I guess I wasn't clear on my dad situation. He wasn't mental ill when she married him, at that time he was normal. When she married him many people where againts it because of the big age difference something like 20 years or something but she didn't litsen and married him. My father wasn't a bad man ( thats why she must have fell in love with him) but as an husband he was simply terrible , guess his main problem is that he was really frivolous when it came to women, marriage( if he married you it mean nothing ) and money. But something sorta happened to my father shortly after I was born and he started losing it to the point that he became seriously mentally ill ( at that moment he couldn't cheat on ber because he only became the shadow of what he once was couldn't work anymore couldn't think clearly anymore etc.). For my mom I do believe she lost it but its seems more like a psychological trauma .She doesn't remember shredding her clothes crying begging , doesn't remember half of what she said just doesn't remember how bad she was .she claims she doesn't remember the things she did to the point she doubts my claims . I don't know if she just prefered to lie or she really did forget but her acting like that piss me off too. If i was an only child I would be doubting myself thinking that I am the one who lost it ,that I invented all of that. I would be forever trusting my mom and accepting that I must be the bad one. But thankgod I am not an i only child , my brother there too he saw what my mom did and he also have my version of the events. Seriously i'm just tired of all this but I can't just abandon her but at the same time I can't act like nothing happened and forgive someone who prefer avoiding/forgetting everything even if doing so just push me against a wall .
Can I fix my issues with my mom? IIN?
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I guess I wasn't clear on my dad situation. He wasn't mental ill when she married him, at that time he was normal. When she married him many people where againts it because of the big age difference something like 20 years or something but she didn't litsen and married him. My father wasn't a bad man ( thats why she must have fell in love with him) but as an husband he was simply terrible , guess his main problem is that he was really frivolous when it came to women, marriage( if he married you it mean nothing ) and money. But something sorta happened to my father shortly after I was born and he started losing it to the point that he became seriously mentally ill ( at that moment he couldn't cheat on ber because he only became the shadow of what he once was couldn't work anymore couldn't think clearly anymore etc.). For my mom I do believe she lost it but its seems more like a psychological trauma .She doesn't remember shredding her clothes crying begging , doesn't remember half of what she said just doesn't remember how bad she was .she claims she doesn't remember the things she did to the point she doubts my claims . I don't know if she just prefered to lie or she really did forget but her acting like that piss me off too. If i was an only child I would be doubting myself thinking that I am the one who lost it ,that I invented all of that. I would be forever trusting my mom and accepting that I must be the bad one. But thankgod I am not an i only child , my brother there too he saw what my mom did and he also have my version of the events. Seriously i'm just tired of all this but I can't just abandon her but at the same time I can't act like nothing happened and forgive someone who prefer avoiding/forgetting everything even if doing so just push me against a wall .