u didnt mention if u talked ur concerns over with her? maybe shes unaware of how u feel and would make changes to b with u. money can b a trickey issue, if she is struggling u hav been very helpful, explain to her about how u feel un appreciated. u never no things may take a positive turn if u just talk openly.
@boston12: Hi, no we didn't get that far...she started crying and then walked out of the room. She quietly helped me pack my stuff after I explained my angst. I can't imagine her wanting to talk to the guy who "ruined Christmas 2012".
Last night when I came over I brought roses and dinner with me...so the thought of leaving never entered my mind until after we spoke and...there was no talking occurring. I sort of sat there thinking, "What the heck am I doing??"
I looked at the sheets...dirty...I looked around...disaster...I conducted memory recall from every visit and realized regardless of how far in advance we planned, it was as if I dropped in and surprised her. Basically, I didn't feel very welcomed or like this was heading toward a serious commitment...and I was about to meet the folks.
She was never overtly rude to me, but it always seemed like I was a last minute plan. When I discovered she didn't know how much she owed "everyone"...didn't know how much was going out compared to coming in, house in disarray at all times (we're talking clothes, toys, sowing machine on the floor (hasn't been used in over a year--I asked) in living room, old bills and junk mail mixed with daughter's drawings on floor and everywhere...I sadly realized that we were very different on how we view our own lives.
It was starting to feel like I was saving her and this was not starting off as a partnership.
Sorry for the extended portion here...I summarized in my initial post. I'm not perfect by any means, but when visitors come over I clear up the common areas and ensure everyone's comfortable. If all I have is ice water to drink, I offer it...and well, just the things my mother raised me to be. If I borrow from someone or put someone in a compromising position, or generally inconvenience them, I'll try to make up for it (pay them back, help with a project, etc.)
If I'm in a relationship and it starts to go in one direction...it sort of feels like you're being used...even if it's unintentional.
I am willing to talk to her, I'm not angry, but I felt like I needed to safe guard some boundaries.
Broke up...bad timing...wrong reasons...I just don't know
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u didnt mention if u talked ur concerns over with her? maybe shes unaware of how u feel and would make changes to b with u. money can b a trickey issue, if she is struggling u hav been very helpful, explain to her about how u feel un appreciated. u never no things may take a positive turn if u just talk openly.
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@boston12: Hi, no we didn't get that far...she started crying and then walked out of the room. She quietly helped me pack my stuff after I explained my angst. I can't imagine her wanting to talk to the guy who "ruined Christmas 2012".
Last night when I came over I brought roses and dinner with me...so the thought of leaving never entered my mind until after we spoke and...there was no talking occurring. I sort of sat there thinking, "What the heck am I doing??"
I looked at the sheets...dirty...I looked around...disaster...I conducted memory recall from every visit and realized regardless of how far in advance we planned, it was as if I dropped in and surprised her. Basically, I didn't feel very welcomed or like this was heading toward a serious commitment...and I was about to meet the folks.
She was never overtly rude to me, but it always seemed like I was a last minute plan. When I discovered she didn't know how much she owed "everyone"...didn't know how much was going out compared to coming in, house in disarray at all times (we're talking clothes, toys, sowing machine on the floor (hasn't been used in over a year--I asked) in living room, old bills and junk mail mixed with daughter's drawings on floor and everywhere...I sadly realized that we were very different on how we view our own lives.
It was starting to feel like I was saving her and this was not starting off as a partnership.
Sorry for the extended portion here...I summarized in my initial post. I'm not perfect by any means, but when visitors come over I clear up the common areas and ensure everyone's comfortable. If all I have is ice water to drink, I offer it...and well, just the things my mother raised me to be. If I borrow from someone or put someone in a compromising position, or generally inconvenience them, I'll try to make up for it (pay them back, help with a project, etc.)
If I'm in a relationship and it starts to go in one direction...it sort of feels like you're being used...even if it's unintentional.
I am willing to talk to her, I'm not angry, but I felt like I needed to safe guard some boundaries.
Hope that's not too much info.
Thank you.