Asking mom for punishment as an adult

I'm a male in my 30s, and a few times each year I feel overwhelmed by guilt and shame about certain things from my past or various things that still persist in my life. When these feelings persist, they almost always result in poor decisions and so on. So, to relieve myself of this guilt, a few times each year I confess to my mother all of the things I've done and things I've said and she punishes me accordingly. Obviously I can't be grounded (and I wouldn't want to be either because that drags out and I need immediate resolution) so instead, she gives me a dose of corporal punishment (similar to discipline I received as a child). They typically include a thorough and intense mouth soaping followed by a severe bare bottom belting. It's not unusual for her to give me one third of my spanking with a belt then one third with a switch then one third with a cane, occasionally she will make me keep the bar of soap in my mouth while she blisters my behind.