Bf gets mad at me when i bring up him cheating

so my boyfriend cheated on me and i forgave him and am still with him. but i told him it’s going to take awhile for him to earn my trust back and i’m going to be sad for awhile. whenever i bring up i’m sad at random times because i’m thinking of it. he gets annoyed and upset and acts sad too. he doesn’t really try to comfort me or love me he just kinda sits there no expression. he just keeps saying “everything’s okay i’m here with you now i do so much for you” etc etc. then flips out and smacks his head and yells and gets mad at me for bringing it up.
am i being annoying by doing this or do i have every right to get upset about this whenever i want? i am pretty calm and sweet about it. i don’t yell or act crazy i simply just say i’m feeling sad and not thinking good things.

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13% Normal
Based on 24 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 33 )
  • DeletThis

    Very common for low-empathy manipulative scumbags. The fact that you're still with him is you telling him it's ok to cheat, so that's why he isn't too concerned about your feelings. he's probably still cheating on you because now he has the excuse of "You were too upset and I have needs"

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    • what do you suggest i do to stand up for myself if i don’t want to end it completely?

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  • thepuppet

    honestly just leave him, you know it's not going to end well and that he hasn't learned and he doesn't respect your feelings

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  • Mini69

    Just get rid of him. He sounds like a real piece of shit.

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  • mafioso

    I think, that you are the girl with a boyfriend, who bought some nude pictures on Snapchat, and then you got the info, that he even cheated on you. I really don't understand, that you still wanna be with him. Do something good for you and break up with him as soon as possible.

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  • Somenormie

    Why are you still with that piece of shit scumbag?

    Do want you can to move away from him and by now I mean right now, because he might still take advantage of you. It's not okay for him to do this to you. If you keep on being with him he'll just keep using you he's playing you, he isn't a real boyfriend. He isn't worth your time.

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    • i want to work on things and i want it to workout because i know he loves me, and i love him.

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  • RoseIsabella

    You have every right in the world to be upset about his cheating. You will be much better off if you just leave him, he's no good.

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    • i want to work on things. but whenever he flips out or gets mad at himself or the situation i don’t know how to react.

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      • RoseIsabella

        Do you think he's gonna change? What makes you think he's gonna change? What if he never changes?

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        • because he said he doesn’t know what he was thinking and he just promised me. because i really don’t think he wants to loose me. but maybe i’m being naive and dumb

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          • S0UNDS_WEIRD

            You want it to work out because leaving feels like choosing the bad alternative. You wanted to be with this guy obviously. Leaving him kind of feels like just another loss for you on top of his cheating, and admittedly it might not feel good.

            The reality, however, is you are in the situation you are in. He doesn't care about your feelings. He cares that he was caught. The biggest issue for him is dealing with repercussions rather than the fact that you were hurt or that he needs to fix himself.

            He will cheat again. I'm sorry.

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            • yeah. just made a bumble profile and he matched with me. literally just left his house and he’s doing it again

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  • SwickDinging

    Fucking hell, just end it. I don't need to know anything further about you or him to know that you can do so much better. Nobody deserves this.

    Once someone cheats, that's it. Things will always be a little more shitty than they were before. Then they will probably cheat again at some point. Things get shittier still.

    Don't go down that road. Just walk away now with your dignity still in tact. You don't need this guy. He sounds like an idiot.

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    • GarlicPotato

      So true, sex people are bad people unless they fuck prostitutes.

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  • revarle

    Have you really talked about what happened? Got into it? Because it will be impossible for either of you to move on until you do. It'll be messy but you'll know for sure if you want to remain together or move on at that point.

    Tell him you want to have a serious conversation without emotional outbursts. If he agrees to it, prepare yourself to uphold your side of the deal. This doesn't mean you can't feel emotions or express them, but simply that you agree not to scream, blame, or cry (in a pointed fashion... tearing up is of course, okay).

    Now it is time to ask your real questions. You surely wonder about what he did. Are there details you are curious about but have been afraid to ask? Maybe you want to know what they did together? Maybe there is something he has been ashamed to ask you for that he feels he needs. If he can't have this conversation with you (and you can't have it with him)? You'll both be stuck in a past moment and won't be able to exist in present ones.

