Children of narcissists

l've noticed that a lot of kids of narcissistic/sociopathic parents don't express their justified anger to the people who fucked them up and deserve the rage and resentment but those with good or "not evil" parents throw tantrums/rage episodes and blame their parents for a lot of shit but compared to a lot of fucked up parents they're freaking lucky.. any scientific explanations about the brain and shit? not just "they're spoiled ungreatful fuckers"..

Voting Results
100% Normal
Based on 9 votes
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 7 )
  • athem

    As the child of a narcissistic mother, I can say that she pushed the blame onto me whenever I confronted her about what she was doing, insisting that she was the victim and that I was always in the wrong. I never felt like I deserved to resent her, so I never said anything against her (luckily I know now that wasn't actually the case, and that I deserve to be angry).
    In contrast, the people who haven't really gone through that will be more open about what's bothering them, and so can complain a bit more because they might not have that crushing "it's my fault anyway" feeling that comes with wanting more. Generally, if you haven't had the idea that you don't deserve the better treatment, you'd probably be more outspoken about things (unless you've had other issues, but focusing solely on this topic, that's my view)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • RoseIsabella

    I think the parents indoctrinate the child into being a little people pleasing codependent. It's very sad.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Boojum

    Athem and Rose are right: children of narcissists are conditioned from infancy to fit into a role that gratifies the needs of the parent. If you've been shaped like that, it's very difficult to escape.

    My mother-in-law has narcissistic tendencies. When I showed my wife a couple of websites describing the behavior of narcissistic parents and their effect on children, it was almost like a cartoon lightbulb went on above her head. Just that understanding transformed her relationship with her mother.

    As for why children of "good" parents sometimes behave like self-centered dicks, I suspect a lot of that is down to so many people believing that "good" parents do whatever the hell their little darlings want. Kids should always be respected, but they need to learn the difference between wants and needs from an early age, they need to learn that there's sometimes a difference between reality and their feelings, and they need to have boundaries. In other words, parents need to parent, rather than constantly striving to be their kid's best friend.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • KiwiWisdom

    You want science? Sure. Humans respond to love. Narcissists fear they're frauds and so make people dependent on their love. In normal relationships people give love unconditionally. Even when a child is throwing a temper tantrum, they still know they're loved and seek attention. No such safety exists for the child of a narcissist. Love is conditional. Tantrums are met with complete withdrawl, not a disciplined response. This pattern will continue well into adulthood. It sucks.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • e51pegasi

    Sounds like a late afternoon tv movie "Children of narcissists".

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • SQUEEZETHEFATTIEMAKEHERCRY

      Children today are so nasty and way to soft. These parents are too afraid to discipline these little shits. Talking a belt buckle too them isn't uch a bad idea. Parents should be able to feel free to smack their assholes around. I'm not saying abuse them but a backhand to the mouth a couple of times is not bad

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • bayng

        Hello, SQUEEZETHEFATTIEMAKEHERCRY

        Can I inquire about your name? I found it quite funny and want to know its origin.

        Comment Hidden ( show )