work is not what they look like on a date.

    You do have to be careful if you're just looking for the casual fling. Coworkers, friends, and neighbors can be trouble if your into fvk and dump.

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  • Essence is this
    Men expectations are lower than women.
    Also it depends with cultures. Western, an idea some how has implied that, it's a man responsibility to impress a women.
    East, women have to accept what ever it is.
    South Asia, women should maintenan a relationship, man should be protect care take responsibility who trust you, which is the women.
    Men are easy to satisfy. First attraction for men is women beauty, for women the attitude. But modern world, this basics are so corrupted, men seek for sexual attraction in order to compete with the society while women do the same by seeking wealth, fame, etc.
    Men think it's unfair that we have to do all. Women think it's a shame men can't do all.
    And more further since men have to take all responsibility, women see this as patriarchy and men do act like that thinking it's fair.
    Neither accept the fact both need both parties due to ego, unless they see it clearly, those differences will exist and one side always has to carry the weight.
    This is small fact with huge back ground. Tbh, cannot discuss in by a small comment.

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  • It’s hard to have relationships with people for me anyway. I’ve been the outcast pariah since I was four years old (that is 14 years and counting). I’d rather be alone than with someone who only wants sex and no long term commitment. I’m a woman.

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  • I disagree. I have never dated anyone and I'm a girl. I was cursed with only finding unobtainable or the most specific and obscure kinds of people/things attractive, or things I can never be with in real life. So dating is harder for me than pretty much everyone else.

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  • Ever read the book called "The Outsiders"? Cherry Valance is one of the main female characters, and she has a great quote:

    "Things are rough all over."

    In other words men and women are individuals first and foremost. Sure, as a woman I get to pick and choose. Men do too btw, it ain't my or any other woman's fault if some of you forget...or just didn't know in the first place, perhaps?

    Anyways, I forget exactly what this was in reference too since I read that book in middle school, but it's always stuck with me. This book was written by a teenage girl too, and it still remains a long standing classic.

    And yeah. The main character's name is literally Ponyboy.xD This was written in like the 60s or 70s or something like that I think. I remember it was a great book though, that's why all my old English teachers loved it so much.

    Here is a link to more quotes from that book for anyone who might be interested:

    https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/outsiders/quotes/character/cherry-valance/

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