Bad to hook up with single mother?

I need some advice and opinions here.

I met a girl on tinder whose my same age 20, and she has a baby. Her last boyfriend she didn't really like and was a little abusive. She kept with him for financial reasons for a while but eventually found a good time and managed to successfully divorce. She got pregnant very early in the relationship before the mistreatment began, which she regrets mightily. Now her ex is helping her survive financially but shes single and being supported by her parents which hate her for what happened. It's really quite a handful of emotional baggage, but she is very sexually attractive to me and is craving intimacy by the sound of it. Should I pursue getting sex with her? Or is it too risky and or immoral and I shouldn't bother?

That's very immoral 8
Sure go right ahead 35
Not smart but it is morally acceptable 21
Other (comment please!) 5
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Comments ( 65 )
  • blinkeredharlot

    Why do you ever ask anything? Youre one of those awful people who pretend to ask advice just so they can brag and argue about how they're right.

    Change my mind.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Yo blinkered harlot wassup? How have you been? I've been great since I met a thicc fuck buddy on tinder.

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      • blinkeredharlot

        Lol you know everyone can see your past comments right? She was your gf for a flash lol. Why do you lie so badly?

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        • d0esnormalmatter

          So.... are you doing good or not?

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          • blinkeredharlot

            Im doing so good, I dont even have to make up women and claim to be fucking them

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  • RoseIsabella

    If you only want sex with her, and have no interest in helping her, or her child then you should leave her alone. You sound like a selfish, opportunistic, predatory piece of crap so far.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Well she only wants sex too. Her EXACT words were :

      "Just looking for casual fun I need a break from serious relationships right now"

      Since this post was made we have already arranged to meet irl.

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      • RoseIsabella

        If this backfires on you for any reason don't say I didn't warn you.

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        • raisinbran

          This sounds suspicious... if I were him I'd meet in public and leave my wallet at home.

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          • d0esnormalmatter

            I'm a lot bigger than her.

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        • d0esnormalmatter

          Well were planning to fuck today so I can remember to get back to you just to relive your stress. I never said what I'm doing isn't risky, it's always gonna be risky going for someone with that kinda emotional baggage. If she was average sexiness like a 5 or 6 idk if I would bother but she is at least an 8 and both partners I have had this year were not that sexy. Shes just a level above attractiveness wise so imma risk it for the biscuit.

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  • JustJazzin

    What a wanker lmao

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      What? I haven't wanked in almost two weeks because waking so much to pornography in the weeks prior has made getting off more difficult than it should be in bed with another woman.

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      • Clunk42

        Oh, two weeks, WhAt A LoNg TiMe.

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        • d0esnormalmatter

          YeS iT Is I caN't eVEn capItAliZE tHe RigHt LeTterS noW bECauSe I'm tOO hOrNY!

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          • Clunk42

            You know that typing random letters capitalized with others uncapitalized is just a way of mocking someone, right?

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  • myfreakinopinion

    In my experience battered women are bitter and misinterpret kindness, they have baggage, only date a single mother if you have your own kids.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Date? Or hook up? Not quite the same thing. Were not planning on being serious. I would never be serious with someone dragging that kinda baggage.

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      • RoseIsabella

        No, you would just use them for your own gain.

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        • d0esnormalmatter

          And hers by her own words. Shes on tinder for a reason. We both want to fuck eachother and we both find eachother attractive. Where did the idea come from that I'm the only one benefitting from this?

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  • Iszzy123

    Look if you don’t want to feel so guilty then help her in some other way than sex Caues isn’t not going to make the suAtion better

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      I don't owe anything to har. Not a damn thing. I wants sex and so does she. Why do I have to help her situation in another way?

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      • RoseIsabella

        You're just a cad.

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        • d0esnormalmatter

          Which means?...

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          • Iszzy123

            I didnt say do it Caues you owe her do it for your self

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            • d0esnormalmatter

              K....thats the plan.

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  • Boojum

    Can't quite see what could be immoral about this. She's single and on Tinder, so presumably she isn't looking for a new life-partner. If you both are totally clear that casual, string-free sex is all you will ever be about, then why would it be immoral for you to get involved?

    Unless you live in some fucked up culture where women are considered the property of their parents until some guy takes over ownership of them, then I fail to see how the fact that the father of the child is contributing to its care or she's living with her parents is relevant to what happens if you two get together and get nekkid.

    If she's actually looking for a long-term emotional relationship, then it would be immoral of you to lie and suggest you're open to that when all you actually intend to do is bang her and dump her when you get bored or all the complicated stuff going on in her life gets too tedious for you to deal with.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Well thanks Bj, I don't think its immoral either if I had to say, but I do see how poeple could think it is. I have done similar things before and what I hear is something along the lines of

      "You taking advantage of someone in a bad emotional state and using them for sex." Its as if I'm targeting people I know will be less prude based on their unfortunate situation that's not really their fault.

      It's similar to what I've done before with "using" less attractive girls (4's and 5's) for sex because they feel pressured to smash with me because I'm far more desirable appearance wise than them relative to our respective genders.

      I don't think that or the single mother thing is immoral however I'm not too confident in that belief cause I see the opposing side very clearly. Just want some input to consider.

