Face it - he probably screwed her brains out and she loved it. She probably thinks of him when she is having sex with you now. You are just pissed that you didn't get out and pop a few bitches while you were off the chain - or did you, you sly dog?
I tend to agree with furball, other than she "loved" it. My guess, they banged, maybe even enjoyed it at the moment, but something made her come back to you, must be something good.
If you didn't tag strange, too bad, so sad. You got no regrets, no lying, no STD's. What about her?
First, you never explain the circumstances for "separation". Therefore, I have multiple answers. Sorry this is lengthy.
Right now, you have some soul-searching to do.
If separation was her idea, may be painful, the split was a setup so she could bang him, maybe a dozen other guys too. But, the good news is, that wasn't as good as when she was with you. Hopefully, that is over and you can move on. Can you deal with that? I was never in that situation with my wife while we were married, but before hand, yes. I think they get an excuse in their head so they can go check the grass over on the other side. Chances are, you may never get a straight answer from her. I didn't. Whatever. That is what they need for their psyche to deal with their behavior, good for them. I think guys are more comfortable with sliding around through the backdoor, keeping a couple of women on the line. I did that, for a little while. Figured it was pay-back. I never banged that other chick, came close enough to realize she was on the rebound, she had major trust issues, not worth it. My GF, now wife was just WAY more fun-loving, into having great sex. You find a good one, you figure out how to make it work. Is it perfect? Nothing is. You just got to work on it.
If the separation was her idea, you know she banged him. Decide if you want to stay together and figure a way through your thoughts. Just tell her to be completely honest, you understand completely why if she did bang him, and, your OK with it, because, you technically were "separated", which in reality means, your gonna see if the grass really IS greener, then make the decision to divorce. Trial separations are a dangerous game to play.
This will make her wonder if you banged anyone, which of course you get her to admit to first. If she doesn't fess up, play it cool, don't deny or admit to anything yourself, if she persists, of course say you were a good boy, but, this keeps her guessing, lets her know she better pay attention to you. Suggest you both need to start with a clean slate, get tested for STD's. If she's appalled by the idea, don't push it, she might be telling the truth, or she is still banging him or someone else on the side. Just go get yourself tested without her knowledge. Get a private investigator to watch her for a while, just to be on the safe side. If you are satisfied she is back just with you, work on the relationship.
If the split was a mutual idea, or just yours, I got to say, what did you expect she was going to do, wait patiently for you to figure things out??? If that was the case, your a lucky fucking man, the old BF happened along at the right time, was persuasive, probably convinced her you were out banging everything that moved, and suggested one more fuck for old times sake. Wouldn't you? She didn't dig it, and decided she needed to be back with you, kudos to you!!!
I still suggest STD check, at least get one for yourself in secrecy if she won't.
If you still can't get over the fact she banged this dude, seek professional counseling, again, maybe on the down-low.
Time to move on. However, the fact she still has his number in her phone is worrisome. Do you keep phone numbers of ex's as well? If not, she should really remove that number in front of you.
If in doubt, get a PI to watch her a little while. Watch phone records too, be aware of how your relationship is going. You may need couples counseling.
Get things under control, no more secrets, no more fooling around. Figure out how to get along.
There are a thousand people out there either of you could be "happy" with. You have each other, you have a history, and, as you get older, you watch other couples get divorced, you realize, divorce sucks. New relationships after divorce are HARD, the older you get. People have so many problems that pre-dated you, it is so hard to have enough emotional capacity and empathy, its easy to just walk away again. Life with her is really the best thing you got. Trust me, as you get old, and figure out how to get along, work problems out, you realize how important it is you stay together. Divorce for kids SUCKS. I am not telling you to "settle", just, settle down, and work on your relationship all the time. Put an end to your suspicions once and for all, however you do it or they will consume you.
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Face it - he probably screwed her brains out and she loved it. She probably thinks of him when she is having sex with you now. You are just pissed that you didn't get out and pop a few bitches while you were off the chain - or did you, you sly dog?
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iinotnormal
7 years ago
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I tend to agree with furball, other than she "loved" it. My guess, they banged, maybe even enjoyed it at the moment, but something made her come back to you, must be something good.
If you didn't tag strange, too bad, so sad. You got no regrets, no lying, no STD's. What about her?
First, you never explain the circumstances for "separation". Therefore, I have multiple answers. Sorry this is lengthy.
Right now, you have some soul-searching to do.
If separation was her idea, may be painful, the split was a setup so she could bang him, maybe a dozen other guys too. But, the good news is, that wasn't as good as when she was with you. Hopefully, that is over and you can move on. Can you deal with that? I was never in that situation with my wife while we were married, but before hand, yes. I think they get an excuse in their head so they can go check the grass over on the other side. Chances are, you may never get a straight answer from her. I didn't. Whatever. That is what they need for their psyche to deal with their behavior, good for them. I think guys are more comfortable with sliding around through the backdoor, keeping a couple of women on the line. I did that, for a little while. Figured it was pay-back. I never banged that other chick, came close enough to realize she was on the rebound, she had major trust issues, not worth it. My GF, now wife was just WAY more fun-loving, into having great sex. You find a good one, you figure out how to make it work. Is it perfect? Nothing is. You just got to work on it.
If the separation was her idea, you know she banged him. Decide if you want to stay together and figure a way through your thoughts. Just tell her to be completely honest, you understand completely why if she did bang him, and, your OK with it, because, you technically were "separated", which in reality means, your gonna see if the grass really IS greener, then make the decision to divorce. Trial separations are a dangerous game to play.
This will make her wonder if you banged anyone, which of course you get her to admit to first. If she doesn't fess up, play it cool, don't deny or admit to anything yourself, if she persists, of course say you were a good boy, but, this keeps her guessing, lets her know she better pay attention to you. Suggest you both need to start with a clean slate, get tested for STD's. If she's appalled by the idea, don't push it, she might be telling the truth, or she is still banging him or someone else on the side. Just go get yourself tested without her knowledge. Get a private investigator to watch her for a while, just to be on the safe side. If you are satisfied she is back just with you, work on the relationship.
If the split was a mutual idea, or just yours, I got to say, what did you expect she was going to do, wait patiently for you to figure things out??? If that was the case, your a lucky fucking man, the old BF happened along at the right time, was persuasive, probably convinced her you were out banging everything that moved, and suggested one more fuck for old times sake. Wouldn't you? She didn't dig it, and decided she needed to be back with you, kudos to you!!!
I still suggest STD check, at least get one for yourself in secrecy if she won't.
If you still can't get over the fact she banged this dude, seek professional counseling, again, maybe on the down-low.
Time to move on. However, the fact she still has his number in her phone is worrisome. Do you keep phone numbers of ex's as well? If not, she should really remove that number in front of you.
If in doubt, get a PI to watch her a little while. Watch phone records too, be aware of how your relationship is going. You may need couples counseling.
Get things under control, no more secrets, no more fooling around. Figure out how to get along.
There are a thousand people out there either of you could be "happy" with. You have each other, you have a history, and, as you get older, you watch other couples get divorced, you realize, divorce sucks. New relationships after divorce are HARD, the older you get. People have so many problems that pre-dated you, it is so hard to have enough emotional capacity and empathy, its easy to just walk away again. Life with her is really the best thing you got. Trust me, as you get old, and figure out how to get along, work problems out, you realize how important it is you stay together. Divorce for kids SUCKS. I am not telling you to "settle", just, settle down, and work on your relationship all the time. Put an end to your suspicions once and for all, however you do it or they will consume you.