Called my ex after one year breakup

57% Normal
16 Comments

When I broke up with my ex a year ago I avoided him as he was being obsessive to a point that my safety was questionable. Since then I have been seeing another guy (who was a proper twat) and we ended things. Lately I have been thinking about my ex and it was his birthday.

At that point I had no feelings for him but I really missed him as a friend/family. I called him anonymously and hung up without saying anything. Minutes later he called back (also anonymous). And then we started talking again, he said he still has feelings for me, he thinks about me everyday while I declared the opposite. I even told him about my last relationship. He suggested to meet up but I told him we will probably not meet again (at that point we both felt very emotional). He wished me well and said he has changed. He will leave me alone instead of being stalker-ish. I wished him happy birthday.

Since the phone call I've been thinking about him everyday. I really want to see him before he leaves the country for good. Thoughts? Would that be detrimental?

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 7 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • Hyakume
    6 years ago

    Nah, you leaving him might have changed him but he will go back the way he was if for some reason you go with him. Something similar happened to me actually... Was in a relationship and bam! Ex in my head. I msg her, I started having doubts that weren't really there which led me to breaking up with the gf at the time. There was nothing between me and my ex but some sort of longing. I really had magical moments with her that will forever stay with me, but those are gone and will never come back. You can't undo fuck ups, remember that much. Even now I wonder if it was a blessing in disguise tho, perhaps I had doubts on the back of my head about the relationship I was in at the time, or maybe I ruined a perfectly good relationship because of a bad day. I don't think I'll never know for sure tbh, but you should think of the person he turned out to be and not the person who you thought was by your side at the very beginning. I also suggest to reevaluate your relationship, you don't have to break up like I did but think if a thing that feels lacking and ask yourself if you really need it in your life.

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  • EccentricM8
    6 years ago

    Time changes people, but take note that the risk may still be there.

    However, if your feelings are there for him, then theres no reason to hold them back. Build up a bond with him, dont let him too close, and watch his behavior. If he still shows signs of his previous self, then back away.

    However, it could just be general attachment that builds up due to loneliness. If you want t avoid it altogether, pick up a hobby and stay busy. The feelings will diminish in time.

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  • BahmBitosWhap
    6 years ago

    what if he just really loves you! XO

    how was he stalker-ish though? like how much? lol

    what if he just really want to talk to you or see you because he really likes you? :)

    how is liking you a bad thing?

    n how long did you two know each other? because i can see maybe if you two only known each other for like a week, and hes being crazy stalker-ish. but if you two have known each other for long, then it just sounds like he cares for you :)

    but it just all depends

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    Leave him alone. If a guy's obsessed with you and has possible stalker-ish behavior then it's not normal for you to contact him regardless however much you miss him.

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    • BahmBitosWhap
      6 years ago

      what if the "stalker-ish" behavior is just because he really loves her because the two of them had known each other for a while?

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      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        In not buying what your selling, dude. Stalking and harassment aren't love.

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        • BahmBitosWhap
          6 years ago

          She never described HOW her safety was put at "risk"

          She just said he was "obsessive"

          But how?

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        • BahmBitosWhap
          6 years ago

          Im talking what-ifs

          I never said anything for certain

          Obviously I dont know the situation so its hard for me to say

          You also gotta understand perspective. What if to him its not harassment, but just caring about her, and to her its harassment, each person could have their own view on that

          So like I said, hard to say

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          • RoseIsabella
            6 years ago

            Sure there are plenty of variables, and it's all about perspective, but the perspective of the person being harassed is the only one that matters.

            If someone really cares about another person he or she will respect the person enough to leave said person alone. I had a loser who stalked me when I was in college, it was a nightmare! You better believe I don't give two shits about what anyone who acts like a stalker feels. No means muthafuckin no!

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            • BahmBitosWhap
              6 years ago

              Not really. Its just that some people are just big babies lol

              Look at the SJW crowd. And the feminist crowd. They feel offended over nothing lol

              LITTERALLY nothing! And should we sympathize with them?

              No.

              But like I said, it DEPENDS on how the person is going about it! If the dude is just saying "Hi" to her on the street or something, and just concidently happens to run into her alot, by honest pure chance, and not by stalking, then OF COURSE it could give her the perspective that hes PURPOSELY stalking her.

              It all depends. You cannot say. I cannot say. The only person who truely has all the details is OP, and if OP aint willing to give up those details, then I guess we will never know

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