The problem is that it is so obviously meant as an insult that it just makes you look like a dick. You may as well just say "oi ,fatty, fuck off!".
It reflects more poorly on you than it does on them. Everyone can already see that the fat person is fat. You insulting the fat person for no reason reveals that you are a very insecure person, whereas they may not have noticed that about you if you hadn't have said it.
In my experience most bullies aren't insecure, they're just sadistic. I don't really get the reasoning behind the "they're mean because they're insecure" thing. If they're insecure, then surely they wouldn't have the confidence to draw so much attention to themselves?
If someone behaves like a bully I always assume that they are very insecure. They do it because they are desperate to draw attention to other people's flaws. They want other people to feel as bad as they do. People who are secure don't feel the need to do this because they are comfortable in their own skin.
I could be wrong but this is always the way it comes across to me, and it seems to be how it comes across to a lot of other people too.
I agree with Swick's response to this, but I also think it does let some nasty people who enjoy inflicting pain off the hook, so your view is valid too.
Many bullies are insecure in the sense that they aren't confident about their value as a person. The opinions of others matter hugely to them, and they see life as a zero-sum game. In order for them to 'win', someone else must lose by looking much worse than them. The bully currently occupying the White House is a good example of this: in order for him to feel good about himself, he continually lashes out at a wildly varying succession of targets in very personal terms. A more secure person would calmly restate whatever proof they had that indicated that their approach was correct, accept that there was a difference of opinion and move on.
Automatically putting all bullies in a category labelled "Pathetic person with serious self-esteem issues who can't help what they do", might make you feel better about humanity as a whole, but it also makes the bully a victim in some senses. The fact is that there are psychopaths who bully others in a precisely calculated way and get off on their power to make others feel miserable.
Because he's the most prominent example of the pathology.
He's the most powerful individual in the world, and he regularly spews threats and personal abuse in an attempt to dominate and intimidate those much less powerful than himself. Anyone who can't see that as bullying has a huge blind-spot.
"Because he's the most prominent example of the pathology." There are many people who would disagree with that. "he regularly spews threats" Factually inaccurate. "and personal abuse" When was the last time he did that? "Anyone who can't see that as bullying has a huge blind-spot." I think most would agree that those things are bullying. Many would also disagree that he does those things.
It is true that many people are locked into the Fox/OAN/QAnon bubble.
It's clear to me that presenting incontrovertible facts that are contrary to their worldview is as pointless as trying to convince SmokeEverything that outer space exists or attempting to persuade a biblical literalist that the world was not created 7,000 years ago.
Asking fat women if they’re pregnant
← View full post
The problem is that it is so obviously meant as an insult that it just makes you look like a dick. You may as well just say "oi ,fatty, fuck off!".
It reflects more poorly on you than it does on them. Everyone can already see that the fat person is fat. You insulting the fat person for no reason reveals that you are a very insecure person, whereas they may not have noticed that about you if you hadn't have said it.
--
Inkmaster
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
3
3
In my experience most bullies aren't insecure, they're just sadistic. I don't really get the reasoning behind the "they're mean because they're insecure" thing. If they're insecure, then surely they wouldn't have the confidence to draw so much attention to themselves?
--
SwickDinging
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
2
2
-
Boojum
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
If someone behaves like a bully I always assume that they are very insecure. They do it because they are desperate to draw attention to other people's flaws. They want other people to feel as bad as they do. People who are secure don't feel the need to do this because they are comfortable in their own skin.
I could be wrong but this is always the way it comes across to me, and it seems to be how it comes across to a lot of other people too.
--
leggs91200
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
2
2
Maybe bullies are sadistic and/or insecure, hard to say.
One thing for sure - they ARE assholes.
I agree with Swick's response to this, but I also think it does let some nasty people who enjoy inflicting pain off the hook, so your view is valid too.
Many bullies are insecure in the sense that they aren't confident about their value as a person. The opinions of others matter hugely to them, and they see life as a zero-sum game. In order for them to 'win', someone else must lose by looking much worse than them. The bully currently occupying the White House is a good example of this: in order for him to feel good about himself, he continually lashes out at a wildly varying succession of targets in very personal terms. A more secure person would calmly restate whatever proof they had that indicated that their approach was correct, accept that there was a difference of opinion and move on.
Automatically putting all bullies in a category labelled "Pathetic person with serious self-esteem issues who can't help what they do", might make you feel better about humanity as a whole, but it also makes the bully a victim in some senses. The fact is that there are psychopaths who bully others in a precisely calculated way and get off on their power to make others feel miserable.
--
Inkmaster
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Why did you have to go and make it political?
--
Boojum
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Because he's the most prominent example of the pathology.
He's the most powerful individual in the world, and he regularly spews threats and personal abuse in an attempt to dominate and intimidate those much less powerful than himself. Anyone who can't see that as bullying has a huge blind-spot.
--
Inkmaster
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
"Because he's the most prominent example of the pathology." There are many people who would disagree with that. "he regularly spews threats" Factually inaccurate. "and personal abuse" When was the last time he did that? "Anyone who can't see that as bullying has a huge blind-spot." I think most would agree that those things are bullying. Many would also disagree that he does those things.
--
Boojum
3 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
See More Comments =>
It is true that many people are locked into the Fox/OAN/QAnon bubble.
It's clear to me that presenting incontrovertible facts that are contrary to their worldview is as pointless as trying to convince SmokeEverything that outer space exists or attempting to persuade a biblical literalist that the world was not created 7,000 years ago.