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  • Trojan99

    dump the prick

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  • notyours322

    I just ended a 3+ year relationship maybe a month ago and my ex bf put me through the same exact thing. My ex used to say it was my fault that he cheated because I pushed him away and made him feel so unloved and unwanted that he cheated basically. I used to look at him like he was stupid and ask him if I pushed him away so hard that he tripped and his dick fell into her pussy and if that was how it was my fault. I would also sarcastically ask him if I was there holding a gun to his head while he fucked her and I forced him to fuck her, on multiple occasions at that.

    Truthfully, I wish I would have walked away from the relationship way back then instead of sticking around and trying to work it out and get past that because it only got worse. My ex may not have cheated on me again but in the end he ended up beat the shit out of me and he broke me down so bad mentally that I honestly believed that the person I used to be was gone forever and I was forever going to be this pathetic, sad, depressed, defeated, abused version of myself forever.

    It hasn't been very long since I escaped that asshole and it's been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. He kept me isolated from everyone I knew for so long that when I finally got away I had no one I could turn to for help (and my family won't have anything to do with me) and I have been literally homeless on the streets in the middle of winter struggling just to survive. Don't end up in the same situation as I am. Get the fuck away from it all now before you have to deal with it. I knew if I had stayed with my ex for even a couple of months more he would have killed me. He even said so himself. There were a few times where I thought for sure that was it and I was done for. I got lucky. No one deserves that shit.

    You're only staying with this asshole because you're lying to yourself and telling yourself that hes actually sorry and he actually loves you because you don't want to be alone and because you want someone to love you and whatnot. He has already proven that he doesn't love you and never will when he decided that fucking someone else was worth risking your relationship to begin with.

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  • GarlicPotato

    Yes it's normal, too normal, and quite a disappointment to you, just find a man you can lean on.

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  • ellnell

    He wont change.
    Also you shouldnt be with someone you dont trust it's not healthy and you cant keep bringing that up. Staying pretty much means you are okay with it and forgive him, it only seems like you're a drama queen if you stay but keep bringing it up. It would be different if it was a mistake he deeply regretted and also wanted to work through but obviously he doesnt even care.
    And please stop making fake accounts and baiting him. Don't you see how toxic that is? Just DUMP.HIM.
    Jesus.

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    • GarlicPotato

      So true, but the man's the head of the woman, it's a man's job to provide for his wife and bring the bread and butter so his wife cooks for him bringing food to the table, not the other way 'round. It's the man's job to bring star status to the son and make him the heir, not to the cupcake or girl who's just a princess and has to serve the king (the man), if a small girl wants to be a difficult girl it's up to the father to spank her and carry her home, it's up to the husband to kiss his wife and never violate her, it's up to him to slide his dick in her pussy and throw her out of the house if she's a nuisance, and it's up to the man to punish his wife if she misbehaves by going out and having a good time making the wife housebound with scarce food or items in the kitchen and only so much as to make herself a coffee or maybe not, the wife gets nothing! And it's up to the son to make his mother cook him his favourite meal, and demand gourmet cuisine! That's how a man should behave towards women! That's how he disciplines his family, his wife and his mother!

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      • ellnell

        Sorry to break it to you but it's 2021 not 1921

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  • Imafriendyrock

    It depends how long its been. Even if it hasnt been long ago I feel if you have to constantly bring it up and think about it maybe he's not a good fit. If you two are always miserable and arguing for any reason then thats a negative relationship. Might as well find someone that makes you feel happy.

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    • we’ve only been arguing because he’s been depressed lately and its just me asking what’s wrong and that he’s been acting different, turns out it’s because he’s been cheating. it wasn’t like this in our relationship for awhile..

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  • DADNSCAL

    Don’t fall for it. Manipulators use aggression to squelch their victims’ feelings. Stand up for yourself.

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  • bigbudchonga

    How long has it been since he cheated? If it's recent then he's got to deal with the fallout of it. If this is years later then you've got to move on as some point.

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    • well i found out he cheated on december 22 but i realized that he’s been texting other girls for probably a couple months. but the second i left his house last night he downloaded bumble again and matched with the fake account i made..

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      • GarlicPotato

        Why can't you dump him? If you have a boyfriend you'll run into problems, and if you want to continue being the same you create problems for yourself, you solve the problem by looking down at life, not by having your head high when everyone else will knock that smile off your face, causing you to frown. You're better off living alone.

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      • bigbudchonga

        Yeah, you should leave him. Either that or be prepared to put up with cheating.

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  • trexagireve

    Lock him in a chastity device and get over it

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