I don't think going all caps on me is really necessary I think we can disagree without becoming shrill. I totally understand what consent means and what its all about I know some people that are into things I would never want to do but its a consensual act. All I was saying is that without knowing the people involved I don't think its a simple matter but I don't think there are very many human inter actions that are simple.
She asked if it was considered normal not was she raped there for I don't think that answering something she didn't ask is going to be helpful. Many people ingage in the whole sleeping or sleepy sex thing and enjoy it quite alot maybe hes had that kind of relationship before so its not something he even thought about as maybe being wrong or needing to ask.
I've had bfs that liked to slap my bottom they never asked but I didn't object either I kinda liked getting attention in a sort of sexual way out side the context of being in the bed room so yea it was a normal thing we did but not every one would like. I think by your definition I was repeatedly sexually assaulted but the problem with the everything has to be 100% consentual 100% of the time is there is no way to have any spontaneous things happen. I think if I'm in a relationship and we have kissed alot like maybe been together for 6 months or whatever he doesn't have to ask me before he kisses me. I would never stay with someone that asked Can I kiss you? May I put my arms around while I do it? Can I pull you close with my arms? Etc. Sounds like having a relationship with a robot esp if it happens for every single kiss.
I don't know if you have a special line you draw at penetration maybe you do and thats fine I can understand that but the topic doesn't seem to be about definitions of rape so thats not how I took it.
The caps were to emphasise what you don't seem to be able to understand about CONSENT. If you consented to being spanked then it wasn't sexual assault because you CONSENTED. Spontaneity has nothing to do with consent: of course one party may start something the other person doesn't want but unless h/she stops immediately there's any indication of lack of consent the activity should be immediately stopped.
What's so hard to understand about that? Of course in a relationship it's not necessary to ask for consent to activities which have previously been enjoyed BUT I was raped in my sleep by someone I'd had great consensual sex with not long before and saying no and trying to stop him when I awoke was ignored: that was rape regardless of the fact that I'd previously consented to and enjoyed sex with him.
Ok I'm done the topic isn't about what is rape I'm sorry for what happened to you no one should have anything like that to them. I'm also not going to be lectured like a child I've had my own sexual traumas and they certainly weren't consentual at all but not agreeing with your opinion isn't the same as not understanding the issue. I don't know you but if your one of those last word people go ahead I won't respond you can win.
bf had sex with me while I was asleep
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I don't think going all caps on me is really necessary I think we can disagree without becoming shrill. I totally understand what consent means and what its all about I know some people that are into things I would never want to do but its a consensual act. All I was saying is that without knowing the people involved I don't think its a simple matter but I don't think there are very many human inter actions that are simple.
She asked if it was considered normal not was she raped there for I don't think that answering something she didn't ask is going to be helpful. Many people ingage in the whole sleeping or sleepy sex thing and enjoy it quite alot maybe hes had that kind of relationship before so its not something he even thought about as maybe being wrong or needing to ask.
I've had bfs that liked to slap my bottom they never asked but I didn't object either I kinda liked getting attention in a sort of sexual way out side the context of being in the bed room so yea it was a normal thing we did but not every one would like. I think by your definition I was repeatedly sexually assaulted but the problem with the everything has to be 100% consentual 100% of the time is there is no way to have any spontaneous things happen. I think if I'm in a relationship and we have kissed alot like maybe been together for 6 months or whatever he doesn't have to ask me before he kisses me. I would never stay with someone that asked Can I kiss you? May I put my arms around while I do it? Can I pull you close with my arms? Etc. Sounds like having a relationship with a robot esp if it happens for every single kiss.
I don't know if you have a special line you draw at penetration maybe you do and thats fine I can understand that but the topic doesn't seem to be about definitions of rape so thats not how I took it.
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Ellenna
7 years ago
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The caps were to emphasise what you don't seem to be able to understand about CONSENT. If you consented to being spanked then it wasn't sexual assault because you CONSENTED. Spontaneity has nothing to do with consent: of course one party may start something the other person doesn't want but unless h/she stops immediately there's any indication of lack of consent the activity should be immediately stopped.
What's so hard to understand about that? Of course in a relationship it's not necessary to ask for consent to activities which have previously been enjoyed BUT I was raped in my sleep by someone I'd had great consensual sex with not long before and saying no and trying to stop him when I awoke was ignored: that was rape regardless of the fact that I'd previously consented to and enjoyed sex with him.
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mysistersshadow
7 years ago
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Ok I'm done the topic isn't about what is rape I'm sorry for what happened to you no one should have anything like that to them. I'm also not going to be lectured like a child I've had my own sexual traumas and they certainly weren't consentual at all but not agreeing with your opinion isn't the same as not understanding the issue. I don't know you but if your one of those last word people go ahead I won't respond you can win.
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Ellenna
7 years ago
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I had no intention of lecturing you so I don't know where that's coming from. End of discussion for me too, it's all getting a bit repetitive