Boyfriend (44) puts his exes above me and i am sick of it

42% Normal
8 Comments

I am currently dating a guy who has put his 2 ex girlfriends above me. He has changed quite a bit in the last 6 months as I actually broke up with him because of this, but we are now back together.

He said he was going to donate his kidney to his ex who is also a friend because she has a kidney disease. While I want her to have a kidney I feel it ties them together someone how and it just honestly does not feel right. I can be controlling but it is because I have had to put up with him crashing on the couch of one of his ex's (they are now platonic but play music together in a band). I finally told him he needs to get counseling for these codependent relationships he is in with his ex'x. The thing that bothered me the most was that his ex's never apologized to me about any of this or even CAME CLEAN about the fact that they were ok with him putting them first. I am so upset even though he has changed a lot. Like he does not sleep at any of their houses anymore. I still feel a lot of pent up anger for putting up with it for 2.5 years.

Is this normal??? Should I break up with him because he will forever be tied to them? I feel like I sometimes really HATE these two other older women (in their 50s). I am in my early 30s.

Voting Results
42% Normal
Based on 12 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    OH HELL NO! Fuck that bullshit with that old ass dude, and them old bitches! Move on with your life, girl. He ain't worth it.

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  • Dustyair
    6 years ago

    You're wasting precocious time staying with him.

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  • Pumpurrnickel
    6 years ago

    If you're certain that he's putting his exes first, then leave him.

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  • giesbrechtgarry
    6 years ago

    the only time and i mean the only time to deal with an exs is if there kids ... theyre exs for a reason ... deal with the legal shit and thats it ex's be gone.

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  • CDmale4fem
    6 years ago

    I agree that you are the one in his life, and so yes you should be #1 on his list of his "give a shit about". It sounds like he is something of a shit. I would have bailed out of a relationship like that probably 2 years ago. I have dealt with that before, I treated her DAMN good. I find later that she was still getting with her ex because she was afraid of a commitment. If we had sex at her place, and I fall asleep she would wake me up to have me go home. It got better tho. Then we broke up for good. But if he is not treating you with respect, then he is not being respectful to you. How you handle someone not being respectful to you is your call. I would kick'em to the curb long ago.

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  • geek_god_101
    6 years ago

    You should be first. I had a relationship like this where I was last in priorities of my significant other and I finally told them I am done. No one wants to be ignored in a relationship, otherwise the relationship ends.

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  • TerriAngel
    6 years ago

    Get over it.
    The only times I hear this complaint
    Among couples I've known.
    It's a 2 way situation.
    As in.
    1 the world doesn't revolve around you.
    2 I'm willing to bet you don't put him first.
    Having said that, if you expect it to change.
    You're a foolish person.

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  • Nickvey
    6 years ago

    dont worry about it. you will be an ex-girlfriend before you know it and them you will be above his current girlfriend and then you will be the special person you want to be. time fixes everything.

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