Date with ex

67% Normal
17 Comments

Last year, my wife and I were separated for about 4 months. During those months I wAs away from the house, but we talked on the phone every week. At some point, she "ran into" an ex-boyfriend, and subsequently went to dinner with him a short time after.
One day while we were separated, I used her phone to get a number out of it and saw her ex's number. I asked her about it and she said they ran into each other and that was all that happened.
we are back together now almost a year later, and recently she let it slip out that she went out to dinner with the ex. Is it normal for me to be pissed , or just forget about it?

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 81 votes (54 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    You guys weren't together and if it was just dinner then get over it

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  • confused80
    13 years ago

    Forget about it it's n the past and whle you guys were seperated....

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  • ArchDemonX
    8 years ago

    When I was a young adult, I learned to stay away from an ex if we ever had to separate for any amount of time. You shouldn't be all that mad, think about it. She chose you, not him! The other guy should be pissed. Jealousy is human nature, that's why we always compete and try to "one-up" eachother. I do hope you and your wife work everything out and stay together. Relationships are beneficial to your health. Mental, physical and emotional health should always be posotive. Never stress, it's a killer. Literally. Just be happy and if something goes wrong, just laugh, smile and say, "it is what it is". Then walk away and DON'T THINK ABOUT IT.

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  • c9az
    12 years ago

    i would only be pissed if she picked him over you but hey your the winner she is in your arms at nite not his

    being pissed now is just trying to extract revinge

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  • BoredGuy
    12 years ago

    I would be pissed, but I would get over it. if she had sex with him, I would file for a divorce.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    If its not in the now, dont let it bother u

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  • Mooselas
    13 years ago

    Let it go. You were seperated.

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  • G22
    13 years ago

    Thank you sweetg76. That's how I felt about the situation...why was she dating if she knew she still wanted to be married to me, especially with an ex? She did supposedly get rid of the number after I found it last year.

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  • sweetg76
    13 years ago

    Oh yeah the number still in her phone after so long not a good sign !!!!!

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  • sweetg76
    13 years ago

    To me if your seperated yet still have contact it means your trying to work it out that's not a time to go out with x's or start dating , unless you know it's over, that said I knew a couple that went through basically the same thing she lied , again and again her stories kept changing , it was just bumping into him oh it was just talking oh it was just kissing , oh then 3 yrs later it came out it was just sex .... Then somehow it became all my friends fault and that they where separated anyway ... So if ur back w/ her u love her and want to make the marriage work then drop it , if u catch her in simple little lies all the time then put ur guard up , cuz there is no room for lies in a marriage. Good luck!

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  • G22
    13 years ago

    If she did screw him, why lie about it? And she's the kind of person where her lies come back & then she gas to confront them. I think it bothers me more that she lied about the date in the first place.

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  • mtnw
    13 years ago

    let it go, after all, you were separated.

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  • koolmoedee
    13 years ago

    I would let it go. (easier said then done, i know). You were separated, and she probably didn't want to tell you cuz she didn't want to hurt your feelings.

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  • sleek
    13 years ago

    Your feelings are genuine,of cause you will be jelous,you guys were not togeather but you will still get those feelings of betrail and will wonder if anything did happen,if she is willing to delete his no & have no contact with him again then you no she was prob just craving some company,but it was you she really wanted and came back too,try to put it past you and move forward togeather

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  • yayasaga
    13 years ago

    Forget it but at the same time if it was nothing then y not just say in the first place. I wldnt trip tho if that really was it.

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  • furball
    13 years ago

    Face it - he probably screwed her brains out and she loved it. She probably thinks of him when she is having sex with you now. You are just pissed that you didn't get out and pop a few bitches while you were off the chain - or did you, you sly dog?

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    • iinotnormal
      8 years ago

      I tend to agree with furball, other than she "loved" it. My guess, they banged, maybe even enjoyed it at the moment, but something made her come back to you, must be something good.

      If you didn't tag strange, too bad, so sad. You got no regrets, no lying, no STD's. What about her?

      First, you never explain the circumstances for "separation". Therefore, I have multiple answers. Sorry this is lengthy.

      Right now, you have some soul-searching to do.

      If separation was her idea, may be painful, the split was a setup so she could bang him, maybe a dozen other guys too. But, the good news is, that wasn't as good as when she was with you. Hopefully, that is over and you can move on. Can you deal with that? I was never in that situation with my wife while we were married, but before hand, yes. I think they get an excuse in their head so they can go check the grass over on the other side. Chances are, you may never get a straight answer from her. I didn't. Whatever. That is what they need for their psyche to deal with their behavior, good for them. I think guys are more comfortable with sliding around through the backdoor, keeping a couple of women on the line. I did that, for a little while. Figured it was pay-back. I never banged that other chick, came close enough to realize she was on the rebound, she had major trust issues, not worth it. My GF, now wife was just WAY more fun-loving, into having great sex. You find a good one, you figure out how to make it work. Is it perfect? Nothing is. You just got to work on it.

      If the separation was her idea, you know she banged him. Decide if you want to stay together and figure a way through your thoughts. Just tell her to be completely honest, you understand completely why if she did bang him, and, your OK with it, because, you technically were "separated", which in reality means, your gonna see if the grass really IS greener, then make the decision to divorce. Trial separations are a dangerous game to play.

      This will make her wonder if you banged anyone, which of course you get her to admit to first. If she doesn't fess up, play it cool, don't deny or admit to anything yourself, if she persists, of course say you were a good boy, but, this keeps her guessing, lets her know she better pay attention to you. Suggest you both need to start with a clean slate, get tested for STD's. If she's appalled by the idea, don't push it, she might be telling the truth, or she is still banging him or someone else on the side. Just go get yourself tested without her knowledge. Get a private investigator to watch her for a while, just to be on the safe side. If you are satisfied she is back just with you, work on the relationship.

      If the split was a mutual idea, or just yours, I got to say, what did you expect she was going to do, wait patiently for you to figure things out??? If that was the case, your a lucky fucking man, the old BF happened along at the right time, was persuasive, probably convinced her you were out banging everything that moved, and suggested one more fuck for old times sake. Wouldn't you? She didn't dig it, and decided she needed to be back with you, kudos to you!!!

      I still suggest STD check, at least get one for yourself in secrecy if she won't.

      If you still can't get over the fact she banged this dude, seek professional counseling, again, maybe on the down-low.

      Time to move on. However, the fact she still has his number in her phone is worrisome. Do you keep phone numbers of ex's as well? If not, she should really remove that number in front of you.

      If in doubt, get a PI to watch her a little while. Watch phone records too, be aware of how your relationship is going. You may need couples counseling.

      Get things under control, no more secrets, no more fooling around. Figure out how to get along.

      There are a thousand people out there either of you could be "happy" with. You have each other, you have a history, and, as you get older, you watch other couples get divorced, you realize, divorce sucks. New relationships after divorce are HARD, the older you get. People have so many problems that pre-dated you, it is so hard to have enough emotional capacity and empathy, its easy to just walk away again. Life with her is really the best thing you got. Trust me, as you get old, and figure out how to get along, work problems out, you realize how important it is you stay together. Divorce for kids SUCKS. I am not telling you to "settle", just, settle down, and work on your relationship all the time. Put an end to your suspicions once and for all, however you do it or they will consume you.

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