Can't function at work unless I drink

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  • If I had a penny for every time I've heard an alcoholic say, "I'm not an alcoholic but" I'd be the richest man on this planet.
    You are definitely an alcoholic, there's no doubt about it.
    Chances are, with your attitude, that won't change until you seriously injure or kill someone, but hey, you have all the answers and through your alcoholic haze, they all make sense to you.

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    • You want to cut off your leg because you believe in your mind you are an amputee

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