Can't forget her

I never met her. We were just friends on facebook. We used to chat everytime about many things. She sent me many her pictures. Maybe i fell in love with her. But she wanted to be just friends because she has husband and baby. However, i can't forget her.

Voting Results
35% Normal
Based on 23 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • Grunewald

    I think it was a little imprudent of her to continue a friendship with a man that was that emotionally intimate if she has a husband and a baby.

    I mean, we all make opposite-sex friends but if you don't meet through work or an interest group and it's just back-and-forth, one-to-one chat, then it's bound to be exclusive and intense by its very nature. I'd say it were almost inevitable.

    What you feel is absolutely natural and I am really sorry. It could only safely end this way, and unless you have told her, she probably has no idea of the impact this has had on you.

    It would be unwise of you to pursue this friendship given the circumstances and your feelings - all you can do now is grieve. It was wrong of her to put you in a situation where it could only have ended that way for you, but the only way she can put things right now is to stop allowing you to hope.

    I reiterate - I am just so sorry. This is a really horrible situation for you to be in. I don't know if you could have seen it coming and we're all different - but all I can see is that you've got the rawest deal here, and that the best thing you can do for yourself is to ride out the grief and take time to heal.

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    • Huu

      Thank you.that's right. I should forget her. But her photos and videos are still in my phone :(

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      • RoseIsabella

        ... then you need to remove those photos, and videos of her. If you simply cannot stand the idea of deleting those photos, and videos then you can transfer that media to a micro SD card, and or transfer that stuff to your computer, then transfer it to a flash drive which you would keep separately, and out of sight.

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      • Grunewald

        It sucks, doesn't it? 😔. I've got some of the girl I wanted but couldn't have, too. It's her birthday today. I can't decide whether to email her and wish her a happy birthday. I know the advice I'd give to myself, if I were you.

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  • litelander8

    I call it the “treehouse effect”. It’s what could’ve been. You didn’t actually know her.

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    • RoseIsabella

      ... he shouldn't have been trying to be more than friends with a married woman.

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  • fatok

    get a life.

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  • Somenormie

    She has probably forgotten you, move on.

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    • RoseIsabella

      Hopefully!

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  • RoseIsabella

    Well, good for her for not trying to mess with you, because like you said she's a married woman with a baby! It's honestly selfish, and inappropriate for you to want anything other than platonic friendship from this woman!

    I once had a very dear male best friend that I had known since high school, I loved him like a brother, and you better believe I would have taken a bullet for him! Unfortunately, about a week before I was gonna go back to my home town to visit a bunch of people my best guy friend told me on the phone in explicit detail what he would like to do to me. I did not appreciate this bullshit, because I was married at the time, and I saw his behavior as beyond inappropriate, and disrespectful. I dumped my friend, and have never regretted doing so, because he was not only disrespectful of me, but also disrespectful of my marriage, and my then husband. I have since found out about a year ago that my old friend died of a heart attack at just 35 years of age. I was sad, and grieved the loss of my friend, and the knowledge that I can never reconcile with my old buddy, but I still don't regret dumping him entirely as a friend, because I know that was the right thing to do if I wanted to be a decent married woman. If anything I was mad at my friend for valuing my friendship so little. I'm a firm believer that if someone can't be a respectful friend of mine then he's certainly never deserving of anything more than friendship.

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    • Somenormie

      There are people out there who aren't who they seem, they'll see you as a trusted friend but they will unleash their terrible personality. Unfortunately there are people like that which sucks. The people who are out there doing that are the worst people.

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      • RoseIsabella

        Thanks, man! I did honestly think that old friend of mine was truly my friend until he unleashed the stupid. I absolutely despise people who get so wound up in thinking about how they're sexually attracted to me, or want to be more than friends when I'm either clearly not attracted to them, or not available. It's just so disrespectful when someone makes it clear that they don't value my friendship, because they clearly feel my friendship is not enough. I just go away thinking this sack of shit is completely unworthy of my friendship, and will never deserve my love!

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    • Huu

      i'm not disrespectful of her family. Because she said she wanted to divorce her husband.

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      • RoseIsabella

        Yeah, but she wasn't divorced yet!

        I'm not cool with people running around, and sleeping around just because they feel like it despite the fact they're not yet officially divorced. If someone is separated, they're still not really free to date until they are officially divorced in my book.

        Did she ever actually get a divorce?

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        • Huu

          Yes she didn't divorced because she wants to protect her family especially her little baby. It is her first marriage.

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          • RoseIsabella

            GOOD! That precious, little baby deserves the chance to grow up with his, or her natural parents. As long as there isn't something really terrible going on like, domestic violence, repeat infidelity on the part of either the husband, or wife, substance abuse, or some other issue of irreconcilable differences the thing that is most paramount here is the safety, and well being of that baby! When that woman confided in you that she might want a divorce it was not an invitation for you to try to get with her, and even if it was it would be wrong for you to pursue her. If she were to reciprocate your feelings for her, and pursue you she would be wrong in her actions, and it would be an immoral, sinful and horribly selfish thing for her to do!

            I know I might sound like I'm trying to be a hard ass, or a bitch, or like I'm trying to be mean, and spoil the fun in your life, but you NEED to be much less opportunistic, and understand all married women are off limits even if they say they aren't happy in their marriages. If you want to be friends with married women, or women already in committed relationships you need to be willing to see those women as sisters, treat them as such, and understand that they are entirely off limits for anything romantic, or sexual.

            It's a good thing that that woman chose her marriage, and the well being of her new baby over you, because the most important thing is the wellbeing of that baby, and the sanctity of marriage. Men, and women who after married people for sex, and romance are very selfish!

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            • Huu

              Well, I see. i'll try to forget her if it's possible. Thank you Rose.

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  • Rocketrain

    As online friends no one should share pictures unnecessarily. Just to show, this is me with a one is fine. Sharing huge amount of photos between two definitely it gives the receiver an idea, I'm getting these because other person likes me and trust me. It's normal to gain feelings for those. It happens because sender expecting compliments. And receiver eventually get stuck in a emotional roller coaster.

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