Breaking the hymen? lose your erection when you put the condom?
So, me and my boyfriend have been together a year ago. I'm 18 years old, and he is 19 this year. but there is a problem. Actually, it's more than a problem.
Okay, let's start ... as is normal for two people of this age, we've often feel desire for doing sex. We've tried to have sex, but I always feel a lot of pain, because I'm virgin and I have the hymen (septate hymen, in my case). He tried with fingers, but I just can not stand the pain and not worth the effort because the hymen always ends the same, and it really hurts. He has told me to try it myself while I masturbate, but I'm afraid and I don't think I can do it by myself. For me it was easier if he were to do. I already have masturbated many times but never put my fingers or objects inside.
Also, I'm really worried because I have read some things about women that even after the first time, still keep feeling pain in sexual relations (because hymen not always break up, sometimes it just widens, and only break up when a woman gives birth). ._.
And I don't want that to happen to me. I also wanted to avoid going to a specialist, because that would be embarrassing and also because it would involve me having to tell my mother, wich is not very comfortable.
I really wanted the hymen just disappear in a sexual relationship, as is normal and happens to most of girls, but the problem is that the times that we tried to have sex, he was excited at the beginning, but when it was the time to put the condom, he's not so excited. And It happens all the time when we put a condom. I've read a few things, and I told him to try to masturbate with a condom a few times, to get used to the feeling. And he tried, but he told me that condoms are very unconfortable.
So is not that this is a big problem, actually I could live like this because we do everything, we just don't do penetration. But I wanted to give him the pleasure. And of course, I want at least to know how it feels like, and I don't want to have like 30 or 40 years old and don't know what sex is. xD
So my questions are:
1 - is it normal it is normal to lose your erection when you put the condom? this has happened to you guys? what did you do?
2 - is it normal have so much pain breaking the hymen? There are girls that break it accidently playing in children, I'm really jealous ._. if you can comment and give opinions or share stories, I would appreciate. Thank you :)
ps: sorry if my english is not the most correct, this is not my first language.