Constantly paranoid, hurt and angry

38% Normal
10 Comments

Nah, it's not as bad as the title sounds. It's just that I'm quite bad with relationships. I always get paranoid and misinterpret little things. However, I keep my anger and hurt due to the "betrayal" or "abandonment" to myself because I'm not that stupid - I don't want to alienate everyone.

For example, if someone takes a while to respond to an email, in the time in between, I will get very depressed and hate them and myself (for doing some unknown thing that must have alienated them.) This is what's happening right now actually...yet although I know that I've gone through all this for no reason so many times before, I can't help but do this!

Also, there was another time when the update of someone's personal message on window's live messenger was different to what was being shown, so I immediately thought that I'd been blocked and I was devastated, because I'd thought that I was close to that person....then I realised that I hadn't been blocked and there is frequently a lag between updates and what you actually see.

But right now, I think I have good reason to feel upset. Information that was previously availiable to me on someone's facebook page isn't anymore because I've obviously been blocked from viewing it. Or have I? And if I have, what were the actual reasons? Maybe it's something less obvious. I don't know. This is driving me nuts. I keep thinking too much and it's driving me nuts because I know that I'm being unreasonable but I can't stop. Help.

Oh yeah, that reminds me, I've cut off some people because of these issues. I hate this.

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Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • theytookthisone
    12 years ago | pl

    I use to have the problem, but eventually I got over it. I dont know how exactly I did. I guess I learned to occupy my time with other activities. Also I made more friends/talked to more people, and eventually that grew onto me. So I feel the reversal of the way I felt before, which is being annoyed when someone messages me right after I send a message or tries to talk to me all the time lol.

    I guess what you could do is try to make more friends or occupy your time with better activities to get your mind off things like that. Hopefully you won't have to feel like that for a while.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    I have the same issue. I'll just tell you that someone probably just changed privacy settings to everyone and not just you. Or if it is, then so what. You can't do anything about it but ask, so ask. Or, I just deleted my Facebook and I barely go on IM.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    You jump to conclusions. And regret doing so. That is no big deal. You know the answer to this...

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  • normalisoverrated
    13 years ago | pl

    I know how you feel, I've been there quite a lot I guess maybe we are just too sensitive or something?

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  • normalisoverrated
    13 years ago | pl

    Hey I have exactly the same problem! I go crazy when people don't respondç, I really do cause I feel disrespected I get scared they will go away I almost feel like they are little thieves who stole my love and running away and I freak out and I wanna scream!!! But again we need to learn to be calm and deal with this in a different way but how? hmm...

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    • PoisonFlowers
      13 years ago | pl

      Yeah, it's a really unnecessary source of stress in my life and I do it to myself.

      The only method of dealing with it that I have going on at the moment is becoming depressed and moody and angry and then getting better again after a while. I feel alright now. I'm almost used to it now. The "I'm thinking of killing myself" thing up there ^ was just me being stupid. It wasn't just because of these things. Ugh why did I say that...

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  • PoisonFlowers
    13 years ago | pl

    Someone, please help me. I know there's already a comment, but it's gonna take ages to appear. I feel like shit at the moment and I can't even pin down a clear, definite reason why. I've even been thinking of killing myself, but I know I can't do it because of the people I'll leave behind. I might do something stupid though, because sometimes I act stupid and can't think straight, you know?

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  • PoisonFlowers
    13 years ago | pl

    Okay, now the facebook page is back to normal again. Damn Facebook stalking!!! This is why I didn't want to get an account before...
    I think that I'm getting worse.

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  • LyricalLie89
    13 years ago | pl

    I feel for ya. Recently I have had quite a few people defriending me on facebook... it hurts!!

    Your problems do not seem bad at all. But I know how you feel, even the smallest, seemingly insignificant thing feels like the end of the world.

    My advice is to go a week without using instant messenger or facebook...it might seem impossible but you will probably feel very liberated and accomplished having done this. It gets to be too exhausting to keep up with the internet world on top of school, work, or actual time spent with friends. Try just worrying about the people who you interact with in your daily life, those people probably like you.

    At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is how you see yourself. If you are stable with the way you feel about yourself you will find that the situations similar to what you described above will not have a big affect on you.

    I hope this helps! let me know how it goes!

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    • PoisonFlowers
      13 years ago | pl

      Thanks. I'm actually feeling much better since yesterday. Sometimes I go like that; all crazy and unreasonable :s

      Ive taken breaks from im/facebooky things many times before, but when I do, the breaks go on for too long and I never go back. I think i'm sort of scared of getting attached to someone because of how i've been affected before (the problems are mostly in my head, I know.)

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