Being sexually reclusive?
Hi
I was wondering if there is something wrong with being 36 year old sexually reclusive virgin. I don't like being it at my age but I realise that my lifestyle has brought me in this situation. I am very reclusive person and prefer to be alone and see no issue with it. I have no friends or social life beside my own family so I got no one really to relate to. I seem to be totally disconnected from society and everything that other people do like fashion, visiting pubs and clubs, dating. These are all things that I absolutely despise. I guess I am individual person living in my own world. I have been only once or twice in night club and bar in my entire life and couldn’t' wait to get out of there. I have never been back because it's not my scene. I don't even drink or smoke. I do have some social anxiety and tend to avoid places where there is a lot rambunctious crowd and noise. I can be social but I tend to keep to myself. I never have problem interacting with people and people find me good company and with sense of humour. The thing is I never meet anyone as a potential partner or girlfriend and frankly I have never looked for one. You could say I am little a misogynist but not in total sense that I would go out of my way to hurt women. I just avoid them and dislike sharing emotions, being intimate, being touched and feeling vulnerable and out control. I feel relationships are a burden and just too much hassle. I am not depended on them. I think I am different because there is introspective side to me that longs for spiritual connection with god, universe and nature. I have definitely taken my eyeball off physical side of life. I am not a sex freak or desperately looking to jump in bed with someone. I don't long for touch and physical sensation. I have abstained from sexual intercourse all my life that it's not even important to me at all. I am complete switched off in that sense. I know it can be great and enjoyable experience but I definitely don't have desire or wish to even try it. I think I am used to being totally sexual reclusive. I am really content with the way things are in my life but I’m starting to feel pressure from outside and people in society. I am starting to question myself hence I need to know now is it normal to be like this? I am naturally stubborn and against changing my lifestyle but have this fear that someday in future I may face a critical scrutiny over my life choice and I don’t want to be victim or ridicule because I don’t have sexual experience. There are many intolerant and uncompassionate people in the world and they would never understand or ask me why I am like this. It’s my nature and I am content with it but I am feeling forced into it only prove a point to society and not feel embarrassed about being it. I wouldn’t care if I was virgin in my forties or fifties or rest of my life for that matter. I know this will freak some people out but it's not an issue for me. It’s far bigger issue for other people and that's the problem lies.