Boyfriend's ready for marriage, but i think we should finish school.

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I met my boyfriend the summer after I graduated high school at a camp for incoming freshman. I didn't think of him as a possible boyfriend then, but as we got to know each other our first semester, we grew very close and ended up dating that winter. We've been dating now for 1 1/2 years. We've talked about marriage and having kids and everything several times. He's told me that he's ready to get married, and though I'd love to be able to say that I feel the same way, I'm just not ready. We do love each other and are committed to each other. He's ready to get married as soon as next summer (2010). He says that he can take care of me, but I really don't see how, because he's also a full-time student, and the job that he does have at school doesn't pay much, trust me. I'll be in school until I'm 25, (I'm 20 now), and though I don't want to wait until I'm finished with PA school, I think we should at least wait until he has finished his masters in 3 to 3 1/2 years and has a job so that we have some kind of income. In past conversations with him, I've admitted to wanting to marry him sooner than later, but not only are we not financially stable, we're also very young, and a few more years to mature wouldn't hurt either of us. I just hate to tell him that I want to wait until after he finishes his masters and has a job. He really does have a strong desire to get married. Am I normal to feel this way? And what should I do about it?

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  • Nokiot9
    8 years ago | pl

    Yeah. Finish school. School is expensive and you shouldn't get married till you are both graduated and working steady jobs so that if you do decide to have a child, you have a stable base to raise him/her from

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  • itsallgood
    14 years ago | pl

    Wait a while. Being self-supporting in school is hard enough, and taking care of someone else will only add to the pressure.

    By waiting, you'll gain perspective as you get a few more years of experience with each other, and with life. If it's good now, it will be better after you've spent some time getting to know each other better.

    Life is an adventure to be savored like a good meal. Enjoy it and don't rush.

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  • hotchickie81
    14 years ago | pl

    You are totally normal to feel that way. Don't rush into something if you're not ready! And yes, you want to have a stable income before you get married - trust me on that one. Weddings are expensive! And you don't want to rush, get married, and then all of a sudden the two of you realize there's not enough money, and then the fights start. You're young, so there's still lots of time! Tell him you do want to get married, but you want to wait a couple/few years so you guys can save up some money. Best of luck! :)

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