Betrayl in the marriage

My wife of many years seems to be changing; I have encouraged her to be more openminded and expand her horizons. I have not been exactly the loyal pure as driven snow husband that she thought I as I had a habit of chatting online with other women; fantasizing about experiences; however, it was not an attempt to seek pleasure outside my relationship, that's why when she founf out, she was devistated and basically announced to me that she can no longer look at me as the husband she married. I can't blame her, but in tje years that have transpired since, I have been dillegent in my desire to make my marriage better. The problem is trust, which she has zero.Everything since has been accusations and interogations; no pysical. Contact has been minimal and regretful; frankkly I don't see a resolution to this. I stil feel that I didn't cheat because my intent was the oposite; she feels that any contact outside the mnarriage is a betrayl. I agree with her now because I have clarity; the problem is there's no creit for awareness now.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 7 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I think it's hard to e with someone for that long and if cheating would help ur marriage then why the fuck not. Live ur life have fun u live once

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  • Whoa...you messed up big time! I'd recommend counseling because there is no relationship without trust and you betrayed that.

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  • Seriously fuck you! You are a scumbag. Do u have any idea how much u hurt her!!!! She has no reason to trust you. And just because it's not physical contact doesn't mean it's not cheating and horribly wrong. It IS cheating! I feel so sorry for her. U really have no idea what it feels like. You didn't just break her heart u totally destroyed it!!! She probably loved u so so much that that's y she didn't leave u. How could u!!!?and how could u expect her not to act like that. She has no reason to trust u.

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    • Yes -I am remorseful.I told her to take a lover and take all of him, then feed me their juies

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  • While it is normal to have contacts outside a marriage, the line is crossed when you fantasize scenarios. That implies, while you may not act on your fantasies, you are unsatisfied.

    I believe this would be best dealt with in the presence of a marriage counselor. And hopefully the marriage counselor can find a psychologist that can help you wife learn to trust..as well as help you find a way to channel your efforts into your wife and not to a stranger's online company.

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  • try to imagine how you felt if you wife had any contact outside the marriage...i bet you 'd feel the same way and you would not trust her anymore. so you can't pretend your wife to forgive u!! the only thing you can do to save this marriage is to be as honest as possible to her...but i need to ask u a question. are you still in love with your wife? if you do, why have you been looking for any contacts outside the marriage? there's no reason to do it. maybe you should find the answer deep inside of you...maybe you're not satisfied of her anymore or maybe you've never been satisfied since the beggining

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    • Thanks for responding. She started freezing me out after the first few years; we are both very. Busy, careers, kids, erc. My insecurities created doubts which in my paranoia, spun into her having affairs. I know NOW that it was in my head. She is very attractive and I admitt the thought of her getting attenion is provocative. She seems to be in a mode of self discovery and I belkieve that she's looking for attention for real. She came home after work wearing a very revealing tip that exentuated her breasts; there's no doubt that whomever she encountered during the day could not help but notice her nipples.But who am I to judge, correct?

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