Can i find a girlfriend if i can’t flirt/banter?

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16 Comments

I have a concrete mind due to Asperger’s and take everything at face-value. Meaning, I don’t know when to be funny or serious. I can’t tell if the teasing is seen as playful or hostile.

I’m planning a 4 month workout regimen to lose weight and build an attractive, slender body so I’ll stand out and girls will notice me more. That makes it easier to talk to them. But is flirting and teasing really everything in dating? What about looks, kindness, honesty and respect?

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Based on 12 votes
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Comments ( 16 )
  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    Look for another aspie like yourself.

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  • EnglishLad
    3 years ago

    Flirting and banter is definitely important when dating. Looks help also.

    Kindness, honesty and respect are more important in the relationship side of things rather than dating. So after a successful date, then go with the kindness, honesty and respect.

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  • Somenormie
    3 years ago

    Yes you can, you always want one with a great personality.

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  • bigbudchonga
    3 years ago

    Find an autistic girl. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but the thing's you've listed as good qualities, and they are good qualities, tend to come second to some other qualities when finding a woman. Most girls don't really know what they want from the sense of they'll list the qualities you've given, and I think it's likely you have them, but as you can see, it's not really helping you because they aren't the primary qualities they actually look for.

    You can still find a girl, you're just going to have to look for a girl who doesn't get a lot of male attention. I know this isn't exactly nice to hear, but the world's not a place where you get the 10/10 hottie who would be willing do everything for you whilst you're a 10/10 prince who will sweep her off her feet and protect her from the world. You have to settle in the world depending on the hand you have; I'd recommend trying to look for females who get little male attention and who have some not so desirable qualities.

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    • Shackleford96
      3 years ago

      Wow, that is really some honest advice right there. I just wanted to say that I can attest to this. In my opinion, it's better to settle than to have unrealistic expectations and be alone as a result...

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  • my_life_my_way
    3 years ago

    Girls don’t care about kindness or honesty. Most just want a fit guy who will make us laugh.

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    • LloydAsher
      3 years ago

      I just want a fit girl. Or at least a female that weighs less than me. It's not a high standard but for some reason it is hard finding people that fits it.

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  • Meowypowers
    3 years ago

    I think we are all not perfect. Younare listening to Loyd, Tommy, qnd the English. We are all obviously messed up in some way.

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  • PleaseTalkToMe
    3 years ago

    No cause I tried to find a gf for 2 years or so, I'm great at banter and teasing women. All Women suck except moi

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    Just because many aspies are terrible at lying doesn’t make them honest, and just because they’re too much of a wimp to be mean doesn’t make them kind.

    But yeah learn to flirt or something

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      Also Aspies are both honest and kind because we don’t believe in taking advantage of others. Most people on the spectrum are down to earth is you give them a chance.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      I tried learning flirting. The best I can do is corny pick up lines. So that’s why I prefer straightforward honesty and cutting to the chase with girls instead of flirting.

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      • EnglishLad
        3 years ago

        The best pick up lines are the ones which don't sound like a pick up line.

        Something like "Hi, I'm (place your name here), how are you? Fancy a drink?"

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    • RoseIsabella
      3 years ago

      Spitting out knowledge the cat is! 😎

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      • Tommythecaty
        3 years ago

        Well they certainly are words rose 🥴😁

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  • SwickDinging
    3 years ago

    Totally depends on the girl. A lot of this is about connection and chemistry, which is hard to predict. It either happens or it doesn't. Sadly this means quite a lot of trial and error when it comes to chatting up girls and dating, which can be tough on the hearts of sensitive folk like yourself.

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