Constant obsession with a movie
I often get insanely obsessed with things, mostly movies. Right now it’s Call Me By Your Name. I have only seen the movie all the way through once. But for almost two months, I have watched it up until a certain point, almost daily. Once I watched it up until that part four times a day.
I can’t stop watching it or searching it online. It is always on my mind. I don’t want to watch other stuff or hear other music, just the film music. If I do watch or hear something else, I have to watch CMBYN afterward or later and if I can’t, I get angry and anxious. I have severe depression and this movie gives me a high, a euphoria, but later I feel sick, bad, ashamed of myself, sometimes nauseated.
At the moment I have no job and can’t drive, so I am always home with the dvd, streaming services and internet. My obsession with Timothee Chalamet doesn’t help either, because when you search him you get CMBYN. The movie won’t go away. All I want to do is watch this. It’s driving me crazy. I know this is unhealthy, but I can’t stop it from always being on my mind.