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      • Boojum

        You could say that all relationships are about people using people in one sense or another. Every time we interact with another person we do it because we get - or hope to get - something out it. Even something as trivial as being politely friendly to the person on the checkout till at the supermarket is actually about us confirming to ourselves that we're a nice, friendly person who respects people even if they're doing a low-skill job.

        If serious, intimate relationships weren't about using, then it wouldn't be a cliché for them to end when one of the people concludes that they're getting nothing positive out of the relationship anymore.

        Relationships are positive as long as each person is able and willing to give what the other person needs. They're negative when there's an imbalance in the give and take - or when that's what one of the people perceives to be happening.

        In the example you give, yeah, you were using the less-attractive women for sex, but they must have believed they would get something out of it too. Maybe they were using you to make them feel more positive about themselves. Maybe you hitting on them gave them hope they could "date up" with other guys in the future. Maybe you were being used to satisfy their curiosity about whether the stereotypes about good-looking guys being shallow assholes are true.

        It seems to me that as long as you were clear about the ground-rules going into the sexual encounter, you treated them with respect, tried your best to make sure they enjoyed the sex, and parted on positive terms, then there was probably some sort of balance in the using, and there's nothing wrong with what you did.

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        • d0esnormalmatter

          Very well put my guy. I think a lot of people just have this stigma of casual sex so they find a way to make it sound bad even if someone does it right. Like talk to RoseIsablla for example, she practically thinks I'm a rapist for this lol.

          Poeple also don't like the idea of someone who is very attractive milking that for all it's worth. People will chew me out for having so many partners and being promiscuous about sex because they think its unfair to the average looking guy because it becomes way harder for the average guy to get laid if the top 10% of guys pursue and have multiple partners like I do. I mean if someone is a hardcore liberal and hates every uneven hierarchy it's no wonder they think its bad, but I still disagree. Some people are just hypocrites with that like me rich as fuck 8 figure grandparents who are all hardcore capitalism FTW in the economy but then if If someone takes advantage of their status in the dating game they get all pissed. It makes no damn sense.

          People don't understand that for the most part, everyone who's a stud in the dating game or economical game, gave up something to get there. Like most super rich people aren't very nice people. Most 'studs' of the dating scene have really shallow personalities and aren't very intelligent or invested in their career. So if I'm born with a leg up in a hierarchy, it's my damn right to use it at my will. In my opinion of course!

          What do you think about all this Bj? The idea of dating hierarchy verses economical and is it bad to take advantage of luck and natural predispositions towards success?

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  • technoire

    Too much baggage, I would move on dude.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Well I banged her already a few times and then she ghosted me. Little bit of good sex with a six and then a harmless ghost. No harm no foul!

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      • blinkeredharlot

        Lol you were calling her your gf at the time

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      • technoire

        Yeah dude, just be careful she doesn't randomly show up out of no where. Good luck!

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        • d0esnormalmatter

          Yeah I will lol

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  • Sleepykitten

    The surface answer to the moral question is, she wants NSA sex and you want NSA sex and neither of you are in a committed relationship, so go for it.

    But why do you know so much about her life if you both are just looking for NSA sex? Nobody asks for this kind of info while looking for NSA sex and nobody offers it either. This situation stinks. Either she's a very damaged person trying to look for intimacy through NSA sex, in which case a good person looking for NSA sex would leave her alone, or you pried her for this info to try to get close to her. If this was a healthy NSA setup you would not have been able to write this post. Leave her be, dude.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Well my whole "pick up" gig was hearing her out on her misfortune. We were chatting on tinder and she kinda spilled her guts more so than me asking her a bunch of questions. An 8 of of 10 girl by a college campus on tinder can get plenty of plays easy but she went with me because I showed that I cared about her by letting her vent her struggles.

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  • raisinbran

    Stay far away. It's not worth it.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Serious? Care to elaborate as to why? What could go wrong?

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  • Tittywhacker2469

    It depends on what the both of you want from this. If you’re sure that you both just want sex then go right ahead. But in that case, make sure that she’s not going into this thinking it’ll develop into anything more.

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    • She said she's not. That's not the primary concern, the primary concern I have is potentially feeling guilty about taken advantage of someone in a very negative mental state. See reply to Boojum.

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  • Clunk42

    What's your religion?

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    • Atheist.

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      • Clunk42

        I don't see why it would matter, moral-wise, to you then.

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        • See reply to Boojum. Just because I'm not religious doesn't mean I don't have any moral sense.

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          • Clunk42

            I'm going to agree with that reply to Boojum. Except, I don't actually really get the argument of "you're using them" because you're not. As a Catholic, it's against my moral beliefs, but I feel that if I wasn't, I'd have no problems with it.

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            • d0esnormalmatter

              Yeah I know it's against your religion and since your religion decides your morals for you, you have never had thought processes like I've had. Some atheists do have no moral compass but I'm not one of them. I feel that if you were atheist you would know what it's like to question something your doing because your not sure. In a way it's more stressful because a lot if situations come up and your not sure so you have to decide on your own.

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  • d0esnormalmatter

    Lol. Literally nobody asked. That's not relavant.

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    • blinkeredharlot

      Lmao 99% of your posts fit that description

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