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I hear alot of women say they like a man with confidence, but I found I've always been more attracted to the shy type, so I was curious what the norm on this is. Do women really prefer a confident outgoing guy?
My husband is pretty "shy" guy. Intoverted.
I need someone that is mellow like him. I have kind of a fiery personality and if I was with someone else like me, the relationship would just burn the fucking house down.
Shy, social, it doesn't matter. I like men with personality features that are complimentary to mine. But if I am not attracted to him, that's a different story. I tend to respond better to cuteness and youthfulness as far as physical appearance goes. A man that doesn't smile doesn't do much for me.
I had my fill of alpha males. But I'm not a gentle, submissive female and I can't be expected to be one. On the flip side, I couldn't be with someone who is so shy that they will just let me control them. Keep your testicles, dude. So, I guess confidence, depending on the way that it is expressed.
I am introverted, very. Yet in no way shape or form shy. I am outgoing and will strike up conversations but I get tired after hanging out and don't like strangers. I don't have a preference between outgoing and shy girls. I feel that you can be confident and shy. I also think most guys prefer shy girls because they can see outgoing girls as sluts
As a male , I often think domineering , too over bearing,doesn't listen , so I was surprised when I first starting hearing the confidence thing.
Then you have the Patterson thing supposedly all torn up inside and they love it even more so basically I'm as clear as mud on the whole deal. Personally I think when you like you just like.
Sorry to break it to you, but I have plenty offers in my life from females and males.
Ugly? Profile picture tells otherwise. Shy? Not shy, but not bothered to engage when in a group with more than three people, unless they like and dislike the same things. If I am with people that aren't in a group that I don't know, I am very "outgoing" you can say.
I don't act like a "douche". I say things that people don't like, that doesn't mean what I say isn't true. I admit when I'm wrong.
I never said that it should grab anyones attention. My main points are that females like to say "Looks don't matter, I want a nice guy", then avoid those people for the opposite. I'm not saying avoiding those types of people is bad, I'm saying trying to have a moral highground, trying to be seen as a saint, then doing the opposite is wrong.
I can't really say too much never have really dated too much. But I guess truly I've gone for more of the cute shy guys more so than the confident ones.
I like Neuro's answer too. He definitely needs a smile to attract me. And I'm more attracted to the cute not the "hot" guy. Something about the hot confident guy I just don't like; I guess maybe I see them as more of a show off, not really sure though.
I've like shy guys before but for my personality I don't think being with a shy guys is ever a possibility because I need someone who will counter act my shyness. Plus I'm way to shy to ever ask someone out because I am deathly afraid of rejection and have horrible radar for when someone likes me or not so I need someone who will ask me out.
This is great , finally I'm starting to understand this stuff better. And I spose if you did look like Patterson it wouldn't matter what you did anyway.
Another thing I notice females seem to love is when other females make a fuss over you. The downside is you know they'll all be comparing notes on ya, scary !
The thing I don't get about that one tho is that if other girls like you too then isn't that just too much competition then .
I'm a female, I have an awesome boyfriend who's discovered a happy medium between shy and confident. Which is exactly what I need. I've always been kinda shy, he is a little too. But we're both confident, just not over bearing. My ideal man. However, women's tastes vary and can even change. But I agree with the previous commenter who stated she likes someone who's similar to herself. Find someone who's got some things in common with you, but not Everything. Gotta keep some flavor in the relationship :)
I have an extremely outgoing, "loud", personality, and I find that I can mesh with either type. There is something extremely sexy about powerful, take charge type women! But as far as dating goes I tend to lean towards shy girls for some unknown reason!
As far as men, i'm not qualified to judge lolz.
Women definitely like confidence more then anything, if you are what could be considered as less then handsome (now not ugly mind you, just not handsome) BUT you are confident, and you pull off being confident in a smooth way, i.e. it doesnt seem like you are acting or forcing it, thats attractive to women. Where as if you are handsome, but awkward in general or just dont say much women tend to overlook being handsome and focus on how awkward you come off as, which to women translates to little or no confidence, which leads to you appearing as less attractive.
Women also rate/rank men based on how their own group of friends treat the individual man. If the man is treated like a running joke or the low man on the heirarchy no girl tends to be interested in them, BUT if the guy acts like the alpha of the group, it appears as if the other men look up to him or at least listen to him completely when he talks well then his attractive factor goes up.
In response to the second paragraph, i've always been the exact opposite to what you described. The "leader" of the pack doesn't interest me, in fact it's a huge turn off. I like Mr.low heirarchy man. I'm not entirely sure why, but a man with to much confidence makes me think he's a douche bag wether he is or not :P So I naturally avoid that type.
Had you asked me this one or two years ago I would have said that I like the shy type. However, due to the fact that I have had something unpleasant occur between me and a shy guy; since the beginning of this year I have begun to take a liking to those who are confident. Nevertheless, if I was ever asked out by a shy guy I would not turn him down just because of that.